Household Management 101

psychdoc613

Wed, Sep 27 2023, 11:57 am

I’m about to be a kallah BH! I am not young, getting married later in life (long story), no I won’t say how old but it’s definitely older than you think! BH I am so blessed to have found a wonderful Chosson! Even though I am an older bride and have lived on my own I am realizing I have zero sense of how to setup and run a home. My own mother was not reliable with this and we don’t have an easy relationship now. I wish I had my grandmothers alive because they were masters of homemaking.

I’m BT (not FFB) and BH I am a very good cook but I also have severe ADHD and a full time job with an erratic schedule. Schedules, routines, planning — not my strong suit — but I feel like if I had some “plan” or list of rules I could be better. Like every Sunday is laundry day or meal planning is done on x day or whatever.

I literally need help with some sort of master plan — how do you menu plan for the week? How do you make a budget? How do you develop and maintain a cleaning schedule (with or without help)? What are regular household maintenance things (daily/weekly/monthly) that when done consistently make life feel more manageable? How do you find and hire a good housekeeper/maid?

As a BT, I assume that some of this is maybe learned in Bais Yaakov or seminary (neither of which I attended). I have a fantasy that there is some kind of course (like a home economics class from the 1950s or something) to take or book to read.

I’m sure this maybe sounds nuts but I see how I don’t really have any systems or routines in place for myself as an individual and when I am married BH I will be responsible for more (practically and spiritually) and I want to start off with a good plan and some structure. Any thoughts, tips, advice appreciated!

Share anything you feel is helpful to know as a new bride who is setting up a home and building a life. Thank you!

peace2

Wed, Sep 27 2023, 12:22 pm

I find it really helpful to make a meal plan on motzei shabbos or sunday - I have a whiteboard on the fridge where I write each night's supper, then I check what ingredients I have in the pantry/freezer for those meals and make a shopping list for everything I need. I do a big shopping on Sunday to get everything I need for suppers and to stock basics like snacks, fruit, etc.
Depending on our shabbos plans, sometimes I need to do a quick grocery store trip on Thursday to get a few more things for shabbos, but otherwise, it's one trip to the store and when it's time to make supper, I know exactly what I'm cooking and that I have all the ingredients.
I get chicken from Costco in family packs every few weeks and split the package into smaller bags in the freezer so each bag has amount we eat for a supper/shabbos meal.
Huge time saver to do shopping this way and much more cost effective because I can make one big trip to Aldi (which is a little far out) and stock up for much better prices instead of constantly running to the local stores which are more expensive.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Wed, Sep 27 2023, 12:31 pm

psychdoc613 wrote:

MAZAL TOV!!
If you know how to cook, you are a step ahead!! Your Chassan is a lucky guy. If he cant cook, teaching him is a great couple-activity.

There are online sources for daily tasks, weekly tasks, monthly tasks, etc. For example : https://crm.org/news/to-do-lis.....me%20

What works for me is divide and conquer, some people like a laundry day, I do laundry every time I fill the machine.

Keep a calendar/weekly planner and write your tasks down. Keep your budget there too- what you spend, when you have to pay a bill etc.
Keep a list on the fridge and you and your dh can check off when one of you has done it. Start off by dividing tasks between the two of you.
Once a week sit for a cup of coffee with dh and go over the weekly planner so you coordinate who is doing what.
Keep a Shabbos (and YT) list-
MAZAL TOV again. Good luck!!

SuperWify

Wed, Sep 27 2023, 1:15 pm

SuperWify wrote:

Mazal Tov! How exciting for you!

No, there are no such courses in BY sadly. We all learn on the job and it’s a full time job!

Want to add to my post because a lot of us get married very young, literally walking out of our mothers apron, we really have no clue on how to run a home.

Because you have lived for a long time on your own you are much more experienced naturally you probably just need to structured things better. Like you said, rules.

As far as rules you can make for yourself: If Sundays is your off day use Sunday as your prep day, prepare a dinner menu (which can be the same every week or two) and make a shopping list based off your menu. shop and prep as much as you could on Sunday for the week. This way, when you come from work, you know exactly what you need to do to get dinner up on time. You can also use Monday as your wash day and Tuesday as fold, iron, put away, hangup day. Wednesday could be your deep cleaning day and your menu prep for Shabbos, Thursday cook and shop and Friday clean.

Also take 15 minutes every evening to do a basic cleanup.