Would it bother you at all?

amother

Wed, Feb 07 2024, 7:04 pm

funkyfrummom wrote:

Because names are so important, it actually would bother me, but that's just me-- I would worry about what was going on spiritually, beyond our ability to perceive/recognize. I would speak to a rav who can provide guidance for what is done in your circles and if he says not problem, then there shouldn't be a problem.

My more practical concerns would be appearing to give kavod to the BIL/SIL, who are clearly going against Torah values, and thereby unintentionally offending your in-laws.

The suggestion of doing a double name seems like a reasonable one that might would be an option, because it changing the character of the name.

Although some people don't even connect Hannah with Chana...YOU did-- so it's not like it was off your radar.

What do you mean spiritually?
She is a total non jew, sibling in law is the one who isn't frum. The non jew isn't doing anything wrong....she has no idea it's so bad that he is with her

amother

Azure

Wed, Feb 07 2024, 9:49 pm

Every single name has its own beauty and meaning. There are a million Chana, Yosef and Rochel’s around!! Why do you care if one sil has a similar name? It’s a traditional biblical name; it’s not something so unique that people would automatically think of the association. I really don’t think one has to do with the other!! I believe a mother has a special intuition when it comes to names, and if that’s the name you feel like please don’t hesitate. You can pick another name and then whaddaya know someone awful comes into your life with that same name! Smile

Ema of 5

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 9:11 am

#BestBubby wrote:

Today's generation .

Why care if you cause other pain?

A Godol said don't give a name if it will cause your neighbor pain.

I’m sorry, what? First, I’m not some 20 something year old who doesn’t give a darn about anyone. Second, if you have seen any of my posts here ever, I generally go out of my way to make sure no feelings are hurt. However, baby naming is different. Parents get ruach hakodesh when naming a baby. The baby is already named before the parents even name it, actually. It is named by Hashem before the neshama is sent down to be inside the body that Hashem will miraculously create. One shouldn’t go out of their way to hurt anyone, but it is also ok for parents to name their own child a name that speaks to them.

Also, no gadol was consulted in this case. In the case where one was consulted, it seems to me that was the guidance for their personal situation. The circumstances were different. Unless I was naming after someone, I don’t think I would use the name in that situation either.

Ema of 5

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 9:16 am

amother OP wrote:

I think the story you mentioned it different
I even heard of a child not being in a certain morahs class because she had lost a child with that name (and it was recent)

I don't think my inlaws would think of it as the same name. Besides we would call by a nickname....if we would give the name

If you want to go the extra mile, you can ask your in laws if it’s ok. But then you have to be prepared to use a different name if they are not ok with it.
Personally, I wouldn’t go that thought unless it was an extreme situation, like the one with a neighbor who lost a child, only I would only do that if it was a very close relative, such as a sibling. I would speak to a Rav first and if he said it’s ok to use the name, then I would speak to the sibling. I don’t know at what point though because my husband and I generally don’t discuss names until the baby is born, and I generally don’t find out what I’m having either. So maybe it would be a hypothetical conversation before the baby was born, or a real conversation right after.