Should I quit? | Imamother

amother

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 3:38 pm

I have PPSD an abbreviation I just made up for postpartum sleep deprivation. When I take a nap on Shabbos, I feel great. Last night I got a total of 4 hours of sleep over about a 7 hour period.

imasinger

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 3:44 pm

Ha, great abbreviation!

Of course it's hard to function on 4 hours of sleep per night!

That being said, what you posted about guilt, shame, and readiness to quit because you can't be good enough right now sounds possibly hormonal as well. You might want to consider checking it out, even if it's not the same on Shabbos.

SweetAngel

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 3:48 pm

Op can you speak to someone at your company about temporarily dropping a few hours a week so you have some time to catch up with yourself?
Do you enjoy the work you do? Are you miserable working in general or with your specific job currently?

amother

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 3:53 pm

Actually, sleep deprivation aside, I would love to quit to pursue my creative passions but would need serious coaching (which costs serious $$$) to actually get that off the ground...

amother

Lawngreen

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 3:58 pm

imasinger wrote:

She just sounds overwhelmed and overtired, not necessarily ppd at all.

amother

Heather

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 4:01 pm

Do you have savings to use as a cushion. Can your husband work more hours. Can your husband help with nights.

Like pp said you're unlikely to qualify for unemployment if you're fired for not doing your job.

ora_43

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 4:04 pm

amother OP wrote:

They did complain, but they aren't going to fire me because they aren't interested in recruiting and training another employee.

And that's how you know it's worth it for them to keep you on.

Yes it's not ideal to zone out at work. But sometimes you can't avoid it. You're still a valuable employee on those days, because you're still trained and willing to work and no smart boss is going to give up a trained and competent employee just because they have a few bad days, or even a few bad weeks. So don't quit for their sake.

I do wonder if there's any flexibility to tell them you're not feeling well, go nap for an hour, and come back to work. And make up the hours later. (For your own sake).

Also in general if possible (if your dh is around, and helpful, if your starting times at work can be staggered, etc) it can be helpful to do split shifts at night with a young baby. Eg one parent handles everything that happens from 9 to 2, the other handles everything from 2 to 7.

ora_43

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 4:07 pm

amother OP wrote:

Actually, sleep deprivation aside, I would love to quit to pursue my creative passions but would need serious coaching (which costs serious $$$) to actually get that off the ground...

A lot of creative stuff can be worked on very part time. Obv. not a substitute for having the time and money and energy to go for it full-blast. But giving yourself even just a couple hours a week for creative stuff can give a sense of forward motion that really helps (and it's not all psychological, that time adds up and you do get better at your craft, whatever it is).

amother

Garnet

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 4:18 pm

amother OP wrote:

Guilt about underperforming at my job

Look at it as a temporary difficulty. Looking back at someone's employment history over the course of a lifetime, everyone has times they underperform.
I went through a miserable divorce. I was a hot mess crying on the phone off and on for a number of weeks or more. Everyone politely pretended they couldn't hear me.
I was sleep deprived after returning to work 5 times over. People usually had patience.
And others went through the same thing. Some had medical issues, some personal.
I was otherwise a very valuable employee. This will pass. Keep the job if you need it to pay your bills.

amother

Sand

Tue, Jun 20 2023, 4:27 pm

This stage of life is insane. Nothing is normal about working with a tiny baby and kids waking up at night. But it's a stage, and if you have a stable job, it's not worth risking it. Rather, do whatever you can to make this stage bearable so you can get through intact. Prioritize sleep like a crazy person, get cleaning help, frozen food, whatever, so that you can go to bed by 9:00. Get a massage. Take a mental health day and just be alone. Ask your husband to take over laundry for the next 3 weeks. Figure out what will help you.