Who are you | Imamother

Zehava

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:52 pm

Someone recently asked me how I can have all kinds of people over at my house, MO, OTD, whatever... am I not afraid my kids will go OTD.
So I said “you know what will drive kids otd? Trauma, abuse, neglect... you know what will not? Seeing someone who looks different than they do...”
so she then says “well zehava you don’t see people’s affiliations, colors, or religions, only their hearts and souls... but I am not like that, so I gotta be careful”

amother

Seafoam

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:52 pm

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

Would you "let" your kids marry mine? (Chassidish here) I feel that sometimes the attitude of being better than the other goes both ways. I sometimes get the feeling that certain MO folks look down at me for being Chassidish aka fanatic.

Same here.
But less in real life.
I have MO friends at swimming lessons and we have a good time together watching our kids swim. They’re so nice and friendly!
But marrying each other wouldn’t make sense.
They would be equally uninterested in my fanatic fam.

amother

Babyblue

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:57 pm

Zehava, and I guess thunderstorm too, if you claim to be identical Wink

, I would love to have you as my friends!
I feel that no one IRL has gone through anything remotely as traumatizing as me. My friends lead simple, straightforward lives, with regular challenges. I feel like they lack the depth, maturity and "realness" that comes from braving crazy situations.
I'm posting anon here, but you know me from the private forum

Raisin

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 4:57 pm

I am also a Chabad Shlucha. I live in Nowheresville, Europe. (Well, its a well known European city, just not for its huge Jewish community)

Zehava

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 5:01 pm

amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:

Zehava, and I guess thunderstorm too, if you claim to be identical Wink

You’d be surprised how many simple straightforward people/friends have opened up to me about their own trauma. You’d never guess when you see them. Or me for that matter. Actually someone who has known me for a while, when we were discussing emotional vs unemotional people put me in the unemotional category. Lol.

amother

Babyblue

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 5:01 pm

Zehava wrote:

Had such a story last night. My girls were invited to a neighbor's bat mitzvah. We're Chassidish, and neighbors are gasp! Sefardi!
My other Chassidish neighbor would not let her daughter step into their house, for fear of.... I have no clue What

. They are warm, erlich friendly people, and I love them as neighbors! My dds really enjoyed the event, and I was happy to expose them to a variety of wholesome, kind Yidden!

amother

Amethyst

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 5:17 pm

MnM1130 wrote:

You can't base marriage as an acceptance. If you have different values and beliefs than others you don't want your children marrying eachother.. That's just a recipe for a disaster.
And when someone's child goes MO, chassidish, not religious - it's just a shock for a parent that their child chose a diff way. Some are obviously worse than others but when a child veers from an upbringing it's hard for a parent regardless which way they veer to. You sound very hurt by people /someone and Noone is really judging or cares. As long as you feel like your learning what's proper and right and trying your best to perform accordingly I would t worry so much about anyone else in the world. Everyone has different jobs in this earth and no 2 people are alike.

Yes. My dd became way more right wing and it was a tough road of acceptance. Bh I learnt to love her for who she is

amother

Royalblue

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 5:25 pm

I'm Lubavitch. Grew up OOT with BT parents, lived in CH for many years.

I'm more RW religiously, I lean left politically. We are pretty strict with tznius, kashrus etc. I try to daven every day and say Chitas.

I like reading and learning about all sorts of things. I didn't grow up with TV but I did grow up going to the library and reading newspapers and having awareness and openness to the world around me.

I use the internet and watch video clips and occasional movies although I think I've seen all the movies that interest me. Sometimes I check Amazon Prime and literally can find nothing that attracts my attention. I guess that particular yetzer hara has attenuated over the years. I let my kids watch certain things too but some of my kids are frummer and are horrified by the tumah I allow into the house!

amother

Navy

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 5:37 pm

Zehava wrote:

Who am I?
Let’s see
At my core I am full of light, love, empathy, purity, and healing energy.

Layered on top of that is loads of darkness comprised of pain, fear, anger, and longing

On top of that is an entire system of coping mechanisms and defense mechanisms, including mostly fight and flight, with some freeze mixed in. Dissociation, Passive aggression, dark humor, the works.

Then there’s the layer people see. Dressed appropriately but not very pretty or trendy. Slightly socially awkward but not enough to pay any attention to. Mostly silent through small talk, but I wake up when actual interesting subjects are brought up. Not many people see me though since I spend most of my time at home.

Zehava,
That was just beautiful and so real!

I envy your self awareness.

amother

Beige

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 5:48 pm

Shame, I thought this would be one of those threads that was profound!

But alas I open it and its yet another post that focuses on belonging rather than beleiving. We've become so shallow, its so sad. Sad

Do we really all have to have a 'type'? What if I don't identify myself by what I wear, which chumras I keep, and who I hang out with. What if my self-identity goes way beyond that? ...

My connection with Hashem, my life experiences, my thought processes, my challenges and achievements, my strength and commitments, my constant desire to grow. Does that count? That is what would come to mind if someone asked 'Who are you'

amother

Royalblue

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 5:52 pm

amother [ Beige ] wrote:

Shame that instead of giving a profound answer you chose to give a shallow, degrading answer.

amother

Beige

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 5:58 pm

Sorry, I wasnt trying to bash, I guess I was really thrown off by the title. If the thread was called ''What is your affiliation'' or ''Which Jewish group do you identify with'' I wouldnt have felt any need to comment.

To me, the question of 'Who are you' should run much deeper, thats all...

Surrendered

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 6:23 pm

I am ME. I come on here to unwind, relax, vent, give my humble opinion and advice from my experience to those who are interested (who IRL cares about my opinions), and I use it as an Incentive to finish tasks.
I live my life humbly, I enjoy helping people, trying to help out in any way I can, as long as it doesn't go on my family's account. I do what I feel is right for me, regardless of what others think I should do.
I teach my kids not to judge anyone and that were all holy jews, regardless of how people dress. We're all here for the same purpose- the Serve Hashem. Everyone is special in their own way. Who are we to judge, we have no clue what people are going through in life...
I Love you all!!! I feel like we're all good friends.

amother

Cerulean

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 6:35 pm

I always wanted to take a poll on here - see what "type" everyone is. I sort of know it would never work. Everyone would bash me and be upset that we have to put ourselves in a box, and everyone would be complaining that they don't really fit into a type (I'm a bit litvish, but leaning more to MO...).
But it's still cute to read through this thread - I love seeing how women from all different backgrounds can come together! Thats what I love about this forum.

As for me, I'm litvish, live in Lakewood, husband learning, etc. Considered a pretty average Lakewooder. Yeah, I know that's a bit boring Smile

I wonder how many others on this forum are like me. Most of my friends have never heard of imamother.

amother

Seafoam

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 6:40 pm

amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:

I wonder how many others on this forum are like me. Most of my friends have never heard of imamother.

I wanted to press ‘like’ on your post a few times but it only works once! :-)
Thank you!

amother

Olive

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 6:47 pm

amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:

I wonder how many others on this forum are like me. Most of my friends have never heard of imamother.

Youre just like me Smile

BUT your friends DID hear of imamother...they just wont admit it...like me lol

amother

Brown

Sun, Oct 27 2019, 6:55 pm

amother [ Beige ] wrote:

Perhaps it is what you learn and who inspires you.