Who are you | Imamother

DVOM

Mon, Oct 28 2019, 5:25 pm

I am struggling to answer the question.

I'm a wife. I'm a mom of 4 (not so little anymore!) boys. I live in Lakewood. We don't always get along, me and Lakewood. I'm a daughter and a sister, and both those roles are a joy and a struggle. I'm an enthusiastic hostess. I have a little house that I love, a neighborhood I feel I belong in more and more with each passing year. I have a job that loves me and that I appreciate and value but love less with each passing year. I have had an uneventful, undramatic, straightforward, lovely little life.

But!

The world inside my head and heart is huge. I love my husband. I know that I'm an avarage looking woman, middle aged, nothing special. But in the privacy of my own home I'm a queen, the leading lady in a love story that's heartbreakingly beautiful. There's mystery, and fireworks, and passion, and the kind of conflict that only exists when the stakes are so high. I love my kids. It's huge. It's a love that brings me to tears at the oddest moments, that makes me feel brave and strong and able, that makes me feel vulnerable and fall-to-my-knees weak. I have clients who let me into thier lives and I bare witness to struggles that make my stumach turn and triumphs that literally lift me off my feet, cheering. I have neighbors and friends who can count on me for sugar, an egg, a place for their kids to spend the afternoon, a safe person to vent to, knowing they will find acceptance. I revel in being able to count on them too, being accepted for who I am, letting them see me, more and more as I grow up and into myself: colorful, beautiful, and wise, scared, lonely, and sad, brave, persistent, trying hard. I find my value in being valuable to these few people and in being seen. It's a little life, but it's mine, and it's precious. That's who I am.

None of this answers your question though. I don't fit comfortably into any religous demographic. It's ok. I'm trying hard to look for what His will for me is in all these different roles that I've been blessed with. And that's it.

amother

Copper

Mon, Oct 28 2019, 8:37 pm

DVOM wrote:

Wish I was your neighbor. I love your posts and have always wanted to meet you. But I’m not creative or intellectual - I just love how warm you are.

amother

Sienna

Tue, Oct 29 2019, 3:55 pm

Chassidish with heimishe/yeshivish upbringing, BY education.
Very right wing- no driving, beige tights, girls wear tights from 3, only heimishe hechsherim and other kashrus stringencies.
I have computer at work and iPhone for work with strong filter, no choice. Would give it all up in a minute if could.
I've come to imamother more and more recently due to the lack of real social life and the very strong need to socialize.
Work full time in corporate environment for many years, although most others in my circles and family are either in chinuch or not working so can't relate to schedule etc.