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New User Guide

Welcome to the Imamother Community!

We are so happy to have you join us. In order to help you integrate into our community we have put together this guide to help you learn the ropes.

Here are some things you should know in order to fully appreciate and enjoy Imamother.

Learning the culture:

You are welcome to post your very first post at any time, however it is a good idea for new members to spend a little time just reading and getting a feel for the atmosphere and culture before starting to post. We strongly encourage using your username to post things which are not personal, and reserving amother use only for posts which are private or sensitive. Please feel comfortable posting as much as you want. There are many private user groups which are only accessible to members who have a certain amount of posts.

Imamother discussions often follow a cycle and change styles with time. Often everyone seems to be in a good mood and there is a friendly warm atmosphere, and sometimes there are a lot of controversial topics and arguments. Occasionally we have major controversy or a crisis and all threads seem to be reflecting that. A woman who joins in the middle of a major controversy will have no clue what is going on and will think Imamother is always like this. It is a good idea to browse Imamother for several weeks before forming your final impression.

Amother use:

The posts that are posted by amother are not all written by the same person. Amother is an anonymous mask that you can use to post private things. Each person who posts as amother in a thread is assigned a color that is their own for that thread only. This allows you to keep track of who said what in a thread with multiple amothers posting. When posting as amother in a different thread each person gets a new color assigned to them. Amother should not be used to attack another poster. Please do not use amother to post things which are not private or personal. If you want to post something anonymously that is not obviously private, please mention briefly your reason for anonymity in order to avoid criticism for over-use of amother. To post anonymously, just click yes where it asks you "post anonymously?" under your message, before posting.


If you see a post or thread that seems offensive, inappropriate, or has devolved into fighting, please report it. Don't assume that someone else has already done so unless you see a red flag by the post. The moderators cannot possibly read every post and we rely on user reports to direct our attention where it is needed. When a mod gets a report she will decide how to handle it; whether it will be edited, deleted, or if a message needs to be posted. At times an entire thread may be removed to a hidden section so that Yael or a mod can review the content. Please be patient while it gets reviewed. At times the thread may be edited before being put back or not replaced at all.

Common mistakes by newcomers:

When you post a new topic in the forum of your choice, every member of Imamother can see it instantly on the home page, in the recent topics section. An exception is when you post in a private group, then only members of that group can see the thread in recent topics. Do not post the same post twice in 2 different forums thinking that different women see different forums. Occasionally a newcomer will post the same thing over and over and it becomes very irritating for our members to see the same exact post over and over. Sometimes newcomers do a search for old threads discussing a specific topic and then respond to each of those threads with new and interesting information. The first time you post the information it is appreciated. Every identical post after that is, once again, annoying.

Another common newcomer mistake is bumping up an old thread. Before replying to a thread it would be wise to check the date on the original post (OP). It is usually unhelpful to post on a very old thread. We assume that the original poster (OP) has already figured out what to do by now. Occasionally, answering an old post with new information, or asking the OP what happened in the end, is helpful. Please use your discretion to decide.

The hug button is a powerful tool to give and receive support when needed. Sometimes the hug button is used to indicate "I love what you said" in the way a friendly and excited hug is given in real life. Please do not use the hug button to indicate dislike or "I feel bad for you, you misguided fool." That would be abusing a helpful and much needed feature. Sometimes the hug button is pressed accidentally when scrolling on a phone. Any hugs that don't make sense should be assumed to be accidental.

Posting contact info:

For your own protection, never post your email address or your phone number. Contact between members should go through private messages. Never pm anyone about intimacy. If you get a message asking about intimacy or anything that makes you uncomfortable, contact Yael immediately. The only time you may post your contact info is when two women going through a similar scenario, such as a child with a health condition, want to get in touch without revealing their screen name. In that situation you may post an anonymous email address so that the other woman can contact you there.


To view all threads in a certain category click on List of Forums and you will see a very long list of all the forums we have available. By clicking on the name of the forum you will be able to read all threads on that topic. We also have some private forums that are not visible. You will learn about them as you become familiar with Imamother.

You have the ability to customize what you see on Imamother. If you click the preferences tab you can choose to hide whole categories of topics from your searches and recent topics. This is helpful if you find yourself triggered by sensitive topics or want to limit your exposure to certain topics.

Our members are all English speaking, but English is not necessarily everyone's first language. Please post in English and translate Hebrew and Yiddish terms if asked to do so. It is considered rude to comment about another woman's grammar or spelling mistakes.


Your posts are identifiable to other members only by your username. Your email address is not shared. The information you shared with Yael in your questionnaire is kept confidential. When you post as amother, the only person who knows who really wrote that post, is Yael. Your privacy is taken very seriously. Yael is extremely discreet and will never share any information she knows with anyone, ever. Typically Yael does not check who wrote which amother post, unless she feels there is a good reason to do so.

Halachic Disclaimer:

The posts on Imamother are written by a very varied group of women with different views and hashkafos. Please don't take any comments or answers as a P'sak Halacha. Please ask your own Rav to find out which opinion you should go by. Never change your custom or minhag based on what an Imamother member has told you. You must verify in real life with your own Rav or trusted advisor what you should do.

Medical Disclaimer:

The posts on Imamother are intended for educational and informative purposes only. Although we do have some health care professionals on Imamother you cannot assume that any advice given was given by a health care professional. All medical advice is for educational purposes only and should be verified with a doctor before deciding how to proceed.

If you have a question about how to use Imamother please refer to our help section or ask the other members of Imamother by posting in the Questions, Comments and Feedback section. If you still need help Yael is always available to help you navigate your way around Imamother. You may pm or email Yael.