How much $ do you make?

amother

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 1:29 pm

We live on basics with very little help and as hard as it is I am very happy with the choices we have made. DH has a job that he loves and gets spiritual satisfaction from. IYH there is a good chance one day he could buy the business from his employer. I work part time with every intention of increasing my hours as DS gets bigger.

We make approx 42k a year and have weaned off almost all parental support. The only help we currently get is that my father pays my cell phone bill and that MIL lets us rent out an apartment that she inherited. I feel like that is more work for us then help but I am grateful for it. We pay for the maintenance, we get the tenants the whole deal. No WIC, foodstamps etc. DS has insurance through the state but the income threshold is very high (I believe 60k.) We eat mostly dairy/pareve but one meat meal a week usually when chicken or ground meat is on sale.

95% of the time I am very happy with my choices. I am human and no tzadekes and have my moments of wanting something expensive but I really feel like I made the best choice for me.

mha3484

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 1:39 pm

The only help I got from my parents were things that were mandated in their divorce settlement- I.e. help with my education. Anything else was out of the goodness of my fathers heart and I was prepared for him to say no more. When he decided that he could no longer help me with a specific thing I said thank you and figured out how to it myself. I always thought I was normal also. This site has me wonder sometimes.

amother

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 1:41 pm

My husband and I make, combined, right around $100k (though it can fluctuate because my husband works partly on commission).

We own our 3-bedroom home and our mortgage payment is $1600 per month.

We pay $900 a month pre-tax for family health insurance through my employer, but my DH's employer subsidizes for my DH's share because he can't offer health coverage (and our cost is going to decrease soon because I am switching plans).

We have one baby and pay our daycare over $800 a month (which will also soon be slightly decreasing, because I can enroll in our flexible spending account and pay pre-tax).

We have one car that we bought new a year ago ($260 a month payment) in a place where you need to drive to get around (OOT), but my DH works from home so he only occasionally needs a car so we make it work to just have one.

Our food costs are crazy high and I haven't ever figured out why, but I haven't tried super hard to budget either. We do have a lot of guests for Shabbos almost every week and I don't bargain hunt much.

Our only debt besides home and car is my student loans, which we pay $500 a month on. After paying all our bills, we usually have a bit we put away, split between savings an extra retirement income (we both contribute to 401(k)s through work also).

We live what I consider to be comfortably - but I think it's all relative. I was musing to my DH one evening about how we consider ourselves lucky to have everything that we do - but some people in our situation would consider our home too small and our car not fancy enough and bemoan their lives of having exactly what we have. But I'd rather look at it the way we do.

33055

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 1:53 pm

amother wrote:

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

Most kollels you know give $400/week? Where can I sign up?

My dh gets $1000/month for part time kollel (1 seder a day). FTers here get much more. I assume that is above average though.

You do realize your husband's one seder is above this rate? At $400 a week fulltime that is $1720 monthly. So it is not out of line.

I know several families that receive this income.

I know one Kollel family that supplements their income by a bit over $150 a week. The husband attends certain minyans and receives payment for same. I know of another that availed themselves of this opportunity; but I don't know how much the husband received.

ora_43

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 1:54 pm

yoshi wrote:

I'm not about to publicize our household income, but I was curious about something. Is it common for children to get assistance from their parents? We never received financial support, but I always assumed I was in the majority when in came to that. What

I think it is, at least in middle class and upper-middle-class communities.

For some (most?) support is in the form of helping with college tuition. Financial aid is given based on parents' salary, that's how much it's assumed they'll be helping.

In communities where not everyone goes to college, or in Israel where college is cheap but you need a big down payment to buy housing, help comes in different forms (namely, a monthly check or lump sum for down payment respectively). Not everyone gets help but most parents who can afford to help, do.

amother

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 1:58 pm

Squishy wrote:

amother wrote:

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

Most kollels you know give $400/week? Where can I sign up?

My dh gets $1000/month for part time kollel (1 seder a day). FTers here get much more. I assume that is above average though.

You do realize your husband's one seder is above this rate? At $400 a week fulltime that is $1720 monthly. So it is not out of line.

Yes, obviously I do. That's why I responded as such to Hashem Yaazor.

My dh also supplements his income by being baal koreh, baal tefila, learning with baalei batim, tutoring, etc. He is working or learning almost every waking minute. Kollel does not mean lazy.

MrsDash

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 2:04 pm

ora_43 wrote:

yoshi wrote:

I've never asked for money. They never offered either. I think I would feel awkward asking for money though... Can you give my father a call, and ask him to help pay for my schooling, and down payment for a house Very Happy

amother

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 2:05 pm

I make $33,500 gross a year with a full time (9-5) job.
DH is in kollel. He gets $500 from second seder, $300 from night seder, first seder is "free" (but he has a GREAT chavrusa). he also does a small side job that makes around $200 a month. so he brings in approx $1,000 a month .

So altogether our gross annual income is about $45,500

Rent is $650 a month.

We dont pay for our cell phone bills (would be $30/month if we did since added to my parents plan)

We dont pay daily babysitting for our 5 month old since my mother takes him. We may have to start paying when I have my second in about 7 months. (!) Dunno that she will be able to handle 2 babies, but I guess it will also depend on how easy/hard the next one is.

We do not qualify for food stamps or HEAP.
We do qualify for medicaid- tho I am on my parents insurance as well since I am under 26 (thanks to obama care) but Dh and Ds are only on medicaid
We would qualify for WIC but at this point I dont have time to spend a day in the office once every few months.

33055

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 2:15 pm

yoshi wrote:

In a lot of circles, it is common for each set of parents to spend $50,000 marrying their kids off. The kids start out with everything. Often the first year's rent is negotiated.

It is common in my circles for the grandparents to pay for summer camp. There is line on the tuition assistance application for who pays for summer camp. Grandparents often pay for braces also.

I plan to assist my children. I want them to have their education paid for and a house to live in. Hopefully, by offering them a house, they won't move far.

33055

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 2:22 pm

amother wrote:

Squishy wrote:

amother wrote:

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

Most kollels you know give $400/week? Where can I sign up?

My dh gets $1000/month for part time kollel (1 seder a day). FTers here get much more. I assume that is above average though.

You do realize your husband's one seder is above this rate? At $400 a week fulltime that is $1720 monthly. So it is not out of line.

Sorry, by "it" I thought you meant the $400 a week. It was not clear. Did I ever say anywhere that kolleh meant lazy?

MrsDash

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 2:26 pm

Squishy wrote:

yoshi wrote:

Where are these circles, and how do I sign up!

ora_43

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 2:26 pm

yoshi wrote:

I didn't say your parents should be helping you Wink

. Just that it's standard in certain communities.

I'm surprised you haven't heard of people being helped. If you're in school - most people you know are paying all of their own tuition? When I was in school in the states most people had at least some help from family (most worked, too, but they weren't going it 100% alone).

BTW it's usually schooling OR a monthly check OR help toward a down payment... in Israel the latter is common, but most people pay for school with their army grant money not with parents' help. At least in my circles.

33055

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 2:28 pm

amother wrote:

What state are you in?

amother

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 2:31 pm

My husband and I have an approximate gross income of 70K. Net is probably about 60K.
Our expenses are as follows:
Rent: $1350 monthly
Telephone/internet - $180 (includes cell)
Babysitting for baby - $450 monthly
Tuition for older kid: $3600 annually
Car lease: $200 monthly
Gas/tolls: $ 400 monthly
Auto insurance: $160 monthly
Groceries: $800 monthly (pproximate number included diapers)
Insurance - me and dh - partly covered by employer - $280 monthly
Kids insurance - $60 thru child health plus
CC payments (some debt from when husband was out of job) - $200
Cleaning lady once a week/ cleaners for shirts - about $160 monthly
Husband's office space: $100 monthly

Our income covers our budget plus different purchases each month like shoes for kids, dh or myself, clothing for new season, gifts when needed, dental work ( I don't have dental coverage and both of us have terrible teeth).
We never buy anything expensive, clothing is cheap (target, old navy), no big purchases. And we don't manage to save a/t on a monthly basis. So yes, people making 150K that have three older kids and pay 10K + in tuition per kid, are probably barely managing to cover their budget.

amother

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 2:32 pm

ora_43 wrote:

yoshi wrote:

I don't think of paying for college as "financial support." In my upper-middle-class upbringing, college education is part of the parents' responsibility of childrearing. For kids who are not cut out for college, parents do what they can to help the kid get ready for adult life (vocational training, seed money for a business, etc).

"Financial support" to me means ongoing payments. I have no idea if this is common or not - once again in my upper-middle-class upbringing, we do not discuss such things. My parents were very comfortable, as the saying goes, and have been generous with cash gifts over the years, but fortunately dh and I have been self-sufficient (if perhaps less-comfortable than the parents) from the beginning of our marriage.

It is not unusual for people of my age and background (mid-40's and you know it already, upper middle class) to be less well-off than their parents who benefitted from a magically growing economy during much of their working years. I would not be surprised if some now-retired well-to-do parents were still giving support, but I couldn't tell you how common.

MrsDash

Tue, Mar 27 2012, 2:32 pm

ora_43 wrote:

yoshi wrote:

I didn't say your parents should be helping you Wink

My parents paid for my siblings college before they got married. I got married before getting certifications, and starting college. (Darn, should have waited LOL

)