Happy Endings in Binah

random

Mon, Apr 23 2012, 8:57 pm

I just read through this whole thread, and I have to admit I'm kinda surprised. I didn't think that Leba's story was so crazy, but Aliza was making me so mad - why is it okay for a girl to completely lie to her chasson to "test" him? I heard this once in sem, where a teacher said not to spill coffee on him on purpose to see how he'll respond, and I was in shock that she was actually being serious - I.e. that it needed to be said!!

I was glad they stopped it because I didn't want to read about a world where that actually was even considered. That definitely bothered me more than a story about a woman going through struggles in motherhood.

kalsee

Tue, Apr 24 2012, 1:56 am

Quote:

sleepwalking wrote:

TranquilityAndPeace wrote:

Mama Bear wrote:

I am writing "Journey to Motherhood".

Wow! Kuddos to you, Mama Bear!

Every few weeks I learn about a new author that I "know" from this forum!

Would someone make a post about all of them, so I don't need to worry about missing anyone? I know that Seraph is Ronit of Ami, Clarivka is Bluma of Ami, write-on is Riva Pomerantz.... who else did I miss?

Scotty is etka gitl schwarts,bundy is Batya Ruddel...

ILOVELIFE works for Binah. Sarah Shapiro has an account with under 10 posts.
I am almost positive that there is also at least 1 other Binah writer and 2 Ami columnists on here.

If I'm not mistaken - Malia Hecht ("medical student") is JAWSCIENCE.

m in Israel

Tue, Apr 24 2012, 7:48 am

I just found this thread, and I'm finding it funny, because after that abrupt "ending" I could not figure out what was so controversial about this serial! I asked my mother and sisters and we were all trying to figure it out. We also kind of assumed it had something to do with the shidduch part -- the whole "marrying for money" presumption -- maybe it makes Bnei Torah look bad, etc.!!! I never would have guessed the "problem" was Leiba!

Maybe it's just me, but I didn't find it unreasonably "dark" or "depressing". I thought it gave a very realistic portrayal of the feeling of being overwhelmed that many mothers of multiple young children feel. I actually did not personally relate so much (I have worked nearly full time out of the house since I was married, so my personal struggles centered more about feeling I didn't have enough time with my kids, rather than the other was around), but I certainly have friends who I have heard similar things from. In fact, I was a bit disappointed when it seemed they were trying to turn her struggles into PPD. There has been a lot written lately on PPD, and you somehow never see articles about women WITHOUT clinically diagnosable conditions who just need help learning various coping skills and need "permission" to take care of their own emotional needs a bit. I personally feel that a story about a "normal" woman struggling with regular nisyonos, who acknowledges her frustrations and gets some help and support is long overdue!

As for the issue with teenagers reading, I have been saying for a long time that I don't understand why in high school and seminary teachers spend a lot of time discussing the nisayon of "histapkus bmuat" with regard to Kollel life, but nothing else! The challenges with regard to working out of the house, and the challenges with regard to raising your kids are all but ignored. Is it so terrible for teenagers to read a story where a mother is feeling overwhelmed? Or must they thing that it is just "beautiful" and "wonderful" to have lots of little kids, and if you ever feel like you need a bit of support, there is something wrong with you? And for the record, I think having many children is a tremendous zchus and a big bracha -- but it is still normal for the day to day grind to be overwhelming. R' Zehava Braunstein, a"h used to say that no one works as hard physically as the mother of young children. She was a huge proponent of young mothers getting as much help as they possibly could -- I remember her saying on one of her tapes "eat cereal for supper if money is tight, but get yourself some help!!"

And if you as a mother want to make sure your daughter is not exposed to these struggles, then you have the choice to not allow her to read it!!

sunny90

Tue, Apr 24 2012, 8:08 am

m in Israel wrote:

ITA.
I still don't understand why it was such a big deal. Do they think they'll scare girls out of having a baby every year? And why would that be a problem anyway? No one knows before they have kids how hard it will actually be, shouldn't they be a little prepared?

sky

Tue, Apr 24 2012, 8:53 am

kalsee wrote:

Quote:

sleepwalking wrote:

TranquilityAndPeace wrote:

Mama Bear wrote:

I am writing "Journey to Motherhood".

Scotty is etka gitl schwarts,bundy is Batya Ruddel...

ILOVELIFE works for Binah. Sarah Shapiro has an account with under 10 posts.
I am almost positive that there is also at least 1 other Binah writer and 2 Ami columnists on here.

If I'm not mistaken - Malia Hecht ("medical student") is JAWSCIENCE.

I didn't realize that one.

Tzipi Caton is on here also.

Chayalle

Tue, Apr 24 2012, 11:33 am

m in Israel wrote:

As for the issue with teenagers reading, I have been saying for a long time that I don't understand why in high school and seminary teachers spend a lot of time discussing the nisayon of "histapkus bmuat" with regard to Kollel life, but nothing else! The challenges with regard to working out of the house, and the challenges with regard to raising your kids are all but ignored. Is it so terrible for teenagers to read a story where a mother is feeling overwhelmed? Or must they thing that it is just "beautiful" and "wonderful" to have lots of little kids, and if you ever feel like you need a bit of support, there is something wrong with you? And for the record, I think having many children is a tremendous zchus and a big bracha -- but it is still normal for the day to day grind to be overwhelming. R' Zehava Braunstein, a"h used to say that no one works as hard physically as the mother of young children. She was a huge proponent of young mothers getting as much help as they possibly could -- I remember her saying on one of her tapes "eat cereal for supper if money is tight, but get yourself some help!!"

And if you as a mother want to make sure your daughter is not exposed to these struggles, then you have the choice to not allow her to read it!!

This.

My 13 1/2 year old DD reads (what interests her in) Binah. I have no objections. She absorbs at her own level, and if she gets that message that life is not always roses, but you can reach out for help and work at making things better, then that is a message that I want her to learn and know. She also knows that I'm available to discuss anything she reads and questions, or needs help understanding.

And anyone who wants to raise children who live in lalaland is free to do so. Just tell them that Binah is for Mommies.

syrima

Mon, May 07 2012, 10:36 am

Hope it's not too late to add to this subject. I was also shocked that they pulled the story. I identified with Leba very much, although ironically her underlying problem was that she lost her mother. My problem was that my mother LOVED being a sahm SOOOO much that I felt I could never complain or feel bored being a mom.

Here's a new conspiracy theory:
I thought the whole dating thing with Aliza and Aryeh was too long and drawn out for the strictly Chassidish crowd. I bet they complained -they don't want their daughters reading this stuff! Maybe they will get this strange idea that you should actually get to know your chassan before you get engaged. And they have cornered the market bc if they ban Bina subscription rates will drop by 50%.
Meanwhile the rest of us can always go read something else.
Grrrrrr. Really mad about this. Exploding anger

tweek

Mon, May 07 2012, 12:48 pm

Hate to shoot your "theory" down so quickly, but there have been many stories written which describe the "not Chassidshe" dating process. They even describe the dates themselves, and they have never been shot down by "those terrified Chassidishe mothers who are worried their teenagers will learn about others getting to know their chassun before getting married".

Your post smacks of anti chassidish feelings because you bring a totally unrelated topic into something which others felt strongly about (including many Chassidish imamothers who were dissappointed that the story was cut short).

I see you are relatively new here. If you want to discuss the chassidish vs. litvish way of getting engaged, do it in a seperate thread. Or you can scroll through the many old threads about this topic that have already been chewed over again and again and again......