Mil sleeps in | Imamother

Isramom8

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 9:59 am

Now that several of our kids are parents and I'm a MIL, this thread fascinates me. I'm very grateful to be in this situation of a frum grandmother hosting our couples and a growing number of grandchildren.

My approach is that I'm loving and giving and super-enthusiastic about all our grandkids and each DIL and SIL. I only offer what works for me. You can come to me with a newborn, and I can watch that newborn from midnight till 3 am (weeknights) because that's when I can be awake. Don't expect me to do anything till at least mid-morning because that goes against my biology and yet I woke up at like 6 am for decades to get my own kids out to school.

You can use my credit card to order food delivered but don't expect me to cook full meals during the week. Now I do that for Shabbos.

You can have me top up your rav kav (transportation card) on my computer, or app you a taxi, at my cost. I need enough time to do it without pressure.

You don't have to bring a cake but I would like you to remember to clean the highchair tray and seat that your kid is using. I will give you a comfortable room. You will empty the garbage of diapers before you go home. You will clean up the toys - kind of cleaned up is also fine.

I will take the train to visit you and spend time with you and your kids. When it works for us all, and I'm not committing to a specific time interval.

I will go on an international vacation with you and help you with your kids. I get my own room and my own bathroom in the rental.

I can show up joyfully for you because I show up lovingly for me.

amother

Diamond

Tue, Aug 22 2023, 10:47 am

I haven't read past the first page but this has got to be one of the most selfish, self centered OPs I've ever read. I'm sorry, but I never write such strongly worded posts, but this was just wow.
OP, you view your mil as selfish. It's actually the other way around. I hope you can see that and you can work on looking inward rather than outward.
Eta. I too grew up with a mother like yours. She does everything an anything to help her kids. But I still would never expect it of my mil. I recognize that my mother is unique.. Rather than this being a failure on your mils part, your attitude is shockingly egocentric. The failing is in you.
I am even wondering if this is a joke.

amother

Tuberose

Wed, Aug 30 2023, 10:17 am

Isramom8 wrote:

Yes !! Exactly ! Well stated !