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-> Household Management
Sanguine
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 Thu, Dec 25 2014, 3:38 pm
| MaBelleVie wrote: | | That's lovely. I'm not sure why you had to generalize and say that all Israelis are poor and happy. | What's nice in Israel is that there are a lot of different types of communities. You can pick the type that you're comfortable with. There are the more American ones where the kids go to summer camp and life is more expensive. I don't think it's so much a matter of competing but the level of life is more expensive. There are people who want that too, but the important thing is not to live in that type of neighborhood if you can't afford it.
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Sanguine
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Thu, Dec 25 2014, 3:43 pm
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And just adding... From what I hear from ladies here, I think all those kollels in Yerushalayim do such a disservice to those poor couples who have to pay Yerushalayim rents and costs. Why don't they build the kollels in Yishuvim? Rent will cost a quarter of what they pay in Yerushalayim. Everything is cheaper in the "suburbs".
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luppamom
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Thu, Dec 25 2014, 3:52 pm
| Sanguine wrote: | | And just adding... From what I hear from ladies here, I think all those kollels in Yerushalayim do such a disservice to those poor couples who have to pay Yerushalayim rents and costs. Why don't they build the kollels in Yishuvim? Rent will cost a quarter of what they pay in Yerushalayim. Everything is cheaper in the "suburbs". |
There are plenty of Kollels outside of J"m. On the top of my head, I can think of Kiryat Sefer and Beitar, that have a lot of Americans. The couple has to choose to live OOT. Many young Kollel couples aren't interested.
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Sanguine
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Thu, Dec 25 2014, 4:09 pm
| luppamom wrote: | | There are plenty of Kollels outside of J"m. On the top of my head, I can think of Kiryat Sefer and Beitar, that have a lot of Americans. The couple has to choose to live OOT. Many young Kollel couples aren't interested. | It's so funny to call neighborhoods in Israel OOT. I don't think it's really an Israeli concept. The idea of cheaper, yes, but OOT is funny. Well that's why these couples have such a hard time.
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luppamom
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Thu, Dec 25 2014, 4:24 pm
| Sanguine wrote: | | It's so funny to call neighborhoods in Israel OOT. I don't think it's really an Israeli concept. The idea of cheaper, yes, but OOT is funny. Well that's why these couples have such a hard time. |
It's not  I imported my American terms. I happen to love OOT both in America and in Israel. I guess Israelis just call it by the name of the city or The North or The South.
But, just like in America, some people like the conveniences of a city and J"m is not just any city! It also has an extra dose of kedusha!
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Sanguine
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Thu, Dec 25 2014, 4:39 pm
| luppamom wrote: | | and J"m is not just any city! It also has an extra dose of kedusha! | The problem with Yerushalayim is the competition. You know how many Foreigners retire in Yerushalayim? The price of apartments there is a joke to a retired american who sold his big NY house. They're willing and able to pay higher rates leaving young couples competing for apartments with them.
Anyway - I think we hijacked this thread.
So back to OP. Following our conversation here - Can you move to a cheaper neighborhood while DH is in dental school? Cause the dental school is your temporary financial problem
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MaBelleVie
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Thu, Dec 25 2014, 4:51 pm
| Sanguine wrote: | | What's nice in Israel is that there are a lot of different types of communities. You can pick the type that you're comfortable with. There are the more American ones where the kids go to summer camp and life is more expensive. I don't think it's so much a matter of competing but the level of life is more expensive. There are people who want that too, but the important thing is not to live in that type of neighborhood if you can't afford it. |
I'm pretty sure that exists everywhere.
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luppamom
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Thu, Dec 25 2014, 5:00 pm
| MaBelleVie wrote: | | I'm pretty sure that exists everywhere. |
Definitely! As I wrote above regarding Israel, it's called OOT! In most OOT communities, there is MUCH less social pressure.
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mille
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Thu, Dec 25 2014, 5:08 pm
I really didn't read all the posts, sorry if this is a repeat.
New cars aren't always so expensive. I pay less than $200/mo for my brand new car lease, and I put $0 down. I get that this isn't pocket change for everyone, but leasing is an option where you have a low monthly payment, don't have to put money down (so no dipping into savings), and you can get a new car every 3 years when the lease is up. But you never actually own the car.
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amother
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Thu, Dec 25 2014, 6:17 pm
| amother wrote: | | Funny ....we got a 2013 car when we were literally PENNILESS!! Our bank accounts were in the negative. We owed credit cards .... and had no car and no money to buy one. We couldn't even buy an old, used car - that's how poor we were. And then.. we found out that for around $200 (a month) we get get a brand new car (leased)! So...$200 we figured somehow we could come up with but not a few thousand dollars for a used car! I hope that explains why some people drive new cars ...because they are too poor to buy an old one! |
this sounds like me. everyone kept saying we should buy a used car when we got married but no-one offered to lend us the ten thousand dollars necessary to get a decent one so we lease a2014 car cuz we were too poor to buy an old one!!! 
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amother
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Thu, Dec 25 2014, 6:23 pm
| amother wrote: | | this sounds like me. everyone kept saying we should buy a used car when we got married but no-one offered to lend us the ten thousand dollars necessary to get a decent one so we lease a2014 car cuz we were too poor to buy an old one!!! |
my question is how do you afford insurance on a brand new lease car? I have a 2006 car. I got a loan that I only have to pay $100 a month for. I don't pay that much insurance either. There was no way we could afford the price of a lease or increase in insurance.
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MaBelleVie
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Thu, Dec 25 2014, 6:33 pm
| amother wrote: | | my question is how do you afford insurance on a brand new lease car? I have a 2006 car. I got a loan that I only have to pay $100 a month for. I don't pay that much insurance either. There was no way we could afford the price of a lease or increase in insurance. |
I was starting to think I'm the only one who financed a used car!
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amother
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Thu, Dec 25 2014, 7:11 pm
How much do you think insurance costs? I pay less for my 2013 mini van than for my husband's 2009 Sedan. Total $65/mo, and that's with comprehensive coverage and a $250 deductible. I could probably get liability with a higher deductible for less than $40 total.
And FTR, you can finance a car with 0% down. A good deal with a low interest rate makes a used car just as doable as a lease, except you own the clunker at the end. So don't go judging the people who own used cars now that you heard that poor people can only afford to lease.
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amother
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Thu, Dec 25 2014, 7:25 pm
Just to add my 2 cents in since you're all talking about cars.
Something is confusing me here. We are poor and no we don't lease a car. Because we are poor and we actually don't have an extra 240$ a month for a minivan. We just don't have it.
We bought a used van but really used and really old, so it was quite a low price. And family members decided to give us money towards it as a gift. Yeah we knew what we were getting into by getting such an old car but there really wasn't much of a choice.
IT's seen the mechanic more than I would like, so I dont' really know how worth it is but there wasn't much of an option.
So please don't say poor people lease fancy new odysseys. They're obviously not that poor.
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amother
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Thu, Dec 25 2014, 8:26 pm
| amother wrote: | Just to add my 2 cents in since you're all talking about cars.
Something is confusing me here. We are poor and no we don't lease a car. Because we are poor and we actually don't have an extra 240$ a month for a minivan. We just don't have it.
We bought a used van but really used and really old, so it was quite a low price. And family members decided to give us money towards it as a gift. Yeah we knew what we were getting into by getting such an old car but there really wasn't much of a choice.
IT's seen the mechanic more than I would like, so I dont' really know how worth it is but there wasn't much of an option.
So please don't say poor people lease fancy new odysseys. They're obviously not that poor. |
We thought about this, because we don't have $240/month either, but like you said- a truly used car costs in maintenance, and you never know when it's gonna go. We financed a new/used model (2013-was a lease) and pay $149/month. By the time we own it we'll probably be putting that amount away per month to pay for repairs.
Like someone said in a much earlier post. Some things that seem expensive are actually cheaper long term than the options that look like they cost less.
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Bsimcha
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Thu, Dec 25 2014, 9:02 pm
| amother wrote: | Just to add my 2 cents in since you're all talking about cars.
Something is confusing me here. We are poor and no we don't lease a car. Because we are poor and we actually don't have an extra 240$ a month for a minivan. We just don't have it.
We bought a used van but really used and really old, so it was quite a low price. And family members decided to give us money towards it as a gift. Yeah we knew what we were getting into by getting such an old car but there really wasn't much of a choice.
IT's seen the mechanic more than I would like, so I dont' really know how worth it is but there wasn't much of an option.
So please don't say poor people lease fancy new odysseys. They're obviously not that poor. |
Been there, done that, I personally find that with a lease I know my bills ahead of time and the car is reliable. To me, it was harder financially when the car needed a repair, I'd never know what it would be.
An old car can have large repairs and be unreliable. What happens when a car is needed to get to work and it's being repaired?
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ruchelbuckle
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Thu, Dec 25 2014, 9:51 pm
OP:
I know you didn't want this thread to get started on a long list of pros and cons of leasing vs. buying. 
I wanted to share my experience with you.
I have totally been in your place, where I look around and it seems EVERYONE is doing better than us. Its like everyone knows a secret that we don't. Everyone has a nicer car. It seems everyone else can afford a lawn service. Everyone else lives in the neighborhood we couldn't get into. everyone can support tzedakos we can't.
I will tell you this: once, we were at the airport, coming back from visiting our parents. I saw another mother from one of my kids classes, we were on the same flight. I had never actually chatted with her, so we started shmoozing. Let me tell you the run-down:
1) a HUGE ring.
2) a nice leased odyssey
3) works part time in a non-profit
4) husband still in school/kollel (part time each)
5) expensive handbag, expensive luggage
6) kids all wearing geox, venettini, etc..
7) great house in a great neighborhood. they hadn't moved in yet because they were doing renovations!!
8) and the kicker: when we boarded....they took their seats in First Class!!!
very, very clear that they live a nice lifestyle on the parents bill.
I had a ton, ton, ton of resentment about her....and everyone else like her (okay, most people don't sit in first class!). I was always thinking, "well, it must stink to have that level of dependency on her. I wonder how she is going to feel when her parents stop the support." Or, "Well, she must have have shalom bayis issues. I mean, how can she respect her DH if he doesn't do very much to support this lifestyle." And on, and on, and on.....
It wasn't just her....I felt that way about everyone who seemed to have it better than me! Basically, I tried to make myself feel better that I don't live a nice lifestyle and they do....like I would try to (internally) put them down to make myself feel better. When you think about it, its silly.... if I think negative thoughts about Mrs. X, then all of a sudden I'm going to have more money? Why is it so bad that her parents pay tuition for the grandkids? I hope to be able to help my kids too when I'm at that stage!
I began to realize how unproductive these types of thoughts are. I know intellectually that Hashem gives me everything I need, but I began to try to internalize it. I tried really hard, and slowly, slowly, it's gotten much easier. I always try to remember that Hashem has enough nice houses and enough Odysseys and enough jewelry for me, too.
I know it's hard to go through this, and it can be hard to hear what I'm saying. but seriously, take the advice to heart and try not to pay attention. it will make this tekufa much easier for you!
Lots of Hatzlacha to your husband in dental school!! Love, Ruchel Buckle
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anuta
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Thu, Dec 25 2014, 11:13 pm
| chocolate moose wrote: | | In America, maternity leave entitles you to disability pay, which is not only not taxed, but they don't take social security etc out of it before you get your check so when you do your taxes, that $500 check isn't even that amount, you owe like 30% of it to the Feds. |
not true. I worked for a private company when I had my first three kids, and I purchased a disability insurance through my employer; so yes, for 6 wks after vaginal delivery I was able to get disablity pay. FOr the rest of the maternity leave - depends on your employer, some pay you partial salary, some pay all...
Now I work for American federal government. There is no option to purchase short term disability insurance, and maternity leave is UNPAID. Yes, the government will keep your job for you for 12 weeks, but you get paid NOTHING. Now if you saved some sick days or some vacation days you can use them to get paid, but you can only use sick days for the first 6 wks when you are considered disabled. I had to be on bedrest before delivery so all my vacation/sick days went poof.
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