S/O would you encourage your short kids to marry taller?

Iymnok

Mon, Nov 02 2020, 12:07 am

I had a friend who was 5'2, her husband is 7'2. It works just fine for them. He gets insulted if the climbs up to get something from the top shelf.
I’m just under 5'1. My brother is 6'2. My baby sister is 5'6 or so.
Height is a really minor issue. Don’t play the genes game, unless it’s the middos gene.

amother

Taupe

Mon, Nov 02 2020, 12:12 am

amother [ Copper ] wrote:

And keep in mind if you grab a tall guy for a short girl, a lot of tall girls would feel like you’re “stealing” one of their few options..

No joke! A tall girl in my grade told me, at my vort, omg why do the short girls steal all the tall boys? I told her, honey, he ain't for you anyway! (She was looking for a very different kind of boy)

Im 5'2" and my husband is 6'2"-6'3". I dated short and average boys too. I wasn't particular about height, but happens to be, the one I married is tall!

essie14

Mon, Nov 02 2020, 12:21 am

If you're already "encouraging" your children to pick a life partner based on superficial aspects, why not encourage they choose wealth?
{{Sarcasm}}

tichellady

Mon, Nov 02 2020, 12:22 am

Teomima wrote:

What? No! What's with all this obsession over height lately?

With all the things there are to consider about a potential life partner and parent to one's future children, something as superficial as their height really shouldn't be a deciding factor.

This

mandksima

Mon, Nov 02 2020, 4:10 am

imasoftov wrote:

In Sodom, they knew how to make sure everyone was the same height.

That's the best comment!

amother

Brown

Mon, Nov 02 2020, 4:40 am

amother [ Copper ] wrote:

Nope. Not even a little bit.

And keep in mind if you grab a tall guy for a short girl, a lot of tall girls would feel like you’re “stealing” one of their few options.

I’m pushing 40 at 5’1” and cannot think of a single time in my life that my height has affected me in a negative way.

I married a man over a foot taller than I, and was rebuked on more than one occasion for having the nerve to take a tall guy when there were tall girls without enough options. I don’t understand why people make such a big deal about height. People are more than their size.

amother

Mon, Nov 02 2020, 4:50 am

essie14 wrote:

If you're already "encouraging" your children to pick a life partner based on superficial aspects, why not encourage they choose wealth?
{{Sarcasm}}

In the real world, many do. Not on imamother where everyone is above all that.

amother

Smokey

Mon, Nov 02 2020, 4:59 am

I totally get how if your life has been effected by being short you want “better” for your kids. However try to remind yourself it’s your issue and don’t push any physical limits on shidduchim if they aren’t coming from you kids. I do plan to try to breed out the ADHD in my family. It’s a strong “gene” we have and I’m not looking forward to being a Bubbi for a ton of super wild kids.

amother

Ruby

Mon, Nov 02 2020, 5:16 am

Maybe its a side effect of being just above average height (5 5) but I really never think about this and think the obsession with height is weird and singles who say they won't marry someone taller or shorter are just being superficial.

I actually have a friend who is tall and beautiful who I always kind of thought of as a somewhat shallow person. I gained a ton of respect for her when she married a lovely guy who is much shorter then her.

shirachadasha

Mon, Nov 02 2020, 5:34 am

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

I'm very tall and didn't want to marry someone shorter than me. I wouldn't say no to a shidduch because of it, but I didn't want to look like that mismatched couple. I think being around the same height is good; you don't want to always have to look up/ down at your spouse. Being around the same height is just more aesthetically pleasing.

As other posters said, if your child has a preference when it comes to appearance of their shidduch, do your best to accommodate. But I disagree with the bolded. How the marriage looks to others shouldn't be a factor.

amother

Tan

Mon, Nov 02 2020, 6:07 am

You're not breeding race horses here. What if you encourage your short child to marry someone tall and their sons get the short genes while the daughters get the tall ones?

FranticFrummie

Mon, Nov 02 2020, 6:38 am

Someone please tell me that the OP is posting from Chelm. Can't Believe It

The only criteria I want for my child, is that they marry someone they love.

The rest is commentary.

amother

Lemon

Mon, Nov 02 2020, 6:53 am

amother [ Tan ] wrote:

You're not breeding race horses here. What if you encourage your short child to marry someone tall and their sons get the short genes while the daughters get the tall ones?

This seems to be pretty common. A lot of short mothers have tall daughters because the father is tall.
ETA: I am one of them. I’m 7 inches taller than my mother. My father is tall. My brothers are a mix of heights.

amother

Wheat

Mon, Nov 02 2020, 7:16 am

Genetic are weird, so there's no guarantee. My parents are about the same height, both 5'6". That makes my mother about average, maybe even a little tall, and my father short. Well, my father is not the only one who's short, his sisters all are too, not a single one of them above 5'. I take after my aunts, I'm 4'11". My husband is a foot taller than me, which I think qualifies as average, if not a drop tall. Kids are all about average height so far. And yes, I've gotten comments about "stealing" a tall guy from all the taller girls who supposedly "need" it Rolling Eyes

amother

Cerise

Mon, Nov 02 2020, 12:42 pm

amother [ Natural ] wrote:

I have to say this made me laugh.
Both my parents measured 5'11''
I am 5'5''. My husband is 5'10''
And my beautiful teenage daughter has finally reached 5'2''. Oh, and my 17 yr old son is 5'7''.
Genetics can be tricky! They seem to have worked in reverse order in my blood line!

Similar here - I am 5'6", DH is 5'11" and my daughters are 5'2", 5'0", and 5'5" respectively. It's all Yad Hashem and no complaints here. B"H they are healthy.

amother

Red

Mon, Nov 02 2020, 12:49 pm

amother [ Tan ] wrote:

You're not breeding race horses here. What if you encourage your short child to marry someone tall and their sons get the short genes while the daughters get the tall ones?

That's not how it works. Most short people are short because of an underlying issue either nutrionally or due to a pituitary gland problem. It's not normal to be 5'3 that means a woman did not meet her potential.

amother

Red

Mon, Nov 02 2020, 12:51 pm

amother [ Cerise ] wrote:

Similar here - I am 5'6", DH is 5'11" and my daughters are 5'2", 5'0", and 5'5" respectively. It's all Yad Hashem and no complaints here. B"H they are healthy.

I don't know how old they are but you should likely look into why. There is definitely a reason why two average parents who likely reached their potential have children who did not. And you may want to know to be prepared for your grandkids sake.

amother

Cerise

Mon, Nov 02 2020, 1:04 pm

amother [ Red ] wrote:

Thanks, we've seen pediatricians regularly over the years. DH's family is very short, he's the odd one out. That's the likeliest reason.

amother

Tan

Mon, Nov 02 2020, 1:07 pm

amother [ Red ] wrote:

Not necessarily. 5'3 is shorter than average in the United States, but not off the charts. Not by a long shot. A lot of factors go into someone's final height.