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Forum
-> Inquiries & Offers
-> Israel related Inquiries & Aliyah Questions
shalhevet
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 Tue, Sep 26 2006, 4:42 am
I don't know if anyone has thought of this, but do you really want your daughter to be hosted by someone anonymous you met on an Internet site? (Although all the Israeli posters sound really nice, not to mean anything personal.) I would really be careful.
I have worked in the past setting up sem girls and while the sems certainly don't check out families as if they were making a shidduch  , there is some sort of vetting. At least that it's a friend of a friend and sometimes much more.
Also, I would definitely not send someone keeping second day to a family with only one day yomtov. I can practically guarantee her a miserable time under such circumstances. It does not add to the yomtov atmosphere to have frum Jews around you behaving like it's stam a weekday (which it is for them on Simchas Torah).
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shabbatiscoming
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Tue, Sep 26 2006, 5:57 am
| mummyof6 wrote: | I don't know if anyone has thought of this, but do you really want your daughter to be hosted by someone anonymous you met on an Internet site? (Although all the Israeli posters sound really nice, not to mean anything personal.) I would really be careful.
I have worked in the past setting up sem girls and while the sems certainly don't check out families as if they were making a shidduch , there is some sort of vetting. At least that it's a friend of a friend and sometimes much more.
Also, I would definitely not send someone keeping second day to a family with only one day yomtov. I can practically guarantee her a miserable time under such circumstances. It does not add to the yomtov atmosphere to have frum Jews around you behaving like it's stam a weekday (which it is for them on Simchas Torah). |
about being hosted by someone anonymous, I dont know if you were ever in seminary but I remember when I was there (gosh, almost ten years ago) if girls did not have places to go forshabbat, our madrichot would find places for us to go to in israel and I mean all over israel. we told them where we wanted to go and they tried to find there.
also, you said that you set girls up with families and there is a bit of checking into the families. but not all sems and yeshivot do that. I know b/c I have called yeshivot and sems to inform them that if the students would like a place for shabbat by us they are more than welcome. and all of the schools said thank you. one of the guys yeshivot asked if we had daughters so that they would know, but that was the only "checking".
I agreewith mummyof6 about the second day with non secondayer. I did that my year in sem and it was terrible. the second day of succot I was someplace where they were already back at work and school and so the radio was going the dishwasher was on, and they were allowed, so there was nothing that I could do to change it.
I personally feel that for secoind dayers it is better to find a place where they will be able to have a seudat yom tov, it will be more in the aveera of yom tov for them.
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BeershevaBubby
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Tue, Sep 26 2006, 6:20 am
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My grandmother is visting my aunt, who lives in Har Nof. I can ask if she'd be able to host a meal for the girls... how many are there?
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de_goldy
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Tue, Sep 26 2006, 6:24 am
| Quote: | also, you said that you set girls up with families and there is a bit of checking into the families. but not all sems and yeshivot do that. I know b/c I have called yeshivot and sems to inform them that if the students would like a place for shabbat by us they are more than welcome. and all of the schools said thank you. one of the guys yeshivot asked if we had daughters so that they would know, but that was the only "checking".
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As far as you know. They may well have called up other people to find out about you.
I would also be very wary of sending my daughter off to some stranger on the internet, and giving out her cell phone number on pm!!
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shabbatiscoming
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Tue, Sep 26 2006, 6:40 am
| de_goldy wrote: | | Quote: | also, you said that you set girls up with families and there is a bit of checking into the families. but not all sems and yeshivot do that. I know b/c I have called yeshivot and sems to inform them that if the students would like a place for shabbat by us they are more than welcome. and all of the schools said thank you. one of the guys yeshivot asked if we had daughters so that they would know, but that was the only "checking".
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As far as you know. They may well have called up other people to find out about you.
I would also be very wary of sending my daughter off to some stranger on the internet, and giving out her cell phone number on pm!! |
first of all, I was not talkig about setting up girls or guys with stragers on the internet. I was talking about myself that called some yeshivot and sems to offer places for students for shabbatot. the yeshivot and sems do not know my husband and myself.
and I know that they did not chekc us out with other ppl to find out about us. how would they know who we know and they know?
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red sea
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Tue, Sep 26 2006, 7:35 am
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Shanie5, I went to pple who kept only one day of yom tov for all the chagim when I was in sem, except ate out for the second seder on pesach, it really was fine. If she is stuck tell her not to worry, its really not bad, its weird no matter what when you see all the cars buses and stores going full weekday no matter what.
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shalhevet
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Tue, Sep 26 2006, 7:52 am
| shabbatiscoming wrote: | | de_goldy wrote: | | Quote: | also, you said that you set girls up with families and there is a bit of checking into the families. but not all sems and yeshivot do that. I know b/c I have called yeshivot and sems to inform them that if the students would like a place for shabbat by us they are more than welcome. and all of the schools said thank you. one of the guys yeshivot asked if we had daughters so that they would know, but that was the only "checking".
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As far as you know. They may well have called up other people to find out about you.
I would also be very wary of sending my daughter off to some stranger on the internet, and giving out her cell phone number on pm!! |
first of all, I was not talkig about setting up girls or guys with stragers on the internet. I was talking about myself that called some yeshivot and sems to offer places for students for shabbatot. the yeshivot and sems do not know my husband and myself.
and I know that they did not chekc us out with other ppl to find out about us. how would they know who we know and they know? |
They'll speak to someone who they know who lives where you do/ davens where your husband is likely to daven etc. Like I said, it's not a full scale detective investigation, but they'll make sure you are "nice" people who are moreless in line with the school hashkafa. So they don't have to speak to your best friend. Someone who says "Shabbat Shalom" to your dh is enough. Where I set girls up we kept a card index and would ask the girls who were there how it was. Then we had notes for further use. It often wasn't that someone was better/worse, rather that certain families were better for outgoing/quiet or frum/BT or people who wanted an 'experience'/ people who wanted a quiet Shabbat. (Hope I haven't scared anyone off offering Shabbos to girls in sem ) The sem has a certain amount of responsibility towards where they send the girls.
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shabbatiscoming
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Tue, Sep 26 2006, 8:46 am
| mummyof6 wrote: | | shabbatiscoming wrote: | | de_goldy wrote: | | Quote: | also, you said that you set girls up with families and there is a bit of checking into the families. but not all sems and yeshivot do that. I know b/c I have called yeshivot and sems to inform them that if the students would like a place for shabbat by us they are more than welcome. and all of the schools said thank you. one of the guys yeshivot asked if we had daughters so that they would know, but that was the only "checking".
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As far as you know. They may well have called up other people to find out about you.
I would also be very wary of sending my daughter off to some stranger on the internet, and giving out her cell phone number on pm!! |
first of all, I was not talkig about setting up girls or guys with stragers on the internet. I was talking about myself that called some yeshivot and sems to offer places for students for shabbatot. the yeshivot and sems do not know my husband and myself.
and I know that they did not chekc us out with other ppl to find out about us. how would they know who we know and they know? |
They'll speak to someone who they know who lives where you do/ davens where your husband is likely to daven etc. Like I said, it's not a full scale detective investigation, but they'll make sure you are "nice" people who are moreless in line with the school hashkafa. So they don't have to speak to your best friend. Someone who says "Shabbat Shalom" to your dh is enough. Where I set girls up we kept a card index and would ask the girls who were there how it was. Then we had notes for further use. It often wasn't that someone was better/worse, rather that certain families were better for outgoing/quiet or frum/BT or people who wanted an 'experience'/ people who wanted a quiet Shabbat. (Hope I haven't scared anyone off offering Shabbos to girls in sem ) The sem has a certain amount of responsibility towards where they send the girls. |
ok, I understand what you are saying, but I am telling you that the schools that I talked to do not know where my husband davens and did not ask. they just asked where we live and that was it. they do not know ppl that we know so what you are saying is not possible in this case.
is it possible that in more charedi sems and yeshivot they do more background searching about the family?
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ceo
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Tue, Sep 26 2006, 8:36 pm
| shabbatiscoming wrote: | | is it possible that in more charedi sems and yeshivot they do more background searching about the family? |
I did shabbos placement in a seminary for a while. Nope! No one checks out anyone. You hear that the guy learns in kollel X or lives in neighborhood B, and you assume they're okay. We always had the girls report back to us if there were problems, and every week I did have to cross names off the list! : 
I found that habbos placement was a VERY time consuming job. I was just so thankful when someone said "Sure!" that it never occured to me to "check into anyone." Beggars can't be choosers!
BTW, I was thrilled when that job ended! I only did it for a few months, while the regular person wasn't able to.
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amother
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Tue, Sep 26 2006, 8:41 pm
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shanie - why not call your cousin (Rochel F) who is very hospitable?
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shanie5
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Tue, Sep 26 2006, 11:06 pm
Thank you to all those who offered. In reference to sending my daughter to someone I met on the internet, I can check them out by reading their posts!! (my dd did request that I not send her to anyone who might try to blow her up  ).
she has a place for yomtov, (my sisters friend) and is going to one of you for shabbos. (thank you-you know who you are).
she will be going to a home where they keep one day yt, but said they would make sure it was a nice 2nd day for her and the friend she is bringing. | Quote: | | I can practically guarantee her a miserable time under such circumstances. | My dd is the type to make the best of any situation-she wont let it be a miserable time!!
sarayehudis my dd is in harnof.
kmelion- thanx for the offer, there are some girls who want to stay in harnof, but eat out. how many might your aunt want?
amother-do you have rochel f 's #? I dont!! how about you pm it to me.
thanx redsea 
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ceo
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Wed, Sep 27 2006, 12:05 pm
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shanie, I am glad that everything is working out. I hope that your daughter has a wonderful succos in e"y!
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shanie5
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Thu, Sep 28 2006, 2:31 pm
Just wanted to share a story that came out of this post.
kmelion offered her aunt and uncle, and pm'ed me with their names. I recognized the name, and asked for more info-sure enough, they are family friends. kmelions uncle was about bar mitzvah age when my parents rented an apartment from his parents! my mom was expecting me at the time. both families have kept up over the years (I knew that they made aliyah), and now, another generation gets to meet!!
It really is a small world.
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amother
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Thu, Sep 28 2006, 11:04 pm
| shanie5 wrote: | | amother-do you have rochel f 's #? I dont!! how about you pm it to me. |
718 (yes!) 360-5032
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shanie5
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Fri, Sep 29 2006, 9:39 am
thank you, but you just posted someones tel # on the web where anyone can now get it. And you cant remove it cuz you did it under amother. please contact a mod and ask her to remove it-its not fair to rochel!!!!!!!!!!!!
also, I need her israel # for my dd to call her-she cant call america to reach israel!!!!! (she can, but its ridiculous to do so!)
and dont post it here!!!!
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amother
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Fri, Sep 29 2006, 12:04 pm
571-1544 (Isareli #)
Don't see a problem posting it. Anybody who wants to call a stranger and sound like a fool is welcome to do so  But if you say you read this, a moderator can delete!
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SimchaSays
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Wed, Aug 14 2013, 4:53 pm
LOL readin this 7 years later and cracking up. Thank you all who helped and offered and gave advice. Just so ya know, I came out alive. And really enjoyed that sukkot!
Thanks Mom!
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greenfire
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Wed, Aug 14 2013, 5:29 pm
| SimchaSays wrote: | LOL readin this 7 years later and cracking up. Thank you all who helped and offered and gave advice. Just so ya know, I came out alive. And really enjoyed that sukkot!
Thanks Mom! |
you're excused then ... quite FUNny that you are here now
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