ISO community for BT couple (RWMO)

amother

Royalblue

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 11:25 am

amother OP wrote:

For Baltimore people, how is Univ of Maryland College Park for frum students? How is the commute? Is it frum friendly enough for a girl if she were to dorm? I ask because I have one daughter with career aspirations for a competitive advanced degree and Touro just doesn’t seem to offer what she is looking for and she doesn’t want to go to Stern.

Tons of frum students. Mostly from solidly MO backgrounds (not RWMO). Silver spring seems to be the perfect fit for you (which is 10m drive from University of Maryland) but it is very $$$$

PinkFridge

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 1:03 pm

amother OP wrote:

Would she consider dorming with a family?

amother

DarkKhaki

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 1:13 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thankyou for all the suggestions.

Baltimore looks like maybe a potential fit. Which shuls would fit us?

Passaic seems too large. For instance, where do I even begin with researching shuls? Plus OOT BY like I'm familier with, is way, way OOT compared to NJ BY even though NJ is considered OOT. I feel like people will think we are from Mars.

I would have a hard time getting DH to even consider "New Jersey" and anything on Long Island is out.

We come from a small OOT place and the thing is, I see a lot of peoples' kids grow up and move away because there is not enough infrastructure.

I don't want my kids to have to do that.

My DH is hard to please. He has many preconceived notions about different places and forms many of his opinions based on his political leanings and what he knows about local politics of any given area/state/governer.

Just btw, Passaic is less than half the size of Baltimore. It’s a much smaller more tight knit community.
That being said, I think both places would be a great fit for you
I grew up in Baltimore, and while my family is more in-town yeshivish style, there is a huuuge community in Baltimore just like you described yourself.

amother

Butterscotch

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 1:21 pm

Hard for me to imagine any college dorm being suitable for RWMO or BY girl. Even if a girls-only dorm is available, it typically wouldn't monitor guests, so boys would still be in and out all the time and using the restrooms and so on.

Sometimes there are quirky random campus housing alternatives that are not quite a dorm, but dorm like.

At Cornell, they had some townhouse freshman dorms, which were basically standalone apartments, but in a long building, like a motel. If four frum girls formed a bloc in one apartment, they'd have male neighbors, but no males in their living space. Cornell also had, and still has, a Jewish Living Center that was s_x separated when I was there, with men and women not allowed in each other's living spaces IIRC. But it was technically off-campus I think, and I'm not sure freshmen were allowed to live there.

JLIC has rabbinical couples at most colleges that have a frum population, and they can be a good resource for real talk.

amother

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 1:46 pm

amother DarkKhaki wrote:

.

Isn’t Passaic surrounded by a bunch of other cities with frum communities though? Are they all distinct or does one kinda merge into the other. It’s been a long time since I was in NJ and I wasn’t frum back then so I don’t really have a great reference.

What about a community high school for out of the box boy? Hence one of the reasons I said no mesivta.

I looked at the school options in Passaic for girls. I could find only 2. And I got the sense they were too BY for a plain, way OOT family.

justforfun87

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 1:55 pm

amother OP wrote:

Baltimore also only has 2 orthodox High-school options for girls.

amother

DarkKhaki

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 2:05 pm

amother OP wrote:

Passaic is right near Teaneck, which is primarily MO anyways

Baltimore has TA as a high school
There are all types in Passaic and Baltimore
You’ll find girls similar to your daughters in both places

nicole81

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 3:14 pm

amother Butterscotch wrote:

I don't know if it's like this anymore but about 25 years ago, I knew a bunch of rwmo and even some by girls that went to suny binghamton, cornell, and Barnard.

amother

Butterscotch

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 3:36 pm

nicole81 wrote:

I don't know if it's like this anymore but about 25 years ago, I knew a bunch of rwmo and even some by girls that went to suny binghamton, cornell, and Barnard.

Right, but did they live in a typical dorm? Big difference if it was specialized or off campus housing. Also, I think RWMO and BY are both more RW today than they were 25 years ago.

I was at Cornell 20 years ago. Every dorm had men and women in and out, boyfriends and girlfriends sleeping over, and so on. Technically it might have been the case that boys weren't supposed to use the bathrooms associated with girls' halls or girls' floors, and vice versa, but it was totally ignored in practice. But, per my earlier post, there were the townhouse freshman apartments which were more standalone and could've been suitable. For upperclassmen, the CJL or an off campus apartment could've worked.

amother

DarkKhaki

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 4:33 pm

amother OP wrote:

Ideally my DD would commute and live at home but just wondering if there was maybe a workable dorm solution if needed.

What universities are close to Passaic commuting distances?

Rutgers and every Manhattan university

amother

Wallflower

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 8:27 pm

If BY Machon Ora in Passaic is too right-wing for you, there are still plenty of other commutable options - Bruriah, Mayanot, Manhattan, and more, which Passaic girls definitely go to.

amother

Peru

Wed, Aug 23 2023, 5:34 am

UMD College Park is a bit of a shlep from Baltimore (big Jewish community of all types though).

She could look at UMBC or Towson, which are an easy commute from Baltimore and have frum students who live at home.

From what you describe your kids would fit in at BY and TA; they have a nice mix of types.