I asked about moving many times and finally did it

amother

Mon, Jul 10 2023, 11:13 am

Hi! I haven’t been on ima in a while. I was using it a lot during my last pregnancy and my baby is well over a year.

I started many posts about relocating to various cities and everyone was very helpful so thank you!

Here’s my story if it can be helpful to anyone, I’m trying to remain anon so I’m leaving details hazy.
I moved from Lakewood, from my new construction 6 bedroom home where most of my family and all my friends live in search of a better quality of life. I took all my children (under 10 years old) out of the only city they really knew and out of their schools and we moved to a much smaller city and a much smaller home in hopes of better quality of life.

The main things that made us want to move were
The traffic/congestion
The rat race/ pressures
The lack of privacy and feeling like I wasn’t able to raise my children how I wanted to bec the village was doing it for me.

So here’s how it’s going.. my children had a very easy adjustment which was very surprising to me. They used to be surrounded by friends every afternoon and Shabbos and that’s no longer the case and they are totally ok without it!
I definitely miss my old house but by we did have room in the budget to make our new home beautiful it’s still significantly smaller. Sometimes I appreciate how much less cleaning I do!
It took my husband time to find his place here and there are still days that he complains about it but the pressure in Lakewood was very hard for him specifically and he said as soon as we moved that it felt like a 50 lb weight was lifted.
Overall I’m super grateful and so appreciate that we were given this opportunity, I can’t say that we’ll stay out of town forever but In my children’s formative years it’s a real gift…

amother

Brickred

Sun, Jul 23 2023, 9:38 am

I feel the same way. It's now been a year since I moved from in town and it is such a gift to live here and an even bigger gift for my children to grow up in such a simple, friendly, down to earth environment. I love where I live, my kids 12 and under had an easy adjustment and have tons of friends, and they do normal things like just play. My middle schooler says some kids have name brands and she's surprised, while others are proud off branders. We all walk around in snoods and no makeup. I feel so blessed and I hope my kids raise their kids one day im yirtze hashem in a place just like this.

One thing though, my home is definitely bigger, over 4k square feet, but its sooo old and needs a lot of updating. But it's ok. People here are always doing work, having holes in walls, peeling paint, half done rooms, floorboards ripped up lol and invite people over without batting an eyelash. Seriously the best.

amother

Tue, Jul 25 2023, 1:42 pm

I rather not say where I moved so I remain anon. Think Baltimore type. My home was 700k . Reason we don’t have so many friends is cuz the few frum families on my block and the block around us don’t have kids my kids ages. Within 10 min walk we have 2 or 3 friends each of my kids ages.
I just wanna say I rolled my eyes at “Harry’s” my whole life and I realize it was all sinas chinum and I never appreciated simple people so much in my life!!

amother

Tue, Jul 25 2023, 1:44 pm

amother White wrote:

I’m very happy for you,
One thing surprises me. Your kids no longer have with whom to play in your new neighborhood and are fine with it? Don’t they miss having friends to play with in the afternoon or Shabbos?

The friend situation in Lkwd was chaotic and very overwhelming. I was constantly sending kids home, the door knocking started shag morn at 9 am. Erev shab or erev YT and other stressful times were that much more stressful in my previous life…

amother

Brickred

Tue, Jul 25 2023, 1:48 pm

amother OP wrote:

I moved to a smaller close knit community and the friend situation is better than in town! But not overwhelming. It's really a beautiful thing when everyone knows and looks our for each other.

amother

Bone

Tue, Jul 25 2023, 1:50 pm

OP you are so lucky that your dh was on board with moving.

We live in Flatbush, where we will never be able to afford a house. But dh absolutely refuses to move. His parents moved when he was a child, and he was bullied terribly in his new school. He refuses to risk it with our kids. I understand where he is coming from, but I am terrified for our future and that we will be renting forever.