Was your son's bris hard for you? (poll)

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Relationships -> Simcha Section

Previous 1 2 3 Next

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

Was your son's bris hard?

Yes

44%

[ 50 ]

55%

[ 62 ]

Total Votes : 112

Ruchel

Mon, Aug 08 2011, 4:01 pm

Morah I don't know! I have friends who were excited, even impatient!

DefyGravity

Mon, Aug 08 2011, 4:06 pm

I was nervous about having to socialize with people all while having very little sleep, and was worried there wouldn't be enough food. Those fears were both unfounded. The bris was a nice event and we had plenty of food leftover that we were able to freeze and use later on.

I wasn't worried about the bris itself, nor did I feel very bad for my son. I stood at the front of the hall during the bris and took pictures, because I knew if I didn't take them, we wouldn't have pictures at all. I'm glad I did because I have great pictures of my father holding my son. IMO, it was a very happy event, and I'm glad I was there for the entire thing. I also had no problems changing the diaper afterward.

lkwdmommy

Mon, Aug 08 2011, 4:14 pm

Just curious - do all you ladies who went hysterical at the bris do the same when the babies get their immunizations?

I did not attend the bris of any of my kids, but I felt utmost confidence in the Mohelim (we used one for my oldest DS and a different one-different city-for the others). My heart still went down to my stomach, when I sent the baby away, but they all came back sleeping and neat (except for the stretchy snaps not being closed up) - and, most of all, a pure Jew, descendant of Avrohom Avinu.

Ruchel

Mon, Aug 08 2011, 4:21 pm

I do find a bris much more frightening than a shot.

chocolate moose

Mon, Aug 08 2011, 4:58 pm

No - I thought it was great !

wifey

Mon, Aug 08 2011, 5:04 pm

It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I didn't stop crying from the time I handed him off until he was back in my arms. And the mohel is someone we are very close to. But he is still my baby and I even though I was excited to bring him into Am Yisrael and name him for 2 amazing people I had a very hard time with it. I thought I would stay in the back of the room but in the end was as close as I could get (not looking at the actual bris milah though) because I felt like when my child is in pain/going through something he should have his mommy close by. I really didn't expect myself to react like that.

eschaya

Mon, Aug 08 2011, 5:12 pm

My experience with ds1 was pretty bad. First of all, he was a preemie (bris when he was 1 month) and so tiny and delicate and my need to protect him was so strong. But the most important factor was the mohel. He was Israeli, didn't speak English, didn't really speak to mothers, was very brusque and quick. Yes, he is very professional and proficient - he does hundreds of brissim a year - but from the beginning he ignored me, tried to rush and start the bris before my fil and dh's rosh yeshiva were there (he had another bris that morning), and then after the bris he told my mother how to take care of my baby... helloooow!! I'm the mother, I'm taking care of the kid, I'm changing the diaper, my mother is going back to the states in 2 days. I know that in Israel many new mothers move in with their mothers and that's probably why he ignored me, but I was hopping mad. Then a few days later he came to check on my ds... but didn't let me know he was coming, instead calling my dh at yeshiva. So I'm in bed in my pjs when I hear my baby screaming... I run out (minimally dressed) and find the mohel inspecting my baby with my father (who had opened the door) at his side. I started yelling at this mohel in my fragmented hebrew... it was bad. But despite feeling sick at the bris itself, I was able to be at the seuda the whole time and was able to change the diapers afterward with only minimal discomfort (I'm a nurse, so wounds don't bother me in general, though a wound on my kid is not just any wound!)
With ds2 it was much better; he was hearty and zaftig, the mohel was gentle and respectful and amazing in baby care (he spent time teaching me how to swaddle the kid!!). Like with ds1 the actual bris was painful for me, but the overall experience was positive.

Raisin

Mon, Aug 08 2011, 5:14 pm

another hard hearted mother over here. the actual moment when the baby is crying and I know he is in pain or discomfort is hard but once that is over I (and baby) am fine. It's similar to a vaccinaton for me.

I'm happy I was close by and able to comfort baby straight away. wouldn't want to leave that to a plastic bottle.

we are happy when we have girls to avoid the whole hassle of arranging a bris. both times our sons had jaundice and we had to take them for a million prick tests.

Laughing Bag!

Mon, Aug 08 2011, 5:18 pm

I didnt go to bris but wasnt feeling good even so I wasnt even the one to dress him and see him off.
I was thinking of him andsilently crying from joy though. its such a great mitzvah even if he cries were doing it for hashem and he loves our tears! bh we had an excellent Mohel.

sugarplum

Mon, Aug 08 2011, 5:22 pm

E#xtremely ! I burst into tears as soon; as I handed him over to the kvater cried and cried and had a really hard time getting over it . I felt like I have to protect him and here 'I am giving him over . Untill I convinced myself that its for his best.

DefyGravity

Mon, Aug 08 2011, 5:23 pm

Raisin wrote:

we are happy when we have girls to avoid the whole hassle of arranging a bris. both times our sons had jaundice and we had to take them for a million prick tests.

Yes, it was such a pain taking them to the doctor to get pricked every couple days. They also had to stay in the hospital the first week to be under the lights. That was a lot more difficult than the bris!

torahtots

Mon, Aug 08 2011, 6:14 pm

The bris itself was not hard for me. I felt like I wasn't even there, like I was hovering over the scene, kind of like an out-of-body experience. I was also distracted by my 2-yr-old who kept saying she was hungry!

The circumstances around the bris were hard though. He was born a week before Rosh Hashana and had jaundice so I had to take him back to the hospital every day, including the first day of R"H, to find out if he could have his bris on the second day. So I couldn't tell anyone about it - I basically said "there might or might not be a bris at such and such a time at such and such a shul" - and no one could come b/c it was in the middle of R"H davening (between Torah reading and shofar blowing) so they wouldn't have a seat at my shul and couldn't leave their shul in the middle and risk missing shofar!

We also didnt know if we should make a seudah so we got some food but not a lot. We had to beg people from shul to come home with us after davening. We had such a random conglomeration of cousins' 13-yr-old sons, people we barely knew, etc, b/c most people either had to get home b/c they were expecting company or had to go to their hosts and couldn't keep them waiting! We had 9 men and had to pull one in off the street. And basically everyone just made motzi, bentched, and ran! And of course no pictures! It was crazy.

The hardest for me was the diapers. I think I only changed one and b"H my parents did the rest.

ElTam

Mon, Aug 08 2011, 7:28 pm

I just had a thought for mothers who are dreading this. All our brothers, fathers, DHs went through this and I don't know any who remember it!

Very Happy

saw50st8

Mon, Aug 08 2011, 9:17 pm

Bris #1 was hard. Bris #2 was way harder because my son needed to be stitched down a second time. It was literally torture for both me and my son. I had to send DH out (it was done later) because I knew he would faint.

#3 was a girl, which was a good thing because I may very well have kidnapped my child and ran away if he had to have a bris. I'm only slightly exaggerating.

Rodent

Mon, Aug 08 2011, 11:53 pm

I hated handing my boys over. The first time I bawled (baby didn't even cry). The other 3 times have been easier, no crying, but I still hate doing it. With #4 we only had a few people so did it in the dr/mohel's office. I let the men in and waited outside that time, I have no desire to be there when I can't do anything but do stay if there is more space/in a synagogue etc. My husband holds for the naming so it's someone somewhat familiar. Our mohel is exceptional, I don't really worry about that aspect.

718

Tue, Aug 09 2011, 12:13 am

I was like many other women on this forum.... handing over the baby was torture. I was crying and shaking. My stomache was turning a week before the bris.

The first day my son was screaching- so dont tell me it doesnt hurt...

Of course I wouldnt have it any other way,

gold21

Tue, Aug 09 2011, 12:30 am

with ds1, I was nervous and felt helpless prior to the bris. at the bris, I cried and felt faint, so I sat down and sipped orange juice, and held onto my mom and sisters. with ds2, I was hysterical the night before (which was also his shalom zachor as he was born shabb morning) and considered running away with him. at the bris, I sat outside the shul and cried and held onto my aunt. whatever.

torahtots

Tue, Aug 09 2011, 2:28 am

I know someone who, after her son's bris, asked the mohel for a bracha for only girls from then on. He gave it to her and since then she has only had girls.

SavtaHelen

Tue, Aug 09 2011, 7:56 am

both DS1 and DS2 had complications after birth (thank G-d both are now married men with children of their own!) and their britot were delayed until they were each about three weeks old. That part was hard; the brit was a piece of cake after that!

DS3 had his brit on time and I was so grateful to HaShem for that; so again the brit was easy. We also had an excellent mohel, the same one for all of the boys.

Liba

Tue, Aug 09 2011, 8:15 am

It was hard, but my son was also a month old and didn't deal with the pain well at all. His NICU nurse was there and when people told me he was okay, her response was, "No he is not!" We spent the rest of the day trying to decide if we needed to bring him back to the hospital or not. He went from pretty pink to grey and lethargic... It was scary.

Before:

After:

Page 2 of 3

Previous 1 2 3 Next