Things I never thought I'd need to say...

Cookie Monster ↓

Sun, Mar 06 2016, 6:56 pm

morningsickness wrote:

No you cannot have cholent for breakfast! (said on a weekday)

DD, you may not tell DS that he's not a "big girlie/shabbos abba/ birthday boy". it's not nice!

You are driving me up the wall!

do you need the toilet?! why are you saying you don't, I can see that you do!

3 yr old dd asked when are we gonna have another baby. I can't believe I told her :"we will daven to hashem and then he"ll give us a baby..."

How about, " I know you don't actually need to use the toilet but can you just do me a favor and go?"

↑ the world's best mom

Mon, Mar 07 2016, 9:02 am

No, you may not do your homework tonight. Sorry. (Said when dd took out her homework at bedtime, having denied having any homework when I asked her earlier.)

zaq

Mon, Mar 07 2016, 4:14 pm

"I am overwhelmed by this great honor and would like to thank the Academy along with everyone who helped me reach this milestone: my parents for not insisting that I study accounting; my spouse for always believing in me; my coaches for making me believe in me; my director for making me the best I could be; everyone who voted for me; and, of course, the viewers who make it all worthwhile. Thank you all!"

↑ Zehava ↓

Mon, Mar 07 2016, 4:56 pm

If you eat another three spoons of soup you can flush the rest down the toilet

PassionFruit ↓

Mon, Mar 07 2016, 6:39 pm

you want pretzels for dinner? I guess that's not worse than noodles. Ok.

↑ PassionFruit

Mon, Mar 07 2016, 6:45 pm

Child: Mommy what are you doing in the bathroom for so long?
Mommy: I'm pretty upset about how dinner got smooshed into the couch, so I am calming down for a few minutes.
Child: Baby just took all your make up and ate it and drew it on your bed
Mommy: Ok, enough calming down!!! Here I come!!!

↑ debsey ↓

Mon, Mar 07 2016, 8:57 pm

You can't EAT crazybones.
(in response to DS who wants his M"M to his friends to consist of crazybones only)

Chayalle ↓

Mon, Mar 07 2016, 9:05 pm

debsey wrote:

You can't EAT crazybones.
(in response to DS who wants his M"M to his friends to consist of crazybones only)

Just heard the word crazybones for the first time tonight and here I read about it on imamother! The kid my DH tutors wants them. Well! You can't eat them! Gonna tell DH!

mommyla ↓

Mon, Mar 07 2016, 9:48 pm

Chayalle wrote:

Just heard the word crazybones for the first time tonight and here I read about it on imamother! The kid my DH tutors wants them. Well! You can't eat them! Gonna tell DH!

It's obvious that you don't have boys Very Happy

They were "in" a few years ago and now my son is into them too, seems like they're the new fad again. You can get them at the toy stores, they're about $0.10 apiece and come in packs.

↑ debsey ↓

Mon, Mar 07 2016, 10:32 pm

Chayalle wrote:

Just heard the word crazybones for the first time tonight and here I read about it on imamother! The kid my DH tutors wants them. Well! You can't eat them! Gonna tell DH!

Welcome to boy world, Chayalle.......

Ashrei

Mon, Mar 07 2016, 10:41 pm

"NO FOOD IN YOUR ROOM. IF YOU EAT IN YOUR BED, IT WILL MAKE CRUMBS, AND YOU WILL GET ANTS.

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!?!?!

ANTS CRAWLING ALL OVER YOU WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPING?!?!" said to 3 yo DD. Caps intentional.

I repeated this to my friend on the phone later that night, lamenting how I traumatized my daughter. She said, "Don't worry. She was probably just thinking, "oh gee Mommy's loosing her mind again."

↑ debsey

Mon, Mar 07 2016, 10:43 pm

Ashrei wrote:

....cuz that thought's not traumatic at all......She is probably thinking - is my Mommy still talking? Because I want to finish my food.

↑ animeme

Mon, Mar 07 2016, 10:50 pm

When dd was in first grade, she made a mother's day project in school. It had, "I love Ima because..." and "my mother always says..." My kid wrote, "My mother always says, 'Don't eat in the playroom or we'll get mice.' " Nice inspirational thought.

↑ morningsickness ↓

Tue, Mar 08 2016, 12:10 pm

When you become a mommy you can go to sleep late/eat on your bed/ have as many candies as you want...right now though, I'm your mommy!

No, we don't keep the veggie basket in the bathroom...

↑ morningsickness

Tue, Mar 08 2016, 12:12 pm

Sorry ds, you can't dress up as a kallah. you can be a chassan though...

FranticFrummie

Tue, Mar 08 2016, 12:45 pm

"You have plagues! I see that! It's not time for plagues right now, can you put them back? Yes, I see you have boils. Yes, I see you have death too. That's nice honey, but you need to put them back now. We'll have plagues another time. OK?"

DD, 2 years old, getting into the Pesach cabinet and bringing me the hand puppets. LOL

sourstix

Mon, Mar 14 2016, 9:56 pm

this thread is so funny I literally was laughing so hard I almost woke my kids and it was so good to laugh for so long. my oh my was this a good laugh. please keep it going.

most of the things I wanted to write was written already. thanks everyone for this moment of humor. thanks again. really appreciate it.