Toddlerhood has hit and I'm going nuts :-(

seeker

Sat, Nov 26 2011, 7:16 pm

DD is about to turn one and I suddenly feel like a terrible mother. She was sick last week so maybe this is still aftereffects, but seems to be her new way of life: Kvetching all the time, especially around me. Begging to nurse constantly. Tantrums if I don't hold/nurse her on demand. Refusing to go to sleep in crib. Doesn't want to sit in high chair - more crying/whining/tantrums. AAAAAAGH my life is turning into one big misery!

She behaves better for DH and the babysitter. When she was begging to nurse and I knew she didn't need it (she was popping off every other second, and had just nursed for real a short time ago) I left her with DH - she cried really angry when I left but as soon as I was out a minute or so she cheered right up and ate like a mentch.

We have raised her with certain routines and expectations, she KNOWS that you get food in the high chair, etc. But now she won't stop whining!

I don't think I can cope with this anymore :-(

jelly belly

Sat, Nov 26 2011, 7:22 pm

First, toddlers do tend to pass through phases. She won't be exactly like this until she turns 4 Wink

Also, it is very common for toddlers to behave differently around parents vs around others. My ds is an angel with his babysitter, a little more difficult with my dh, and a full-fledged terror when I'm taking care of him. You will get used to the new, improved (haha) version of your dd, and they really do mature quickly as toddlers. Every day you will see her learn new things, understand more about the world, and become just a teeny bit more rational than the day before. There are lots of books on dealing with toddlers, if you feel like you need some kind of guided method. Hang on!

seeker

Sat, Nov 26 2011, 7:25 pm

Right now all I need is for the whining to stop... and some normal sleep... is she EVER going to wean from nursing? We were down to a couple of times a day plus nights and now she is constantly tugging at my shirt.

I feel so unloving because I keep sending her off with DH. Poor DH has no downtime anymore, as soon as he gets home he gets a kvetchy baby shoved at him! And I never get any fun peaceful time with DD anymore because she's always kvetching!

*Note: By "never" I mean over the past two days or so. LOL. It feels like forever! My head is killing!

jelly belly

Sat, Nov 26 2011, 7:33 pm

Very, very likely that it's worse because of her illness. Sometimes I think my ds will never go back to his yummy self, but a couple of days after he is feeling better/no longer jetlagged/back in familiar surroundings he is enjoyable again.

Re: nursing. It depends how much you want to stick with it. When I felt that my overwhelming feeling toward nursing had become resentful rather than enjoyable, I got serious about weaning. I gotta say there is something about getting a full night's rest that makes it easier to be a cheerful mommy! I didn't get to that point until I had fully weaned. At that age, it tends to be mommy-led and not baby-led, especially when the baby is that into it.

Have you tried changing up the routine? She might be reacting to being cooped up more due to cold weather. Try some new sensory-based activities: playing with water, raw beans, finger paint, stuff like that.