Reasonable to ask for quiet

WhatFor

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 7:41 am

Basements can sound crazy loud when people are doing normal things. The only thing that sounded like an okay request was the musical instrument one. No one should be playing loud instruments at night if they live near other people. Are treadmills really that loud? If so, then I guess that's okay to ask about.

But I've lived in a basement before I was married and every footstep can sound like Shrek is walking on top of your head. And once when I was at someone's house, their downstairs neighbor invited us downstairs and you could hear her whole family upstairs like there was no ceiling between us. Like every single word of every conversation. As it is, when you live below anyone the above floor is loud. But basements are something special. I'm not sure why. Off the top of my head, maybe historically people weren't living there so they weren't built with the insulation to block out sound?

I guess it's time to repost this overposted video that somehow never stops being funny to me.

amother

Forestgreen

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 7:43 am

amother Pewter wrote:

They can keep the kids upstairs or in rooms that aren't above bedrooms, till 7am. It's a very reasonable expectation.

One of my tenants asked us to keep it quiet until 8:00. I said no can do because we all get up at 7:00 to get ready for school. We aren’t going to scream and run and jump, but I can’t promise that our noise won’t bother them.

amother

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 7:45 am

amother Slateblue wrote:

This is such a ridiculous attitude. You aren't paying their mortgage. You are paying for a place for yourself to live. How they spend the money should be of no concern to you.

Technically correct
But I'm sure plenty of people only rent out their basement to be able to pay their mortgage. They have zero desire to have a family below them and then it shows. If you are going to rent out yout basement you do have to live differently with them in mind.
Doesn't apply to my situation because the upstairs people are renting too...

amother

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 7:48 am

amother Forestgreen wrote:

That's a personal request and I'd never ask for a personal request. 7 is a very normal time to be getting up and preparing for work and school

amother

Brass

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 7:53 am

amother OP wrote:

That's a personal request and I'd never ask for a personal request. 7 is a very normal time to be getting up and preparing for work and school

But so is 6 if you have toddlers or older boys.

We live under our landlords now and in our previous apartment. Bh now it’s a bit quieter but I have no expectations of quiet except at 11 and on I guess? Only thing I complained about was jumping rope…

But my last apartment had a really bad setup- front door steps were adjacent/ above our bedroom. My landlord would be up and about at 4/5 am sometimes, or coming home at 2 am from a simcha, they weren’t doing anything wrong but it still sounded like a stampede. Such is life.

amother

DarkOrange

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 8:06 am

Our downstairs neighbor has bedrooms under our kitchen.
They asked us to keep out of the kitchen from 10pm-7am. And from 1-3pm on Shabbos.
Its not a reasonable request.
We don't wear shoes in the kitchen. We don't jump or bang.
But my minyan son makes himself a coffee at 6:30 before running to his 6:40 bus. That's part of reasonable life.
I may wash dishes, or put them away (even if they clatter a little) after 10pm. Im careful not to use the food processor after 10, but I need to be allowed to prepare lunches.
My Mesivta son comes home at 10:30 and wants to eat. He has to be quiet, but he should be allowed to eat something.

amother

Tealblue

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 8:08 am

amother Pewter wrote:

They can keep the kids upstairs or in rooms that aren't above bedrooms, till 7am. It's a very reasonable expectation.

No not really.

amother

Tealblue

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 8:12 am

amother OP wrote:

Wow that's very wrong of them
The second you have tenants living below you (paying your mortgage too) you have to be mindful of them. Or don't rent out your basement!!

Baruch Hashem the family above us is very apologetic when I complain, I'm extremely grateful for that! I don't take it for granted

So what do you complain about?

amother

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 8:12 am

amother DarkOrange wrote:

They can't expect you to not be in your kitchen
They can ask you to make minimal noise...
I wouldn't ask people above us to not be on their main floor. Just don't be playing music or instruments or having a dance party or talking so loud I can hear your conversation above my noise machine

watergirl

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 8:18 am

I lived next door to my landlord's son and DIL. I was friends with her before we moved in. We were the first frum tenants they'd had in many years. From the first week until the day we moved out, she'd text me demands - the first time we hammered a nail into the wall to hang a mezuza at 2pm, I got a text to stop because it was making her whole house shake and she was trying to take a nap. 2pm! She'd tell me to move my car. She'd tell me how loud we are - forgetting that if she could hear us, we can hear her and yes, we heard her plenty.

Friendship ended, we bought a house BH.

amother

Razzmatazz

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 12:06 pm

amother Pewter wrote:

They can keep the kids upstairs or in rooms that aren't above bedrooms, till 7am. It's a very reasonable expectation.

Sorry but 7 am on a weekday may not be practical for every family. I live in an apartment but we are out of the home by 7:30 every day. No way are we going to be able to physically get ready without being able to be in certain rooms. On weekends? Yeah. But I have kids who need to go to school, I have to go to work...

amother

DarkOrange

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 12:12 pm

amother Pewter wrote:

They can keep the kids upstairs or in rooms that aren't above bedrooms, till 7am. It's a very reasonable expectation.

Depends on the setup of the house
Our kitchen is on top of the bedrooms.
I don't think it's reasonable to expect my family to stay out of the kitchen until 7am especially since we have kids who need to make busses, lunches need to be packed.

amother

Glitter

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 12:34 pm

amother Natural wrote:

Can't wait to talk to you in a few short years when you are the one living upstairs with an older family. Very hard to control what teens do. Boys only come home at 10:00 and are beginning their night then. Regular daily noises can sound like an earthquake but is just regular living. (Yes, we lived in a basement for 5 years. No, we do not have anyone living in our basement at this point.)

My sister's tenants once complained about a crazy thumping noise that they hear every morning. My sister tried hard to figure out what was going on and realized that her baby was thumping his foot while sitting in his highchair. To the downstairs tenant it sounded like the world was caving in. But this is normal living. She can't and should not have to control that...

This is EXACTLY why I don't hv a tenant.
I would never want the achrayus. I would faster buy a smaller and cheaper house.

amother

Pewter

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 12:37 pm

amother DarkOrange wrote:

You're right, didn't think of it from this angle.
Thought more like little kids playing loudly like spilling or throwing toys, running around...

amother

Brass

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 12:40 pm

amother DarkOrange wrote:

That nuts I’m sorry.

But also people designing these basements should be thinking about this when doing the layouts.

amother

DarkOrange

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 12:45 pm

amother Brass wrote:

That nuts I’m sorry.

But also people designing these basements should be thinking about this when doing the layouts.

Maybe.
But when I lived in a basement and the bedrooms were under the living room and dining room, it was also very difficult especially at night after I put my kids to bed (I had babies, upstairs were teens).
And Shabbos naps were really hard because they davened at a later davening and were starting their meals while we were ready to nap.

My point is that there really is no good place to put bedrooms under a main floor.