leaving kids alone in the car for few mins ok?

e1234

Wed, Dec 22 2010, 11:29 am

I live in what some would refer to as a safe Israeli city
dh was walking down a street and all of a sudden sees a car rolling down the street with a little kid in the back.
Her father must have ran in the store for just 1 minute.
dh who doesn't have a liscense jumped into the car and breaked it and turned it off.
Father comes out and doesn't even know about the lives that were saved. - where is the responsibility (and in this case the keys were in the ignition and car on)

A few days ago I'm walking down the street and see a 4 year old and 2 year old in a car with the ignition on.
1 minute later the father was running to the car - but it doesn't take long for something to happen.

(in my case I'm referring to a even bigger problem of people leaving with the ignition on.)

Teacup9

Wed, Dec 22 2010, 11:45 am

It depends on the age and the weather and the place.

When it is cold out I often blast the heat for a bit, leave my daughter in the car with the doors locked - no key, and walk my son to the door of his school. I don't love doing this, but it is sort of the same as if the school was my house and I loaded the children in the car one at a time.

As an older child, Maybe 6 or 7? when I knew never to open the doors for strangers, my parents would occasionally let me stay in the car listening to a tape or just sitting by myself while they did a five to ten minute errand.

I have on occasion left my kids in the car, locked it, and ran a quick errand so long as I could see the car from the bakery/restaurant/etc however I don't know if I would say it is an okay thing to do. Sometimes I just get overwhelmed with the idea of getting everyone from carseats to strollers, in and out, etc.

I believe leaving kids in the car is illegal in some situations. There was the story of a couple in Jersey both going into the gas station store and leaving kids in the car and getting arrested. I am curious what the exact law is.

Sweet Valley Gal

Wed, Dec 22 2010, 11:56 am

octopus wrote:

Emesz wrote:

would you leave your pocketbook in the car for a few minutes? even with doors locked?

I don't leave my kid even for one second alone in the car, but I would leave my pocketbook hidden under a seat. I've even left my wallet in the car overnight (by mistake). embarrassed

I would leave my pocketbook easily but never my child

sarahd

Wed, Dec 22 2010, 12:49 pm

I think this is in many ways cultural. Where I live, no one thinks anything of leaving a child in the car (strapped in his car seat, with the ignition off, doors locked) while dashing up the stairs to drop his sibling off at kindergarten or to pick him up. I have done this plenty of times myself. If I only need to bring my child up half a flight of stairs, leave him at the door with his teacher and say goodbye, I am not going to shlep my other child along. Ditto if I know my older son is already downstairs waiting for pickup. OTOH, if we are late for dropoff and I have to bring ds up two flights of stairs or if I'm early for pickup and I'm going to have to wait for him to come down, I'll take out younger ds.

Merrymom

Wed, Dec 22 2010, 1:36 pm

Awhile back there was a thread about this, all kinds of horror stories were told, like creeps trying to get into the car and kids traumatized. I don't have a problem with it if it's at someone's house while you run in an older child into the playgroup and don't want to shlep out the baby in the cold. Definitely not in a public area though.

marina

Wed, Dec 22 2010, 3:22 pm

hey let's try this:

google the number of children that are killed or harmed annually while in a stationary vehicle with the engine off and the keys out of reach and the parent is out of the car.

now google the number of children that are killed or harmed annually while the vehicle is moving and the engine is on and the parent is driving the car.

I am always fascinated about how people assess risk emotionally, with barely a nod to statistics.

Me, personally I can't believe it's legal for people to drive in a car with children at all. Everyone should just walk.

Gsanmb

Wed, Dec 22 2010, 3:37 pm

No. It's not okay. Not ever, not for a minute.

You never know what could happen. Someone could accidentally ram the car coming out of a parking space.

A friend of mine left her (relatively new) van warming up in the driveway one day, and it was just because one child was running late that she hadn't buckled all of the others in yet and run back into the house for the lunches, as she usually did. The van malfunctioned and exploded into flames. I am not joking. It incinerated in minutes. It was pure chasdei Hashem that the children were not in the car alone.

Clearly those are freak incidents. They rarely happen. But many, many children do get left in cars alone and bad things do happen.

A moment's convenience is not worth a lifetime's regret and sorrow. You don't know the moment something might (chas v'shalom) happen to you. Hishtadlut is doing all you can to make sure you are doing the right thing. The right thing is not always the easiest or most convenient thing. Hashem gave us these neshamot to TAKE CARE OF ALL THE TIME. I simply don't understand the cavalier way some people treat that responsibility. Leaving children unattended in cars? In strollers outside stores? At parks without supervision? With stranger/illegal immigrant/no-references-checked sitters who are the cheapest and do the most housework?

Gah. Sorry. That was a vent.

Look, I understand how inconvenient it can be to shlep all the kids out of the car in and out of errands. But those few minutes will not, in the end (and lo aleinu) be worth much if someone gets hurt or worse. Not to mention the emotional distress that a young child can experience at the thought of being left alone and where's mommy? They don't have an understanding of time. And their terror can be very real, even if we discount it as fleeting and illogical.

Not. Worth. It.

momo4

Wed, Dec 22 2010, 3:38 pm

Marina, I think you're being a little...... Like someone already mentioned, you can't bubble wrap your kids, but at least keep a watchful eye on them. When you drive you're careful how you drive (yes I know there are more accidents than harm to a kid in a locked car...etc....) But you're STILL leaving the kids ALONE, it doesn't matter for how long. How would you feel coming out of a store you ran into for even 1 SECOND, and find a cars hood in you're cars rear end, while YOUR CHILD IS "SAFELY" INSIDE!!!!?

marina

Wed, Dec 22 2010, 3:43 pm

momo4 wrote:

probably the same way I would feel if I found a car hood in my car's rear end if I was safely inside the car with my child.

How's leaving the kids alone in a parked car with the engine off while you go inside with the keys and pay for the gas any different than your kids playing in the backyard while you make supper in the house? All the dangers in the former scenario still exist in the second scenario. Kidnappers, drunk drivers, out of control cars.

sky

Wed, Dec 22 2010, 3:51 pm

momo4 wrote:

And in such a scenerio how will it help if you are in the car? Being in the car doesn't prevent someone from rear ending you.

saw50st8

Wed, Dec 22 2010, 3:55 pm

marina wrote:

momo4 wrote:

I would still be cautious with this. What I would do in this amothers case is call ahead and make sure my child is ready to go (including coat and what not). Then I would park as close as possible while still having the car visible. I would go to the door and have my child come out or have them bring my child out.

Sweet Valley Gal

Wed, Dec 22 2010, 7:03 pm

amother wrote:

I had a real issue with this the other day - I drove carpool and the nursery asst. wasn't waiting outside for the kids as she was supposed to, and I had a toddler and baby sleeping in the car - do I leave the kids or not bring in the preschoolers?

Thats tough. What did you end up doing? What I would have done: Wait for another parent to drive up and ask them to walk my child in...

amother

Wed, Dec 22 2010, 7:16 pm

I live in a pretty safe area. I left my 8 year old in the car a few weeks ago while I ran her little brother into preschool, because she had homework to finish up. When I came out, there were 4 parents standing around my car telling me that they were "guarding" my poor child.

I kind of wondered how old they thought she was; I think that by almost 9, a kid can stay alone for a few minutes in a locked car. She knew how to get out and find me if she needed me.