Munkatch school | Imamother

amother

Chocolate

Thu, Jul 23 2020, 11:15 am

thunderstorm wrote:

YES!!! I’m not really Chasidish but my DH wears a chasidish levush. I thought we would end up more Chasidish when I got married but we are not.
I went through so much pain getting my boys into the various schools in Monsey that I’m dreading applying for my daughter next year. Im considering Bnos Leah Prospect Park and I’m hoping they won’t judge us that my DH wears a shtreimel. I’m done with applying to Chasidish schools in Monsey. I don’t want to even start with them and my DH doesn’t want me to either. My daughter will end up going to a school that is more left than we are at home. But that’s the consequence of not having neutral options here in Monsey.

I wish you loads of luck with schools!!! The non chassidish schools don't really accept shtreimels. Bnos Leah is a great school, they do accept shtreimel wearing fathers. I wonder if Bas Mikrah and Chofetz Chaim are still accepting chassidish kids.

amother

Pumpkin

Thu, Jul 23 2020, 11:16 am

First Lady wrote:

But that's the issue with Monsey. A BYBP would not be accepted here. It would go into the category as cool.
If BDY would have opened in BP they would have been a very accepted and great school.

It wasn't like BYBP, the problem with BDY was that it was a free for all. BYBP has rules and BDY had almost none, until they realized what kind of people they're attracting because of this so they changed course.

amother

Wheat

Thu, Jul 23 2020, 11:17 am

To those saying this problem exists only in Monsey have no fear, you're not alone. Ever heard of Lakewood's school gripes?
Boro park schools had lots of elitism and issues too but I think that since so many moved away and schools are emptier, it's a little easier to get in(but I may be wrong, I'm not in Bp anymore).

I wish we can rewind the times where everyone wasn't separated into so many neat little boxes. Even the term "typical Bp neutral" is a box.
Kids need to learn how to go to school with kids of all backgrounds and hashkafos and parents need to give a little stronger chinuch.
When my Mom went to school back in the day (Williamsburg) there were kids from ALL types of families some not even fully shomer shabbos. Guess what? They survived. They were stronger for it. Today that concept doesn't exist. It's sad.

amother

Pumpkin

Thu, Jul 23 2020, 11:18 am

thunderstorm wrote:

I think you would do well with Kesser BY. It's similar to the way Bais rochel used to be and I'm not getting an elitist attitude from the people who send there. It might be worth a shot.

amother

Purple

Thu, Jul 23 2020, 11:21 am

amother [ Wheat ] wrote:

It was a different world then, schools didn't have as strong an influence as they do now. I know many very frum people that went to public school too.

As far a BP school being hard to get into, they still are and many of them still consider themselves elite, but BP has alot of school across the spectrum that most people can find a place. Not the case with Monsey.

amother

Honeydew

Thu, Jul 23 2020, 11:27 am

I just want to say I'm very touched by this thread.
As mentioned I have my girls in BDY and bh they're great girls (and so are many others bh) and I cringed at first seeing that there will be a thread discussing BDY because people can be so judgemental that it hurts especially when it's not true for me and many wonderful people there. But nobody has been anything but nice and supportive on this particular thread. It gives me hope.
Especially now in the 9 days when we mourn what we don't have which was destroyed due to Sinas Chinam.
So I just want to say that it's been very heartwarming to read this thread. It means a lot, that everyone here has been supportive and and in zechus of Ahavas chinam we should merit the Geulah Shelaima very soon.

amother

Wheat

Thu, Jul 23 2020, 11:31 am

amother [ Purple ] wrote:

That's part of the problem too. Schools took over a huge part of chinuch. Homes should be stronger than school. I know we can't turn back time but it's sad and frustrating the way the ikkar-the home was made into a tafel and the school was turned into the one and major influence on a child.

amother

Coffee

Thu, Jul 23 2020, 11:50 am

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

Yes this thread consists of people who are fed up from the judgemental attitude.

amother

Saddlebrown

Thu, Jul 23 2020, 12:00 pm

So my husband and I are both from old Monsey, real strong homes. And are no way cool or modern at all. And we went to the "elite" schools ourselves and yet we sent our kids to the smaller newer neutral chassidish schools without the elite name. Why? Not cus we couldn't get it. We didn't even apply to the elite schools. Cus we value what the newer schools offer. A warmer atmosphere. A more updated curriculum instead of recycled from 20 yrs ago. Newer teaching methods. More selective hiring process, better teachers/rebbes. Our voice as parents is valued instead of totally not mattering to the hanhalah. And my kids, several which are teens, all turned out beautifully ehrlich and we have loads of nachas from them.

Strong values comes from the home. The school cannot do it. They can provide an education, they dont have the ability to teach middos and ehrlichkeit in a holistic way. That just doesn't happen in an (overcrowded) classroom setting.

Those that are so frantic to get their kids into the "top" schools should be asking themselves why they are so insecure and not confident their own chinuch abilities. Perhaps a parenting course would be recommended.

Real chinuch can't be outsourced. Education can.

amother

Purple

Thu, Jul 23 2020, 12:09 pm

amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:

I don't think anyone here is talking about not being able to get into "Elite" monsey schools. Were talking about all Chassidshe schools are Monsey are too Chassidishe and if you're neutral Chassidishe you won't find your place.

amother

Coffee

Thu, Jul 23 2020, 12:13 pm

amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:

Nice post. Very well said. You’re lucky you got into the chassidish schools you mentioned. I wonder if those are not elite by chance since the ones you didn’t want were too old fashioned.

amother

Honeydew

Thu, Jul 23 2020, 12:27 pm

amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:

Beautiful post. Thank you for the chizuk.

amother

Bronze

Thu, Jul 23 2020, 12:40 pm

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

I and a bunch of typical BP neutral families that moved to Monsey from BP send to BDY. The thing is that we are strong enough not to care about what other people think. I don't buy into this whole elitism thing. A bunch of boxed in yentas will not keep me from moving if it's better for my family, and they're not worth spending 3 times the price for a house. They are a part of society that I do not mix with or value their narrow minded opinions. Our girls were in Bnos Sura, in Vien, in Gan Yisroel and other neutral schools in BP. I'm also in my mid 30s so I have a different outlook in life than younger people.
My girls get an amazing chinuch at home. Which I believe is the most important, and for the record my husband is still learning part time for many years. They have good friends in school.
The fact that some people want to brand my kids' school cool or not elite, does not change the fact that my husband sits and learns, that I'm far from cool and that my kids are getting a great Chinuch in a Torahdig home. If anything BDY is a warmer and happier atmosphere than most schools here and I'm very proud of that.

Wow wow! Love this ! Winner of this thread. I must save this. I cant agree more to everything u said !

amother

Bronze

Thu, Jul 23 2020, 12:52 pm

amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:

Yup yup!

amother

Pumpkin

Thu, Jul 23 2020, 1:05 pm

Lets_Eat_Pie wrote:

Dumb question from an OOTer: what does "cool" mean in the context of Monsey schools?

It means when you come from a chassidish background and want to do what you want without being restricted by your chassidus. It may include some or all of these;
for women -
nail polish especially dark colors, long sheitel, skirts that dont cover knees, hair exposed when wearing tichel, using smartphone publicly, constantly chewing gum,

for men -
changing out of black and white uniform especially when not a blue collar worker, hanging out in steakhouses, minyan is not a given, trimming or shaving off a beard,

for family -
using curse words, watching movies/TV,

These are examples, not black and white halachos, just trying to depict an image of what cool is.

amother

Bronze

Thu, Jul 23 2020, 1:21 pm

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

Can anyone compare bnos derech Yisroel, munkatch(the way it seems like it will turn out) and bais shifra miriam (of today, I heard it also changed a lot recently)?

I heared people that changed from shifra Miriam to bdy are much happier. Yet not talking anything bad on shifra Miriam just for everyone something else works , though I'm sure s.m. is also great!

My big boy now in yashiva , went to one of the smaller neutral cheiderm all type of backgrounds in monsey , (people do judge that place, some. from some I do hear nice things tho. ) but for those that think negative about neutral , smaller places ect. have it all wrong!
My ds had a phanamenal rebbi and my ds loved him they stayed Connected. (In a healthy way) today my ds is much older and he stayed chavousa with that old rebbi. And the amount my ds grew from just getting to know and stay close with him is just unbelievable (very wise person.) It was bashert for my ds to enter this cheider just even to get to know this rebbi ....
just pointing out that sometimes something that looks not good from beginning can work out wonders. I dont think my ds would do as good in a different place as he did where he was . With that said. Hashem has a reason why each person is placed where they are . Even if the street will talk , people will judge , hashem firt di velt and his plans. We are very thankful for how much my sons cheider put into him and he was able to find a great yashiva bh . Nothing wrong with not sending to the selective schools , or not being accepted . The beginning when I started looking out for a cheider for my oldest, I remember I pushed so hard for a certain moisdes that didnt want us . We were so broken . @ the end we couldnt thank Enough that we weren't accepted since things had worked out well where they ended up .
Leave up to hashem that wherever he placed your kids to be , that's where they are meant to be . Hashem is the one placing them . So whoever judges, comes out they judge hashem too . Were hashems children!