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-> Hobbies, Crafts, and Collections
-> The Imamother Writing Club
the world's best mom
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 Tue, Jan 11 2011, 9:53 pm
| mummiedearest wrote: | | the world's best mom wrote: | Ode To My Children
An ode to my delightful kids:
I love all a real big ton.
You’re banging loudly with my pot lids
And having lots of fun.
You’ve given me gray hair
And little time to sleep.
You don’t make my life easy.
But a life with out you, I couldn’t bear,
For my love for you runs so deep.
The thought just makes me queasy.
I don't love the cdecde part. |
hmmm. yes, the cdecde part needs something. maybe separate it from the abab? an empty line can make a difference. and ending the sentence in the first d line makes you expect a cdcd pattern. the e is totally unexpected. that's the problem with sticking to a set structure. it's hard to make it really work because it needs to be very technical. layering creativity with technical is tough, man. |
I think you are right. Each cde should be one sentence. I think the work you put in to make it technically correct pays off because the results can be so beautiful.
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mummiedearest
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Tue, Jan 11 2011, 9:57 pm
| the world's best mom wrote: | | mummiedearest wrote: | | the world's best mom wrote: | Ode To My Children
An ode to my delightful kids:
I love all a real big ton.
You’re banging loudly with my pot lids
And having lots of fun.
You’ve given me gray hair
And little time to sleep.
You don’t make my life easy.
But a life with out you, I couldn’t bear,
For my love for you runs so deep.
The thought just makes me queasy.
I don't love the cdecde part. |
hmmm. yes, the cdecde part needs something. maybe separate it from the abab? an empty line can make a difference. and ending the sentence in the first d line makes you expect a cdcd pattern. the e is totally unexpected. that's the problem with sticking to a set structure. it's hard to make it really work because it needs to be very technical. layering creativity with technical is tough, man. |
I think you are right. Each cde should be one sentence. I think the work you put in to make it technically correct pays off because the results can be so beautiful. |
agreed. they can be so beautiful. but it cramps my style 
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sunshine!
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Tue, Jan 11 2011, 10:00 pm
Ode to Snow
You come down glistening from the sky
You blanket all in white
But all I can do is heave a sigh
When you work hard through the night
The damage you cause by morning light
Is something I want to flee
So if you're coming, do it right
Go straight to Tennessee
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Blue jay
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Tue, Jan 11 2011, 10:04 pm
| sunshine! wrote: | Ode to Snow
You come down glistening from the sky
You blanket all in white
But all I can do is heave a sigh
When you work hard through the night
The damage you cause by morning light
Is something I want to flee
So if you're coming, do it right
Go straight to Tennessee |
Great poem! You definately captured a NY moment!
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enneamom
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Tue, Jan 11 2011, 11:08 pm
This one won't be easy to relate to now (maybe for those in Australia):
Ode to an Air Conditioner
O thou gallant defender of poor humankind
I'd be honored to praise thee, if words I could find
For eloquence I quest
I shall do my best
To express the deep thanks of my mind.
When mine villainous enemy, heat, craven and foul
Creeps through the portals on wings soft as owls'
And numbs our senses
Mocking our defenses
With nothing escaping its dastardly prowl
Then to our aid dost thou gallantly spring!
Thine rugged bland countenance reassuring.
Coolly and without fear
Emanating cold air
Thou bravely defeatest the varlet heat's sting.
Forsooth! what a mighty battle then ensues
Thou givest the enemy many a bruise
With blow after blow
Thou beatest the foe
Til the cur slinkest from thy doughty issues.
In the boiling summer, where would we be
Without our puissant lifesaver, without thee
My gratitude is great
I do not overstate
When I say thou art worth any fee.
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enneamom
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Wed, Jan 12 2011, 12:03 am
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I just want to add that some of these are quite adorable!
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mosma
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Wed, Jan 12 2011, 12:50 am
ode to my television
oh dearest tv
stop staring at me
I need to go to sleep
my bed is ready
but your glow is steady
the price I will pay is steep
in the morning rush
there's always a push
to shlep myself out of my rest
I wake up my son
clothes, food, bus--RUN!
mornings I'm not at my best
so why don't I shut you outright
and close my eyes tight?
it's the better idea by far
so tonight I'll be good
and do what I should
besides, that's why I have DVR!
(gnight y'all!)
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mummiedearest
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Wed, Jan 12 2011, 8:57 am
ode to sleepiness
good morning, my snrrgl
I opened one eye
my mouth mutters flrrgl
a minute goes by
my pillow's a station
my head will not leave
there's no celebration
I give it a heave
my toothbrush hits my cheek
and my eyes are red and bleary
I'll be awake before the day is done.
the faucet has a leek
but I'm tired and I'm weary
returning to my bed would be more fun.
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theoneandonly
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Wed, Jan 12 2011, 9:16 am
Ode to my long black skirt
On days that I feel like a shlump,
or simply don't know what to wear,
My eyes travel 'round the room,
until I spot you lying there.
O skirt, you are so useful!
As easy as can be!
All I do is pull you on.
No need for tights, you see
The bane of my existence
is this thing that is called "tights"
which must have been created by men
to deprive me of my rights
O skirt, this is where you come in
o to you I write this ode
you make me feel so comfortable
and ensure that my legs aint showed. 
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theoneandonly
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Wed, Jan 12 2011, 9:17 am
| enneamom wrote: | This one won't be easy to relate to now (maybe for those in Australia):
Ode to an Air Conditioner
O thou gallant defender of poor humankind
I'd be honored to praise thee, if words I could find
For eloquence I quest
I shall do my best
To express the deep thanks of my mind.
When mine villainous enemy, heat, craven and foul
Creeps through the portals on wings soft as owls'
And numbs our senses
Mocking our defenses
With nothing escaping its dastardly prowl
Then to our aid dost thou gallantly spring!
Thine rugged bland countenance reassuring.
Coolly and without fear
Emanating cold air
Thou bravely defeatest the varlet heat's sting.
Forsooth! what a mighty battle then ensues
Thou givest the enemy many a bruise
With blow after blow
Thou beatest the foe
Til the cur slinkest from thy doughty issues.
In the boiling summer, where would we be
Without our puissant lifesaver, without thee
My gratitude is great
I do not overstate
When I say thou art worth any fee. |
Loving the language and style 
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mosma
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Wed, Jan 12 2011, 9:51 am
| theoneandonly wrote: | Ode to my long black skirt
On days that I feel like a shlump,
or simply don't know what to wear,
My eyes travel 'round the room,
until I spot you lying there.
O skirt, you are so useful!
As easy as can be!
All I do is pull you on.
No need for tights, you see
The bane of my existence
is this thing that is called "tights"
which must have been created by men
to deprive me of my rights
O skirt, this is where you come in
o to you I write this ode
you make me feel so comfortable
and ensure that my legs aint showed. |
love this one!
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the world's best mom
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Wed, Jan 12 2011, 10:18 am
Ode to my Bathtub
I've noticed that my bathtub
Is a quite amazing thing.
I fill it up with water
And I sit there like a king.
The water's very soothing,
The atmosphere so still.
Alone there with my thoughts
Of sunshine on the hills.
But the very best part
Of my very treasured bath:
When the kids come banging on the door,
I just sit and laugh.
Because I'm safe here in my bathtub,
Noone can come and bother
This tired mom relaxing here,
Instead go find your father.
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mosma
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Wed, Jan 12 2011, 10:22 am
| the world's best mom wrote: | Ode to my Bathtub
I've noticed that my bathtub
Is a quite amazing thing.
I fill it up with water
And I sit there like a king.
The water's very soothing,
The atmosphere so still.
Alone there with my thoughts
Of sunshine on the hills.
But the very best part
Of my very treasured bath:
When the kids come banging on the door,
I just sit and laugh.
Because I'm safe here in my bathtub,
Noone can come and bother
This tired mom relaxing here,
Instead go find your father. |
love this!
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robynm
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Wed, Jan 12 2011, 11:36 am
| mosma wrote: | ode to my television
oh dearest tv
stop staring at me
I need to go to sleep
my bed is ready
but your glow is steady
the price I will pay is steep
in the morning rush
there's always a push
to shlep myself out of my rest
I wake up my son
clothes, food, bus--RUN!
mornings I'm not at my best
so why don't I shut you outright
and close my eyes tight?
it's the better idea by far
so tonight I'll be good
and do what I should
besides, that's why I have DVR!
(gnight y'all!) |
FANTASTIC!!! 
this is now my favorite!!!!
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mummiedearest
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Wed, Jan 12 2011, 11:57 am
ode to ennui
...eh, why bother.
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HindaRochel
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Wed, Jan 12 2011, 1:35 pm
ODE TO A RED SHIRT
Could a red rose fresh on the bush ever think itself to compare,
To my 100 percent cotton shirt,which I do now declare
Made me fit for the canvas of the artiste'Jean-Babtiste Santerre
But oh now, oh now,I'm in utter,complete,and total despair
After years of service devoted,trustworthy and glorious
preforming in times of duty, difficult and laborious
whether I had lost the battle or emerging victorious
my red shirt was always there for me faithful meritorious
And then one day to my horror---oh the pain for I discovered
a memory from which even still today I have not recovered
for in my preparations for dress one day I had uncovered
a tear, a dreadful tear, on the shirts back that could not be covered!
My friends, my family, my beloved ones with seeming sympathy
have assured me that I can prevail,and survive this tragedy
(though I've this suspicion that for me there's not too much empathy)
for this terrible, this tragic, this horrific catastrophe.
(Hey, really liked this shirt. I also this could be an entry to whatever that worst poem in the Universe from D.Adams thing was.
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sequoia
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Wed, Jan 12 2011, 1:58 pm
Ode to hummus
Bruno said you may be problematic
But fear not, I shall be quite emphatic
In your defense, oh chickpea spread
Your goodness goes right to my head
For your taste is entirely divine
Better than the fruit of the vine
And on whole-grain toast or any other leaven
It's a match made right in heaven
So sorry you were confused with terrorist thugs
The worst thing you could attract is bugs
You transform a simple sandwich into a feast
If everyone were like you there'd be peace in the Middle East
I know, right? Now you see why I stick to prose.
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robynm
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Wed, Jan 12 2011, 2:00 pm
| HindaRochel wrote: | ODE TO A RED SHIRT
Could a red rose fresh on the bush ever think itself to compare,
To my 100 percent cotton shirt,which I do now declare
Made me fit for the canvas of the artiste'Jean-Babtiste Santerre
But oh now, oh now,I'm in utter,complete,and total despair
After years of service devoted,trustworthy and glorious
preforming in times of duty, difficult and laborious
whether I had lost the battle or emerging victorious
my red shirt was always there for me faithful meritorious
And then one day to my horror---oh the pain for I discovered
a memory from which even still today I have not recovered
for in my preparations for dress one day I had uncovered
a tear, a dreadful tear, on the shirts back that could not be covered!
My friends, my family, my beloved ones with seeming sympathy
have assured me that I can prevail,and survive this tragedy
(though I've this suspicion that for me there's not too much empathy)
for this terrible, this tragic, this horrific catastrophe.
(Hey, really liked this shirt. I also this could be an entry to whatever that worst poem in the Universe from D.Adams thing was. |
should not go in worst poem ever written. its very clever and creative. and I like that the shirt is RED.
PRITZUS!!!
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robynm
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Wed, Jan 12 2011, 2:02 pm
| sequoia wrote: | Ode to hummus
Bruno said you may be problematic
But fear not, I shall be quite emphatic
In your defense, oh chickpea spread
Your goodness goes right to my head
For your taste is entirely divine
Better than the fruit of the vine
And on whole-grain toast or any other leaven
It's a match made right in heaven
So sorry you were confused with terrorist thugs
The worst thing you could attract is bugs
You transform a simple sandwich into a feast
If everyone were like you there'd be peace in the Middle EastI know, right? Now you see why I stick to prose. |
the topics are getting more and more hysterical!!!
I love the last paragraph!!! 
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HindaRochel
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Wed, Jan 12 2011, 2:20 pm
| sequoia wrote: | Ode to hummus
Bruno said you may be problematic
But fear not, I shall be quite emphatic
In your defense, oh chickpea spread
Your goodness goes right to my head
For your taste is entirely divine
Better than the fruit of the vine
And on whole-grain toast or any other leaven
It's a match made right in heaven
So sorry you were confused with terrorist thugs
The worst thing you could attract is bugs
You transform a simple sandwich into a feast
If everyone were like you there'd be peace in the Middle East
I know, right? Now you see why I stick to prose. |
Well I like! If only it were so easy to achieve Mid east peace
(btw, Rustavelian Quartrain )
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