Taking kids out of school for a private day out with mommy

Tue, Dec 21 2010, 12:54 pm

Sounds like a great way to have one-on-one time with your child, and avoid afterschool/weekend crowds wherever you are going. However, make sure you choose a time that won't cause your child to miss something in school that can't be made up - a play rehearsal, science experiment, siyyum, etc.

pobody's nerfect

Tue, Dec 21 2010, 1:04 pm

as a teacher of lower elementary school, I don't mind at all if these special days are very occasional- once or twice per school year. I understand that many upper-school teachers despise this view toward work and the kids complain a lot about making up missed class....

YALT

Tue, Dec 21 2010, 1:06 pm

Just recently I needed to take DS for a dr's appointment that had to be during school time.
After we finished, I treated him to pizza and then to amazing savings.
He was so well behaved, that I decided I have to do it again. We both enjoyed that day. I felt like he's become so mature suddenly.
Of course on a regular Sunday he still acts like the typical kid....
I would definitely do it again.

alinjer28

Wed, Dec 22 2010, 5:03 am

Thank you everyone for your positive feedback. Regarding some of your concerns, the kids' schools don't usually ask us to explain an absence. (Maybe things in Israel are a bit more lenient).
I also sat down with the kids so that they can choose a day that suits them. There are subjects on certain days that they don't want to miss or are harder to make up.
For working moms this is also more tricky, I do have one day off per week, but since I'm spreading the outings out over several months, I'll still have my day off for the things I need to take care of.
One thing I have learned is that the kids are completely different people in the mornings!!! Like YALT said, so are so mature and well behaved. It almost seems unfair the schools should always have them that way, while we get to have them all kvetchy. Smile

Still looking for more ideas... in ISRAEL Wink

Mrs Bissli

Wed, Dec 22 2010, 7:24 pm

Im not really carrying a chip on my shoulder, but doesn't it imply as if school is an unhealthy place if you call it "mental health day"? BTW, the same activity is called truancy here, and parents can be fined. When this happens frequently, the school can deny a place/expell the student.

Also wouldn't that encourage your children not to follow school rules and/or give them an idea it's ok to play hookey once they start to work?

Maybe it's cultural, but I find there's enough mummy-and-me bonding time on Sundays and regular school holidays. I really dont get it especially if the main attraction is to do something simply because it's less crowded. For me that indicates selfish parents taking their interest in the presence it's good for children.

chocolate moose

Wed, Dec 22 2010, 7:26 pm

Mrs Bissli wrote:

I agree. I wonder if it's because I'm a working mom, that I would never do such a thing. My parents also would never have done that; they're 1st & 2nd generation America.

yo'ma

Wed, Dec 22 2010, 7:49 pm

Mrs Bissli wrote:

Maybe it's cultural, but I find there's enough mummy-and-me bonding time on Sundays and regular school holidays. I really dont get it especially if the main attraction is to do something simply because it's less crowded. For me that indicates selfish parents taking their interest in the presence it's good for children.

When you have more than one child, it's hard to make mommy time with each kid when they're all home. I don't call it mental health day, I call it mommy day because that's the point of taking them out for me, to spend alone time with mommy (and maybe baby Wink

greeneyes

Wed, Dec 22 2010, 8:45 pm

My mother did this with me once or twice a year, & I LOVED it. She took a day off of work, I took off from school, & I got to pick what I wanted to do. I almost always chose going to the Botanical Gardens, going out together for lunch, and then going to an art supply store where we would browse & I would get to pick out something to buy. I have such wonderful memories of that time spent with her!

Happy 2B

Wed, Dec 22 2010, 8:52 pm

my sister did this/does this with her kids.. I think it's a lovely thing to do. It reinforces what's important in life.. your kids... not how many p'sukim they can memorize or the war of 1812 etc.

I hope to one day do this with my children im yirseh hashem. I love to go to FAO.. I call it a museum though that way noone is disappointed when they dont get anything afterall it's a museum not a store Smile

observer

Wed, Dec 22 2010, 8:53 pm

Mrs Bissli wrote:

Im not really carrying a chip on my shoulder, but doesn't it imply as if school is an unhealthy place if you call it "mental health day"?

I wouldnt call it a mental health day. as someone mentioned, I'd call it a mommy day.

Mrs Bissli wrote:

Also wouldn't that encourage your children not to follow school rules and/or give them an idea it's ok to play hookey once they start to work?

Just because they receive a privileged outing once or twice a year doesn't make them not follow school rules. The child probably think the mother 'worked it out' with the school and its ok.
And for the record, many people do play hookey once in a while at work. Once in a while, I'll take a day and dh and I will spend the day together. nothing wrong with that if done minimally.

Mrs Bissli wrote:

You cant spend one-on-one quality time on sundays or whenever all the kids are home. the point is to give each child one on one quality time.

And I work full time but I'm still a strong advocate of this.

amother

Wed, Dec 22 2010, 9:05 pm

I never did this when I was younger, but I always thought it was a great idea. what I want to do is make a rotation- one child each month. so if I have two kids in school, it would be every other month, etc.
my son right now is in a place where it would be detrimental to him to miss school, so I will wait until next year or the year after, when he is in yeshiva, to start this. and no, I will not do it every month when he is the only one in school Smile

maybe just two or three times total.

the world's best mom

Wed, Dec 22 2010, 9:07 pm

Chaim Walder wrote a story about this idea in "Behind the Mask". It's called "Wednesdays with Ima". While reading the story, I decided to keep each of my kids home a couple of times a year, though not while they're so young. Now they cry if they have to miss school, so I'll wait until they're a bit older.

alinjer28

Thu, Dec 23 2010, 2:48 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

I don't think the question is, if the child or parent would love it. The question is if it's morally and ethically right to do.

I think that it downgrades chinuch and the work ethic.

I actually think it compliments chinuch and the work ethic. They see that mommy works hard, and they know the importance of school, and yet they see that as important as work and school are, (and they really are!), relationships are what count. They see how we value them as people and our relationship with them even more.
School is there to prepare you for LIFE, to me, this is actually really living, its taking a small break from routine to enjoy each others company, and I think that can only help to build character, not detract from it! Think about the memories, and the self confidence a child can gain from this, never mind the insight and information you can get from spending this kind of down time with a child...

Grandmama

Thu, Dec 23 2010, 4:13 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

I don't think the question is, if the child or parent would love it. The question is if it's morally and ethically right to do.

I think that it downgrades chinuch and the work ethic.

Like everything in life, we need to find a healthy balance. Mothers that are in tune with their kids know when a child needs a day off or a break sometimes. I usually will try to make time alone at any opportunity if possible. Maybe that is why my kids know that this exists, but don't feel a great need for it. They appreciate when I take them out and spend the time with them on their vacation days, and if they are not feeling well I can use the opportunity to take them out to breakfast or lunch on the way to the doctor.