Overwhelmed. | Imamother

amother

Wed, Jan 17 2024, 8:15 pm

Queen6 wrote:

Stop calling the teacher so much. Stop taking it so seriously. Do it to the best of your ability. Do it to the best of your daughter’s ability. It’s important to do well in school it’s not that important that your whole night should be chaos. She goes to school every day and learns there it’s just a review. Do a bit and move on. You don’t need so much discussion with the teacher or with your daughter either.

You may have misread. The teacher is calling ME. like 3 times already this yr. And tonight she asked that I call her. This will be the 4th call. And there was a PT conference on top of this. The in class work I get. But half the calls are about HW.

amother

Wed, Jan 17 2024, 8:20 pm

TravelHearter wrote:

Talk to the teacher, explain. But don’t be as intense as some posters are saying…don’t be black and white, aggressive, shut her down, etc. Explain nicely, maybe ask for ideas, tell your daughter you’ll try your best, and move on. Don’t tell her ‘I don’t believe in HW’ or ‘your teacher is crazy’. That does more harm than good. Can your daughter not do any of it on her own?

I never tell my daughter anything negative like that bc I know that will make it worse.

She does a good percentage on her own. She needs a lot of help studying tho, and since there is a quiz every day.... and I'm not sure why, but I was told by the teacher in the beginning of the yr (maybe like 2 months in) to do the HW with her. In the beginning I let her do it on her own. And she came to me when she felt she needed. The teacher said that was a mistake.

ttbtbm

Wed, Jan 17 2024, 9:33 pm

It does sound like a lot. I have some children who need a lot of hand holding with homework so I have been through fourth grade a few times. If your child is struggling while receiving extra support in school and extra help with homework at home it’s time for the teacher to modify things for your daughter.
There were so good suggestions made already but I wanted to tell you that my heart broke when you mentioned that your daughter was in tears when she handed you the note from her teacher. Regardless of what the teacher actually says, please just tell your daughter that she called to tell you how kind, well behaved, respectful, tries so hard…. Or whatever praise she says about her to sandwich the real reason she called. Skip the filling for now.

amother

Wed, Jan 17 2024, 9:46 pm

ttbtbm wrote:

Thank you! My heart broke for her too. I told her not to worry a out it. I promised it would be ok.

She's really the sweetest kid!

I like what you said, about saying she praised her on, xyz.. I'm gonna do that.(still waiting for a call back. ) I was hoping to speak to her before she fell asleep to ease her mind. Oh well.

Thank you for your kind and helpful words.😊

amother

Wed, Jan 17 2024, 10:47 pm

behappy2 wrote:

This teacher has too much time on her hands.

Could be. She's new, no kids.

But I also heard it gets hard in 5th grade, so this is getting them used to it. But... why can't kids be kids? It's not so intense in Israeli schools.

I do understand HW to an extent, but after such long days? In Israel, they don't have as long of days, and HW is not as big of a thing. At least at this age I think. My husband hardly had HW growing up. And short days, my nieces and nephews same thing.

I will also say, the teacher is very nice, and she just wants my daughter to do well. She seems sweet. I'm just overwhelmed in general and this is adding a lot of stress.

amother

Tanzanite

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 10:29 am

I have a daughter in first grade. She is definitely on the bright side of the class, and HW takes MAXIMUM 10 minutes English and Hebrew together.
Her HW is literally this:
Kriyah- about 1/2 page, large font
Chumash- one passuk chazarah
Math one sheet (approx 5 questions) that the kids already did in class, its just a fresh copy
Reading- two easy review sheets

Why is your first grader getting so much HW? Why quizzes???

amother

Tanzanite

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 10:30 am

amother OP wrote:

It gets hard in FIFTH grade so she's preparing in FIRST???

amother

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 10:31 am

amother Tanzanite wrote:

It's my 4th grader.

My 1st grader also has very little HW LOL.

amother

Tanzanite

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 10:35 am

Oooppss!!! Don't know how I missed that.

Well, I have a dd in fourth grade too.

A typical night of HW is
Twice a week mandatory kriyah, twice a week optional kriyah (school Prize program)- parent sits and listens one minute
A few pesukim chazarah, a rashi here and there
About 6 math questions (sometimes needs my help)
Read for 20 minutes

Ema of 5

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 10:40 am

amother Tanzanite wrote:

My second grade daughter has:
Kriah- one fill sheet, 5-6 words per line
Chumash and/or dikduk- usually a worksheet
ELA-one sheet
Math- double sided page

This is every night. She doesn’t usually need help with the actual work, but she does need help with directions, staying focused, etc. So it’s not just 5-10 minutes.
She also has a milim and shorashim quiz every week, usually on about 10-12 words.

amother

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 10:41 am

amother Tanzanite wrote:

😅No problem.

My 4th grader, every night, has kriah, timed for 3 min.
At least 3 quizzes a wk, but sometimes more. Read through the chumash section they did in class, and translation page on occasion.

English is fine! Mostly just read 15 min. Math, And every other night spelling or something.

amother

Peachpuff

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 10:46 am

How are your daughter's skills and vocabulary? Is she progressing at a reasonable pace towards being able to translate fluently, or is she stalled and flailing while the rest of her classmates progress, and the difference becomes more and more apparent?

That would be the important thing that I would want to understand, first and foremost.

You said your daughter is getting resource help and the teacher has expressed "she's not doing well" and is calling persistently. That suggests to me that this is not just a problem of some worksheets being incomplete.

Can the teacher tell you specifically where your daughter is holding with regard to dikduk, kriyah, vocabulary, and overall comprehension? Are there any specific skill or knowledge gaps she can identify?

Does your daughter have a hard time with English also, or just in kodesh?

mha3484

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 10:54 am

amother Peachpuff wrote:

This is a really good point. When I took my oldest for an evaluation many years ago, the Psychologist said they get the biggest number of referrals in 3rd grade. The academic gap starts to really widen and kids who could coast along no longer can. Also the social gap starts to get wider and what was once tolerated is no longer. So it could be worth looking into whether or not she has a real learning issue thats not being addressed.

amother

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 10:58 am

amother Peachpuff wrote:

Hebrew used to be her strongest subject! All 90s, read fine, translates fairly. L
Asthma yr the teacher was not a great fit and threw her off track.

She's on average getting 80s on quizzes. Some were in the 70s which were working on.

I dint mind the phone calls, as I said in my OP I actually appreciate them. And I know what she needs help with.

My post was that I was overwhelmed. That I was upset that there was a note of just "call me" on her HW page, so my daughter came home 8n hysterics bc she thinks she's in trouble, but doesn't know why. She could have emailed me, or called. I ALWAYS answer when she's done that in the past.

My daughter now thins the teacher doesn't like her. That my husband and I will be upset with her.etc. bc no one else got that note.

To clarify. The note is not on an assignment! It was just on a paper where the HW is written down. No context.

I'm also disappointed in the system of having the amount of hw on top of long days at school.