PSA: Babysitting etiquette for moms who hire teen sitters

ra_mom

Fri, Jun 10 2011, 3:50 pm

amother wrote:

This reminds me of a time (I was about 17) when VERY wealthy friends of my parents went away and asked me to sleep over there for 3 days to watch their three kids.
I worked so hard getting all three kids up, dressed for school and fed in the morning; then bringing kids home from school, feeding, bathing, homework, bedtime etc.
They came back and asked me how much I wanted-- I said I had no idea how much one charges for a stay-away job, because none of my friends had ever had a job like that. She said, ok, I'll give you what I feel is right. She paid me, no joke, $60 for ALL 3 days and nights.

I was absolutely devastated, my parents were beyond mad and called the woman and she offered to pay the grand sum of $3 more per day! My parents never spoke to them again because they were so insulted; I never babysat for them again.

Now I have my own child b'H, I am very careful in paying and tipping, I am very careful to ask what one charges, and I always make sure to leave drinks, snacks etc. Especially b/c I know DS will be awake, I try and use the same babysitter so that noone has a hard time with him.

I'm beyond shocked.

life'sgreat

Fri, Jun 10 2011, 4:03 pm

ra_mom wrote:

life'sgreat wrote:

Raisin wrote:

life'sgreat wrote:

yummy2 wrote:

Mamabear, if my child threw up, I would want to be called

.

I think a child needs their mother when they vomit.

you would want your kid to not be cleaned up and left in the vomit till you came home?

I'd want her to clean up the vomit, but I'd come right home anyway.

I'd want her to clean up the child, as in change the child into something clean and wipe the child down as necessary, but I wouldn't expect her to clean up the vomit.
I would be okay with a heap of vomit clothes and vomit being left on the floor.
I don't think it's fair to ask a teenager to clean the house of my child's vomit.
But I would expect a call so that I could decide if I need to head home.

Right.

yummy2

Fri, Jun 10 2011, 4:06 pm

mamabear, if your child has reflux, I would tell the sitter in advance, leave papertowel, change of clothes, instruct what should be done... this will save both you and her the panick mode.
babysitters work for every penny. btdt, I know firsthand.
I try to take only mature high school girls who my children know. and I am very prompt with returning time. you have to respect them as well. food and nosh handy, instructions not to open door for anyone... and to call ANYTIME.

yummy2

Fri, Jun 10 2011, 4:10 pm

as far as how to deal once the child threw up, I would very politely ask, I hope you dont mind, but please, once baby is cleaned, changed, and calm, if you dont mind wiping the throw up with paper towel. I'll CLEAN when I get home. I dont see why this would be any differant than a very loose bowel movement. not so appealing, but things do occur in a days work. thats what I pay you well for. well maning $10 an hour. and if you do have a situation as such, out of mentchlichkeit, yes, I would give extra.

amother

Fri, Jun 10 2011, 4:16 pm

amother wrote:

That's awful. I had a similar job, housesitting and watching 3 kids (they were older, maybe 10 - 15) when I was about 19 yrs old and they paid me $50 per day. And that was nearly 20 years ago!

Barbara

Fri, Jun 10 2011, 4:21 pm

life'sgreat wrote:

ra_mom wrote:

life'sgreat wrote:

Raisin wrote:

life'sgreat wrote:

yummy2 wrote:

Mamabear, if my child threw up, I would want to be called

.

I think a child needs their mother when they vomit.

you would want your kid to not be cleaned up and left in the vomit till you came home?

I'd want her to clean up the vomit, but I'd come right home anyway.

Right.

Yech.

The stench of vomit, left for any time, will be difficult to get rid of and, frankly, would make me sick. Then again, *I* get sick when I have to clean up my own kid's vomit.

IOW, I would anticipate that a a sitter would make some efforts to clean up, even if its just stripping a bed and throwing the sheets in a laundry basket, or throwing a towel down to wipe up the mess. But I would never expect anyone other than a professional nanny to watch a sick kid. And a kid who is throwing up is sick. (There is a difference between reflux and vomit.)

mom23

Fri, Jun 10 2011, 4:23 pm

amother wrote:

Unbelievable! I once had an 18 year old stay the night from 6:00 PM - 9:00 AM. She gave my kids supper, put them in PJ's and to bed. She got up in the AM and got them ready for school. And I paid her $125.00 and I wasn't sure that it was enough. I felt this was a huge responsibility on her part and I had to pay her accordingly.

Chayalle

Fri, Jun 10 2011, 4:23 pm

ra_mom wrote:

amother wrote:

I'm beyond shocked.

I think this just underscores what can happen when a price is not agreed upon in advance. The above should never have occurred - because the poster should have made up at the get-go how much she wants for 3 days of childcare.

Fox

Fri, Jun 10 2011, 4:34 pm

I agree that babysitters need to be clear about their prices. However, many teenage girls, especially younger teenagers, have not developed the assertiveness needed. They have been drilled in school to show "respect" to adults, and they are often afraid that they will be branded as "chutzpadik" or "bratty" if they appear too firm in their requirements.

I've always had mixed feelings about parental involvement. On one hand, I'm a firm believer in kids' handling situations on their own; on the other hand, there are plenty of people who, even unconsciously, take advantage of girls' inexperience in negotiating wages and working conditions -- making the kids even less confident in their own abilities. I generally have gotten involved only when the situation was really egregious, and frequently my advice has been to simply turn down future jobs with offending families.

Boruch Hashem, the vast majority of babysitting clients are really very nice, very appreciative, and treat their babysitters very well!

life'sgreat

Fri, Jun 10 2011, 4:37 pm

Barbara wrote:

Agreed that it smells awful. And I get sick too (to the point of vomiting myself) when I need to clean vomit, let alone if it's been sitting for a while.

My son vomits when he's nervous so it isn't always a sign that the child is sick.

life'sgreat

Fri, Jun 10 2011, 4:38 pm

Fox wrote:

I think it's up to the parents of the babysitter to teach their daughter to be assertive about the price.