Your most awkward/bizarre guest experience

energy11

Sat, Apr 17 2010, 9:30 pm

In 22 years of marriage, I think we had our share of awkward guests experiences.

One of them, a single guy, recurrent guest, who was always monopolizing the conversation and serving himself three helpings of food and the largest pieces of meat, chicken and fish. When we asked him what kind of wife he was looking for, he quickly exclaimed he wanted someone intelligent,sweet and sensitive like....NAOMI!!! Naomi is our daughter, 4 years old at that time!!!(needless to say it was his last Shabbos in our home).

We had a friend with bipolar who asked to spend the whole Pessach by us because his apartment was too cluttered to be cleant! He ended up depressed and didn't leave our sofa for the whole week...(We discovered that depression is highly contageous, as all of us became drained that year!)

We had been hosted in the US by a nice couple and had to return the favor by hosting their son in Israel. Turned out that he came 3 days before my due date and left after the Bris...He didn't even realize that it was not the best time for us to have a guest! Plus, he is the star of all our Bris pictures, litterally on the first row of each picture! (Quite a memory!)

We had a Brazilian young lady who we invited for Chanuka, before I knew of her strange behavior.
She had very long hair, that she kept playing with, all the time, while making kind of "dancing movements" (for lack of better words). Turns out, she was trying real hard to make a pass at my husband!
She even showed him and my 14 yo son her newly bought lingerie with enthousiasm! (I kicked her out real quick!)

We had a Russian Meshulachas from Israel,who came for a few days of Chag, dressed like a Charedi, but as she was getting comfortable and cooked stuffed cabbage for us, she was also peeling off more and more layers of her clothing, until the week turned to Shabbos and she wanted to put water on the blech to make tea...My credit card disappeared same day - I never found it again!

We had an older french lady who was running away from her husband who wanted set a fire to their home. She was mentally impaired and I didn't sleep all night - I was affraid she would hurt the kids.

We had another mentlly challenged lady sent by the community as a Nebach who needed a place. She smelt SO bad I couldn't take it..and she kept coming again and again, each time bringing a new poem she just wrote about one of my kids...

We had a couple who live in a RV and needed to be hosted for Shabbosim. The lady was SO dirty I forced her into the bathtub. I never understood how, but she came out of it as dirty as she started off...

We had a Meshulach who gave us a long lecture about how we should do more of this or that for a Segulah for Parnassah, while he was raising money to pay his very own bills in Israel...

I am sure I forgot some other guests here and there, but if some of you had a good laugh, it was worth taking the time to write...

mimivan

Sat, Apr 17 2010, 9:50 pm

energy11 wrote:

I think my favorite one was of the lady with bad breath who kept writing poetry about your children...

mommy#1

Sat, Apr 17 2010, 11:02 pm

energy11 wrote:

wow! you sound like you do a lot of hachnasas orchim! kol hakavod!

tomorrow

Thu, May 06 2010, 1:13 pm

Shlomit's Mum totally takes the cake. However:

The WUJS student who was living in Shchem with an arab family and had changed her super-Jewish name to something arabic and thought they wouldn't pick up on it.

Homeless oleh chadash who moved in while I was in my third trimester with baby number one. Didn't leave for weeks and left his stuff in our (itty bitty) apartment for months.

Guy who just found out he was Jewish -- after a life of KKK membership.

Sem. girls that slept all the way 'til lunch, then asked us to wait so they could daven shacharit (at 11:00!!)

mamommommy

Sun, May 23 2010, 11:02 am

We just hosted a family who was attending sheva brachos in our community. We have a guest bathroom in the basement with the guest room, but the parents kept sending their kids upstairs to use the bathroom and EVERY TIME their kids used the bathroom, there was pish all over the place...on the toilet, the floor, the garbage pail (that's next to the toilet) and even one time it reached into the bathtub! I cleaned up pish from that bathroom at least 5 times and then I started sending their kids back down to the bathroom when they came up. It was really gross!