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amother
Slategray
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 Sun, Nov 01 2020, 5:30 pm
That was never part of my calculations. I am 5'7" and my husband is shorter than me. (I know the horror!  ) Our kids are average.
It will balance itself out anyway. Or not. And it will be fine anyway.
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amother
Powderblue
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Sun, Nov 01 2020, 6:25 pm
delete
Last edited by amother on Thu, Nov 05 2020, 2:10 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Aquamarine
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Sun, Nov 01 2020, 6:30 pm
I would encourage my kids to marry someone they can respect, love and be happy with. If age, looks, height, weight and blood type matter to them, they should look for that; if it doesn't, then they don't need to worry about it. I am happy to say that for the most part these things didn't weigh with them within reason. They weren't interested in women five years older AND six inches taller than they are, for which you can't blame a young man in his early 20s. But two years older and three inches taller they'd consider if all else sounded good.
OP--YOU'RE not into women being taller than their husbands? Who's getting married here--you or your kids? My philosophy re: shidduchim is the same as my philosophy re: child rearing, to wit: My job is to teach what I can and then set them free. If they ask my opinion I'll give it without trying to make them accept it. It's their life, their priorities, their marriage. My parents didn't pressure me one way or another and I extend to my children the same courtesy. My role in shidduchim was to ask the questions that my children felt were important, to write down the answers and to convey them to the child in question, not to decide whose resume I'm going to let my dc see. Resumes went straight to the dc in question, who would review them and give me back the ones that were of interest for me to follow up on.
Good character carries the day. You want tall, buy a ladder.
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ExtraCredit
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Sun, Nov 01 2020, 6:41 pm
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It wouldn’t be a factor unless if they’re exceptionally short (4’7”) or exceptionally tall (6’7”). Otherwise I probably wouldn’t care. As long as everything else adds up!
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LovesHashem
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Sun, Nov 01 2020, 6:50 pm
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I'm not short but I know of families that are short. I wonder how it works if the man always marries a shorter girl will their descendants keep on getting shorter and shorter?
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amother
Lawngreen
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Sun, Nov 01 2020, 6:55 pm
Um, I hope you don't mind me saying, this seems a bit superficial and petty?
I'm 5'1
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DVOM
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Sun, Nov 01 2020, 6:57 pm
This is a very strange thread.
My husband is a drop shorter than me. Who cares? We're a beautiful couple.
I will not be looking for short or tall women for my sons. Seriously, is this really a thing?
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amother
Goldenrod
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Sun, Nov 01 2020, 6:58 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | For those who have short kids/short genes in the family, would you encourage your kids to marry taller spouses? I don’t mean it has to be number 1 on your list and that you won’t consider someone on the shorter side, but would it be at all a factor when looking into potential mates for your children? I am almost 5’3 and my husband around 5’6. We are of the taller ones in our families. So our children have very short genes potentially.. they’re still growing but at this point I’ll be happy if they even reach close to our heights. The thing is I kind of feel like when you put two short people together you’re really not giving your kids a chance at being at least average height. I don’t think it will top the list of most important things in shiduchim but it does feel important to me to try to choose dates who are taller. For sure for my daughter... and for my sons, while I’m not into women being taller than their husbands, I’d try to look for girls who at least aren’t super short. Just to mix and match the genes a bit. |
I think even considering height as a factor in shidduchim for this reason is ridiculous.
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amother
Dodgerblue
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Sun, Nov 01 2020, 7:01 pm
Anyone want my 5'9" large boned/broad daughter for their son? Or do we just want 5'11"+ guys for our short daughters and 5'5" girls for our 5'6" sons?
My DD is beautiful, has impeccable middot and is a bas chessed, but she is written off because she is too tall and not a size 2.
Just as OP said, she wants the tall guys for her DDs but she is not into girls being taller than her sons.
The right one is out there for her, but it is still insulting
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PeanutMama
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Sun, Nov 01 2020, 7:15 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | I know some very short girls who married very tall boys. Pretty sure they were just a good match! |
Yup. That’s me and my husband!! I guess I stole a good one 
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amother
cornflower
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Sun, Nov 01 2020, 7:19 pm
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It doesn’t guarantee anything frankly. My parents were 5’7” and 6’2”. I’m 5’8” and my husband 6 feet. Half of our 8 children are below average height.
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amother
Lawngreen
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Sun, Nov 01 2020, 7:23 pm
Um, I hope you don't mind me saying, this seems a bit superficial and petty?
I'm 5'1
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Reality
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Sun, Nov 01 2020, 7:24 pm
There's a limit to how much control a parent has in their child's shidduch opportunities. For a parent not to look into a potential match because of their height is terribly short sighted.
If it is coming from the boy or girl that is a different story. People are allowed to have preferences. I am a taller person and very much wanted to marry someone tall. I did. But I would have gone out with my husband if he was a few inches shorter. If he was my height I'm not so sure. Shorter I wouldn't have.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Nov 01 2020, 7:30 pm
| amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote: | Um, I hope you don't mind me saying, this seems a bit superficial and petty?
I'm 5'1 |
I don’t mind you saying it, even twice.
I’m going to assume you are on a very high level and not at all superficial about anything.
Me, I’m just human.
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Rappel
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Sun, Nov 01 2020, 7:30 pm
| amother [ Lemon ] wrote: | | I am tall (5’9) and I had several shortish/average guys interested in me because they wanted to have tall genes for their kids. One guy told me his mom is short and “short moms make short boys” and he didn’t want to put his own kids through that. |
Oh my! 
Funny story: DH is 5'11", I'm 5'4". When we were dating, it took months for him to discover that we weren't the same height. He was certain from the way that I carried myself that I was at least his height or taller. It's not all about the inches, OP!
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amother
Chartreuse
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Sun, Nov 01 2020, 8:11 pm
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When ds1who is 6'2" was in shidduchim he asked dd1 if it would look funny if he married a girl 5'2". Would they look silly together. DD assured him it woud be fine and not to worry about height. Ddil is 5'3" I think.
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amother
Puce
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Sun, Nov 01 2020, 8:39 pm
I never knew it's a thing. Neither did I ever hear people discussing it.
I have to 2 short-ish sisters who married a tall spouse, both have average to tall kids.
Many take after grandparents. My mom is tall and my dad is short. my youngest brother grew over my mom, he's a 6 footer. Plenty of my nieces and nephews, with average or even short parents, are to the taller side.
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amother
Scarlet
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Sun, Nov 01 2020, 10:44 pm
| amother [ Dodgerblue ] wrote: | Anyone want my 5'9" large boned/broad daughter for their son? Or do we just want 5'11"+ guys for our short daughters and 5'5" girls for our 5'6" sons?
My DD is beautiful, has impeccable middot and is a bas chessed, but she is written off because she is too tall and not a size 2.
Just as OP said, she wants the tall guys for her DDs but she is not into girls being taller than her sons.
The right one is out there for her, but it is still insulting |
What? I'm almost 5'10 and did not find it a hindrance with shidduchim at all. I think being tall is beautiful.
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amother
Sienna
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Sun, Nov 01 2020, 10:58 pm
I don't think it's appropriate for you to tell your children what physical attributes the person they have sez with should have
It's none of your business. If they want tall, they will choose tall.
And I'm 5'7 and always wished I was shorter.
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amother
Azure
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Sun, Nov 01 2020, 11:18 pm
Its an interesting question. How much does the frum veldt think of shidduchim in terms of breeding vs finding a partner? I know it may sound crass to call it breeding but if I am honest, in my opinion, it is what it is.
But lifestyle/ nutrition also plays into height. As well as weird recessive genes. I know dad 5'7, mom 5'2, son, yes their own, 6'0, daughter 5'8.
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