Do they HAVE to be wild?!

amother

Lemon

Sat, Sep 29 2018, 3:41 pm

My two oldest are boys, 9 and 6.5. Over the past two weeks I noticed that all their interactions involve roughousing, wrestling, or otherwise being wild. They also talk only at the top of their lungs.

I am a pretty calm person but cannot function when they are being wild or loud and recently I've really been losing it. They've become this way with their friends also.

How do you deal with it??! and how do I make it stop?

littleprincess

Sat, Sep 29 2018, 4:04 pm

Routine routine ... u said it's been happening the last 2 week's . The yomim toivim ... kids are put of routine and acting crazy . Here as well .
Otherwise continue to stay calm and talk to them . Tell them that u get nervous from noise and reward them if they play a quiet game

FranticFrummie

Sat, Sep 29 2018, 4:49 pm

I'm glad it's not just me!

I've been to several wonderful families over the chagim, and every single one seems to have a boy in that age range. Everyone else is enjoying a pleasant meal and a dvar Torah, and the boy is acting like he's at recess on the monkey bars! The parents don't say a word, and just pretend like he's behaving.

I so wanted to slip some Adderall into the kids juice cups.

I'm sure they are lovely boys, especially when they are back on schedule, but like you, my nerves were getting a bit frazzled.

debsey

Sun, Sep 30 2018, 12:05 am

Yep.

They do.

Congratulations - you are raising normal kids.

(They become civilized at some point around age 21, when they realize that social skills will help them in life. This happens faster than you think. Until then, invest in ibuprofen, earplugs, and a sense of humor. Oddly enough, I actually miss that stage in my older boys.)

flowerpower

Sun, Sep 30 2018, 12:28 am

When I see my kids start acting really wild and hyper I give them something to do. It sometimes comes from lack of structure and routine. Give them a puzzle, board game, magnatiles and see if they calm down.

amother

Dodgerblue

Sun, Sep 30 2018, 1:15 am

My girls are very wild now over yomim tovim, it's the lack of structure. I think all normal kids are wilder than usual. By now I'm in the "I don't care" mode, as long as they're not doing anything dangerous I tune out.

FranticFrummie

Sun, Sep 30 2018, 5:56 am

I want to be clear that all the "wild" boys that I've seen, none of them were doing anything you could call "bad".

It was more like they had so much energy that they were about to burst out of their skins! shock

I've always said that G-d won't give you more than you can handle. That's why I have one girl; and my sister who has more patience got the two boys. LOL

Ruchel

Sun, Sep 30 2018, 7:28 am

Each kid, age, circ is different. But my father, who live through the Shoah and also in Germany, told me one of the very clear things he saw there was that children would play at their mother's feet, not moving a pinch (not able to unwind and run and yell etc) and he linked it to the catastrophe of crazy.

amother

Pumpkin

Sun, Sep 30 2018, 8:00 am

I'm the same way. I don't know if you live in a place conducive to something along these lines, but I have a rule that screaming and rough housing are only allowed in the basement or backyard.

thunderstorm

Sun, Sep 30 2018, 9:20 am

littleprincess wrote:

This! I literally have a pounding headache from the "loud" voices and sounds my boys have been making. It's totally because of Yom Tov. This includes my teenage sons as well. I just know that it'll get calm again so keeping that in mind I try to stay sane but I've been losing it too 😀

abaker

Sun, Sep 30 2018, 11:50 am

They just are wild and full of energy BH and with yom tov messing with routines they are even more silly. I have three boys in a row and they are into rough housing like crazy lately. As long as they are all willing participants, aren't being totally unsafe, and are in an acceptable venue such as yard,basement, their room I stay out of it. I only intervene if it's unfair to one or unsafe. And I thank Hashem that they are healthy and strong kids.

debsey

Sun, Sep 30 2018, 12:19 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

I've always said that G-d won't give you more than you can handle. That's why I have one girl; and my sister who has more patience got the two boys. LOL

Contests and races help with the too much energy thing

Who can run upstairs and find three things that start with the letter F the fastest? Who can run around the block and send regards to Mrs. Cohen from Mommy the fastest? etc. Anything to let them compete and run. Bonus points (to Mommy) if they accomplish something useful along the way!

zaq

Sun, Sep 30 2018, 5:30 pm

Some kids just are that way. People are made differently, some placid and quiet, some loud and bursting with physical energy. The latter is harder on a parent’s nerves but had you been living in a society in which you had to herd your own cattle, chop your own wood and grind your own grain, you might have been glad of a few “wild” kids. Placid is not “better”, just easier to live with.

Since this wildness is not your dss usual behavior, chalk it up to their being on vacation. Once school starts again and their schedule reverts to the routine, they should settle down. Meanwhile, find ways for them to work off that excess energy—preferably in a park or playground, not in the living room. Have Family Olympics involving races, stair climbing, other physical challenges, and small rewards for the winners. (Make sure everyone wins something.)

Also—reframe. Think of your boys as “exuberant and energetic” rather than “wild”. Doing so won’t protect your furniture or their clothes but might make a difference in the way you relate to them.

amother

Lemon

Tue, Oct 02 2018, 9:03 am

OP here.
thanks for everyone's answers. It helps to know that it's not just us and to remember that it will go back to normal.

I will stay sane... I will stay sane...

heidi

Tue, Oct 02 2018, 1:15 pm

Ruchel wrote:

What???