We moved and I think we made a big mistake!

freidasima

Wed, Jul 14 2010, 4:03 pm

I didn't mean it badly. For people including frum ones who believe in exorcism, and there are many, it works just as well, Mezuzot are not magical but if you want to think of them as being such, then you might as well go the whole way. Believe me the more I read about rational people going and doing very irrational things, like Gorah Hagerah, including gedolim, the less I make fun of anything.

OP, I am glad you are feeling better. Can you go away for a few days vacation? Even to your parents and just get away? Even with the kids and without dh? Maybe change of scenery might help...

amother

Wed, Jul 14 2010, 4:04 pm

Zus wrote:

fiddle wrote:

Zus wrote:

amother wrote:

Zus wrote:

Have you made a chanukat bayit?

again OP here. no we have not made a chanukat habayit yet as we know nobody here yet so who would we invite?

I'd try to get a minyan together ASAP and make a proper chanukat bayit with a seder and all. If that's not possible, at least make sure to put up all your mezuzahs, and of course make sure that they're hanging right; on the right side, not upside down etc. And of course have them all checked before.

Why would you make a chanukat habayit for a rented apt????

Huh??
Because you still have to put up mezuzahs, and it's a kabbalistic thing (I think?).
Especially what OP is telling us about the bad vibes, maybe doing a proper chanukat bayit really isn't a bad idea.

I just saw this and the mezuzot were put up the second night we were here. nothing to do with a chanukat bayit with us anyway.

amother

Wed, Jul 14 2010, 4:06 pm

freidasima wrote:

my parents live overseas and as it happens we were already had a trip planned for right after tisha b'av so that is what I am looking forward to at the moment, some get away time and some R & R from all of this. maybe some distance and then coming back will help.

and I was not in the slightest offended by the exorcist comment, it made me laugh, in a good way.

bluebird

Wed, Jul 14 2010, 8:44 pm

I'm sorry, OP. It's hard to deal with picking up and moving and then having it not feel right. At the risk of sounding overly optimistic or condescending, the last time I moved it took me a year to like my new location. What changed my mind about it was gradually recognizing benefits that I hadn't even considered when I was searching for a new place, or thought that were important to me.

I sincerely hope things improve for you.

grin

Thu, Jul 15 2010, 1:13 am

amother wrote:

momsprince wrote:

Were there any doors or windows that are closed off?

huh? what do you mean by this? closed off in terms of what? I just dont understand what you mean by this. (OP here)

if a door or window is completely closed to become part of the wall, it can cause problems such as you describe - but it may be hard to find out.

anyhow, I also hope that R & R will give you more perspective, aside form the relief itself, and of course that things will improve quickly.

amother

Thu, Jul 15 2010, 5:48 am

We also made Aliyah to Israel almost 3 years ago. I still cant adjust. It might be for some people but not for us at this time. My husband was more religious in CHUL. My son used to get 20 hrs of therapy a week for his PDD in CHUL and here they said he was normal and gave him only 20 mins of speech therapy a week! He is suffering terribly in school because of it. I still didnt manage to make friends here that I can click with and I live in a very American area, but then again it could be because I dont have time for one with all my little kiddies. Parnassa for us is horrible, and against an Israeli salary I feel things here are expensive. I finally convinced my husband that we MUST save and go back to America where we can get some help and get back on our feet and where we can both work. Again I know many people who love it here and are getting by fine. Unfortunately in my particular situation, we arent making it. Israel is absolutely gorgeous and I will miss the beautiful scenery and the still somewhat lighter feeling my neshama feels here, but I have to think of my family. Maybe in the future we will move back once the kids are grown.

natmichal

Thu, Jul 15 2010, 6:06 am

Not much to help here, but seriously, OP, if it's only been a month, take a deep breath and see what happens by Channukka.
We move a few times, always in Israel, the last time being 2 years ago. We moved to places where we wanted to move, knew where we were going into and who would be our neighbors. And we spoke the language well.
And with all that, this beginning was never easy: the house is never totally unpacked properly in the first few months, and that's already a lot of stress, you still have to get used to the day to day things where you live, and yes, I was sick within a month of moving each time (sometimes better, sometimes worse), because of the work, stress etc.
Lay back, treat yourself to a nice outing with your dh, go daven at the kotel (you're in Israel now!!!) whatever. Relax, put a smile on and hope that with your hishtadl Hashem will help round up the rest.
Good luck.

Tamiri

Thu, Jul 15 2010, 7:05 am

amother wrote:

Don't beat yourself up. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

amother

Thu, Jul 15 2010, 7:18 am

grin wrote:

amother wrote:

momsprince wrote:

Were there any doors or windows that are closed off?

huh? what do you mean by this? closed off in terms of what? I just dont understand what you mean by this. (OP here)

nope, no windows or doors like that.

and what kind of problems could that cause? mold or something else? im not sure which reply this was refering to.

amother

Thu, Jul 15 2010, 7:19 am

amother wrote:

grin wrote:

amother wrote:

momsprince wrote:

Were there any doors or windows that are closed off?

huh? what do you mean by this? closed off in terms of what? I just dont understand what you mean by this. (OP here)

nope, no windows or doors like that.

and what kind of problems could that cause? mold or something else? im not sure which reply this was refering to.

kabbalistic

Tablepoetry

Thu, Jul 15 2010, 8:55 am

amother wrote:

I hope you're getting the monthly support from Bituach Leumi (around 2000 NIS) and three hrs a week from Kupat cholim (for all kinds of treatments like swimming/horseback riding, etc).

Tablepoetry

Thu, Jul 15 2010, 9:04 am

OP - we moved around a few times in Israel. The one big time I thought we made a mistake was when we moved from the city where we raised our kids to another city, closer to the center, with better opportunities. My older kids, who were entering their teens, took the move very hard, and I regretted it for a few years.

It's hard to move when you have older kids - but that doesn't seem to be an issue here. I think as long as your kids are under age 10, they are much more flexible. You are free to move elsewhere if this place is no good for you. Believe me, I know what a major hassle it is to pack everything up and start anew, but it's still very doable as long as you don't have to worry about older kids and their social/educational networks.

I don't know who you are or where you moved. I will say that one of our moves was to a 'perfect' city in Israel, which came highly recommended. It was very, very hard for us to fit in there. We were just too provinicial, not classy enough, not wealthy enough, etc. It was a hard decision, but ultimately we left, and b'h are very happy where we are now. Finding a community or city where you fit in is not a simple task. Some people are lucky and find one right away, or settle where they grew up, but for many of us, it's a quest that takes years and several moves. The lucky ones manage to settle down before their kids are older - because uprooting kids is another topic altogether.

Besiyata Dishmaya

Thu, Jul 15 2010, 4:28 pm

amother wrote:

freidasima wrote:

OP if you have bad vibes start looking for somewhere else. That doesn't mean that you will move immediately, but it means that you might feel better if you have another place in mind, and you have the time to really check it out. PM me for suggestions...

Im the OP. thanks FS, its more of the fact that since we have moved (or as we were moving) nothing good has happened in our lives, but a lot of bad things and just plain things are happening that I am wondering if Hashem is trying to tell us that this was a wrong move. does that make sense at all?
we liked where we lived. we moved because of my husband's job.

משנה מקום משנה מזל
Maybe you should discuss it with your Rosh Yeshiva/Rebbe/Rov or a Mekubal. In Israel there are lots of choshuva Mekubolim.

amother

Fri, Jul 16 2010, 8:03 am

Tablepoetry wrote:

I am the OP. can I ask you to tell me what city this was and where you live now? Or can I PM you and you tell me? the way you described yourselves (too provincial and not rich enough) sounds very much like what I feel, so that may be some of it too.

BH we only have one child so far and she is not old enough for it to matter if we move even a few more times, but moving is just not fun at all, to put it mildly Sad

and I dont want to have to do it many more times.