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Forum
-> Fashion and Beauty
Ima_Shelli
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 Sat, Dec 25 2021, 10:22 pm
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OP you have my sympathies! I was never considered pretty and the parts of me that people remember are related to my personality and talents and BH I am very grateful for those. Perhaps as a teenager I would have wanted the opposite to be true but now I can see the benefit… it’s never easy to feel older though and sometimes as I see a new line or wrinkle I’ll have a momentary pang… but that’s really it. I refuse to start on the Botox train.
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pesach
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Sat, Dec 25 2021, 10:24 pm
There are people in their 60 and 70’s saying I wish I’d have appreciated my looks in my 40;s and 50s. It’s super hard accepting the changes in ourself but once you do you’ll be happier for it.
Ain’t nothing you can do about it sister! (I know it sucks though.)
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amother
Daylily
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Sat, Dec 25 2021, 10:39 pm
| amother [ Orchid ] wrote: | How can white teeth be controlled? Mine are not white  |
Oh yeah. That new cap I told you about? The hygienist showed me some samples that were close to my other teeth (this was a front tooth). It was like choosing paint. They weren't anywhere near white. But I still like my smile now!
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amother
Navy
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Sat, Dec 25 2021, 10:51 pm
| etky wrote: | I'm 55 b"h and have learned to be happy with "looking good for my age".
I do put in effort to look my best, especially in staying fit and maintaining a normal weight.
That - as opposed to facial aging - is something over which I can exert more control so I try to focus on that.
I do use a few anti-aging serums (I started in my early forties) and I think they've been pretty effective b"h.
I've also made peace with the idea of coloring my hair. I hate having to do it but I really don't like the grey look.
It has been a struggle coming to terms with the physical aspects of aging and some days it bothers me more than others but overall I am more at peace with the concept than I was say ten years ago.
I think the forties are a very difficult decade for women.
It's when you first begin to look 'older' and it takes a while to adjust to no longer being young.
It's ok to be sad about it. |
Can you post the names of the anti-aging serums?
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amother
Daylily
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Sat, Dec 25 2021, 10:58 pm
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I think I'm too late for anti-aging serums but ooc what can you expect from them?
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amother
Sapphire
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Sat, Dec 25 2021, 11:47 pm
| amother [ Sage ] wrote: | I'm 45 and look my age. Like, I realize that I look just like a woman in her mid-forties. Sometimes it does bother me, but most of the time I'm realistic. I'd rather age in a dignified way than waste my time and money on more or less futile conservation efforts.
I have greatly improved the way I dress, though. I used to run around for many years in ill-fitting second hand clothes, out of principle. (Not lack of money, B"H, but rather as a form of anti-materialism). For the last 2 - 3 years, I've revised that and actually put in effort and bought myself decent clothes and accessories. It makes quite a difference.
Another thing which my mother advised me to do from an early age is that I use face cream every single morning and evening, only minus Shabbat and YT. While my face has become pouchier with age, I have nearly no wrinkles. My mom who is in her early eighties, also has fewer wrinkles than most women her age. |
Would you mind sharing which face cream you use?
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amother
Sapphire
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Sat, Dec 25 2021, 11:52 pm
| etky wrote: | I'm 55 b"h and have learned to be happy with "looking good for my age".
I do put in effort to look my best, especially in staying fit and maintaining a normal weight.
That - as opposed to facial aging - is something over which I can exert more control so I try to focus on that.
I do use a few anti-aging serums (I started in my early forties) and I think they've been pretty effective b"h.
I've also made peace with the idea of coloring my hair. I hate having to do it but I really don't like the grey look.
It has been a struggle coming to terms with the physical aspects of aging and some days it bothers me more than others but overall I am more at peace with the concept than I was say ten years ago.
I think the forties are a very difficult decade for women.
It's when you first begin to look 'older' and it takes a while to adjust to no longer being young.
It's ok to be sad about it. |
I love this. That the forties are a difficult decade. It makes sense. This is when things are really changing and we are no longer the young woman we once were. Thank you for that validation!!! And I don't like how much my looks are important to me but I'm trying to accept it. It doesn't help that in our culture the biggest compliment you can give someone is how young they look and it seeps into all our communities if we acknowledge it or not.
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amother
Lightgreen
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Sun, Dec 26 2021, 12:08 am
Much better to age gracefully and look sophisticated than to chase unrealistic youth. Older women with shiny, puffy or frozen faces don't look as good as they think they do.
I realize that "appropriate" is completely dependent on where you live, but you know it when you see it.
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amother
Seagreen
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Sun, Dec 26 2021, 4:57 am
which brand unrefined cold pressed jojoba oil is the best?
preferably uk
what diff do you see when using it?
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etky
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Sun, Dec 26 2021, 5:04 am
| amother [ Daylily ] wrote: | | I think I'm too late for anti-aging serums but ooc what can you expect from them? |
Don't expect anything too dramatic.
You won't get the same results as with surgery, Botox, fillers etc.
You will get a brighter, more even complexion, some fading of dark spots, some minimization/blurring of fine lines and wrinkles and maybe temporary tightening of trouble areas if you use the creams specifically designed for 'mature' skin.
For me that's enough for now, and I consider it a good return for my 'investment' especially since I use affordable serums and it takes just seconds to apply them.
I wouldn't say I look ten years younger because of them but maybe a few years younger than most of my peers.
Also - make sure to keep out of the sun as much as possible and to wear some form of SPF on your face.
I don't wear sunblock but my makeup contains SPF 20 and I really am only exposed to the sun in the mornings, right after I apply it.
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amother
Burgundy
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Sun, Dec 26 2021, 5:52 am
Due to an autoimmune disorder I am metabolically older than my age.
I have had white hair since my twenties and weight loss is slow. I have to chuckle reading some of these comments.
Also, it is kind of late to start with "a cream" in your 40s and 50s. If you started in your 20s, you would have had results now.
You need to use a cream anyway to try and maintain the way you look now. To look younger, you need to do something more invasive and/or use a more complex approach (nutrition, exercise, massage).
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amother
Blue
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Sun, Dec 26 2021, 9:27 am
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It's very hard for someone like me was always the prettiest around in school neighborhood etc. Now getting older I'm still being told that I look much younger than my age. The people that do surgery look so unnatural and stiff. I use expensive moisturizers and makeup which really enhances. I never did facials I felt I didn't want my face rubbed and scrubbed. I rather spent on creams. Chanel Sisley La Prairie. You can also get them on Ebay
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amother
OP
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Sun, Dec 26 2021, 5:46 pm
| amother [ Blue ] wrote: | | It's very hard for someone like me was always the prettiest around in school neighborhood etc. Now getting older I'm still being told that I look much younger than my age. The people that do surgery look so unnatural and stiff. I use expensive moisturizers and makeup which really enhances. I never did facials I felt I didn't want my face rubbed and scrubbed. I rather spent on creams. Chanel Sisley La Prairie. You can also get them on Ebay |
I read a study that no creams are more effective than even the cheapest.
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amother
Foxglove
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Sun, Dec 26 2021, 6:27 pm
| etky wrote: | I'm 55 b"h and have learned to be happy with "looking good for my age".
I do put in effort to look my best, especially in staying fit and maintaining a normal weight.
That - as opposed to facial aging - is something over which I can exert more control so I try to focus on that.
I do use a few anti-aging serums (I started in my early forties) and I think they've been pretty effective b"h.
I've also made peace with the idea of coloring my hair. I hate having to do it but I really don't like the grey look.
It has been a struggle coming to terms with the physical aspects of aging and some days it bothers me more than others but overall I am more at peace with the concept than I was say ten years ago.
I think the forties are a very difficult decade for women.
It's when you first begin to look 'older' and it takes a while to adjust to no longer being young.
It's ok to be sad about it. |
I appreciate your post but I hope you don't mind that I say that this part doesn't speak to me.
I've been told since I'm 29 that my young days are over.
"When you hit 30 you turn the corner"
Or " you get wiser, don't worry"
Or "you're passed your prime"
And forget it. Once you're 35 you're ancient.
"You're considered high risk at the OB"
"You start losing your looks"
And once you have a 16 year old, forget it, you pass the torch of youth on to your teens.
These are the messages I've been hearing for years. It's so sad how predominant this is in the frum world. I'm not in my 40s yet but I think I've come to the conclusion that I and I alone will decide when I'm no longer young anymore. I allowed people to decide for me at 29, at 30 at 35 and it didn't resonate with me or work for me. I will not let people decide for me anymore.
I look around me. I see people in their 30s and 40s having babies, looking gorgeous, running and jogging and taking care of themselves. From Kate Middleton and celebrities to my friends and neighbors in my community I see young and beautiful people in all age ranges. So I don't agree that 40s is not young. Age is not about a set number.
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amother
Razzmatazz
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Sun, Dec 26 2021, 7:11 pm
I am not using any creams.
Google natural skin renewal cycle
If you do use products read the ingredients well, please dont use mineral oils.
Organic coconut oil/fat is highly recommended.
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amother
Periwinkle
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Sun, Dec 26 2021, 7:12 pm
| amother [ Razzmatazz ] wrote: | I am not using any creams.
Google natural skin renewal cycle
If you do use products read the ingredients well, please dont use mineral oils.
Organic coconut oil/fat is highly recommended. |
I thought coconut oil clogs pores?
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amother
Seagreen
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Sun, Dec 26 2021, 8:02 pm
| amother [ Razzmatazz ] wrote: | I am not using any creams.
Google natural skin renewal cycle
If you do use products read the ingredients well, please dont use mineral oils.
Organic coconut oil/fat is highly recommended. |
why not mineral oils?
what about jojoba oil or almond oil?
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etky
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Mon, Dec 27 2021, 1:49 am
| amother [ Foxglove ] wrote: | I appreciate your post but I hope you don't mind that I say that this part doesn't speak to me.
I've been told since I'm 29 that my young days are over.
"When you hit 30 you turn the corner"
Or " you get wiser, don't worry"
Or "you're passed your prime"
And forget it. Once you're 35 you're ancient.
"You're considered high risk at the OB"
"You start losing your looks"
And once you have a 16 year old, forget it, you pass the torch of youth on to your teens.
These are the messages I've been hearing for years. It's so sad how predominant this is in the frum world. I'm not in my 40s yet but I think I've come to the conclusion that I and I alone will decide when I'm no longer young anymore. I allowed people to decide for me at 29, at 30 at 35 and it didn't resonate with me or work for me. I will not let people decide for me anymore.
I look around me. I see people in their 30s and 40s having babies, looking gorgeous, running and jogging and taking care of themselves. From Kate Middleton and celebrities to my friends and neighbors in my community I see young and beautiful people in all age ranges. So I don't agree that 40s is not young. Age is not about a set number. |
I think you have a great attitude and I agree that people in their forties are generally vital, definitely in the prime of life and can still look amazing.
What I meant was you begin to see physical changes in your forties that herald what lies ahead.
For some women (I think for men less so at this stage) this creates a mind shift, especially when hormonal changes are also occurring and fertility wanes.
The forties are often a decade of transition for women in various ways.
Different women will react in different ways to these physical and other changes.
I think that having a positive, empowered mindset can go a long way to offset negative feelings about getting older and there is no reason to accept culturally prescribed definitions of who you are if you do not relate to them.
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