Got Your New Clothing/Jewelry Yet?

Motek

Fri, Apr 15 2005, 11:28 am

ForeverYoung wrote:

what a nice thread for all those who can't afford it
(see the who picked your jewelry thread 4 references)

I'd love to know what your point was. Please explain.

note: nobody was asked to say what they bought or what they spent

note: what I quoted is a halacha - how would you have preferred that this halacha be brought to our attention?

rydys

Fri, Apr 15 2005, 11:55 am

I don't think the halacha means that if a woman doesn't want to buy anything new her husband has to force it on her. I think it means that if she wants something new he should buy it for her.

Also, my understanding is that this is not a halacha like eating milk and meat. It is more of an explanation of what it means to enjoy Yom Tov. If a man can't afford to buy meat and wine, he is still yotzei the mitzva of seudas yom tov. Similarly, if he cannot afford to buy his wife a new dress she can still be yotzei the mitzva of simchas yom tov in othe ways.

Tefila

Fri, Apr 15 2005, 11:58 am

And new can mean anything as one poster said socks it doesn't have to be an outfit or cost a certain amount. This thread is different then the Jewllery one b/c size, color and how often was brought there, it turned into a comparison one, this one is not!

Motek

Fri, Apr 15 2005, 12:00 pm

well, as FY has urged us many times: any questions? - ask a rav!

since the Rambam included this as a halacha, not as good marriage advice, maybe it isn't up to us to decide whether it applies to us or not

let's say a man or woman would prefer a sefer/book to the things Rambam says? I dunno. Ask .... a ...... rav. Smile

ilvmommyhood
Guest

Fri, Apr 15 2005, 1:09 pm

I think what fy was saying is that not everyone can afford something new- not even socks. Guess what- Pesach is expensive. Matzah, wine, yom tov meals. than you have second days. Your kids are home the whole week. Oh and don't forget the cost of cleaning for pesach, all the foil, sink inserts, top covering for your counters, knives, pealers, pots, pans (the foil ones aren't even inexpensive if you are outside of ny). I about died when I found out what a sink insert would cost me this year! So sometimes- socks are not even in the budget. Everyone has different financial levels here. Should we make those who can't afford to feel like a bad yid? Thats a shanda! I would rather food on the table than a piece of jewlery or a new outfit. For some- thats a choice they have to honestly make.

sarahd

Sat, Apr 16 2005, 5:14 pm

I must confess that I don't see the point of the thread. I see two possibilities here: either you already knew what the Rambam says or you didn't. If you knew, then either you bought/will buy something or you can't afford to so you won't but you might feel a twinge of envy reading about what others have. If you didn't know, then you might now go to your husband and ask for something, he might be finding himself under financial pressure because of Pesach expenses, and it can become a shlom bayis issue.

In either case, what's to be gained from the discussion?

lucy

Sat, Apr 16 2005, 9:45 pm

In almost any thread one can have a twing of jealousy. A happy marriage, healthy children, one experience pregnancy, having a job/not wanting to go to work & being able to stay home, being able to nurse, even talking about what stroller they have!

So I really think that it's perhaps enough. This is a website and if you don't want to read something then guess what DON"T READ IT!
I may be sounding obnoxious, but if a person is simply just stating a halacha then what is the problem? We're all busy with preparations for pesach cleaning ect. so let us be a little self centered and take a moment to do something special for ourselves lekoved Yom Tov. & for those of you who cannot afford: take a 15 min. walk outside by yourself and enjoy the weather!

ForeverYoung
Guest

Sat, Apr 16 2005, 11:51 pm

Quote:

n almost any thread one can have a twing of jealousy. A happy marriage, healthy children, one experience pregnancy, having a job/not wanting to go to work & being able to stay home, being able to nurse, even talking about what stroller they have!

there is a big difference in sharing a positive experience in order to help another (ie xyz worked 4 me) - and just showing off.

Quote:

what I quoted is a halacha - how would you have preferred that this halacha be brought to our attention?

If you will do a pole, I'm sure over 90% of women did not become members of "halacha of the day shiur", but of a sharing website for Jewish women.

Besides, u didn't write: just in case u were not aware, ...
you wrote:

Quote:

did you buy clothes and jewelry yet?

If the amount of tzedaka requests we get in the mail any indicator, unfortunately there are way too many women who won't get anything at all.

Motek

Sun, Apr 17 2005, 10:16 am

apparently you didn't know about this thread:

http://www.imamother.com/forum.....t=674

we'll expect to see you and sarahd bash this thread too, since it doesn't meet your approval

or maybe it's not the topic of the thread that's bothering you, but who started it ...

Tefila

Sun, Apr 17 2005, 12:34 pm

Quote:

So I really think that it's perhaps enough. This is a website and if you don't want to read something then guess what DON"T READ IT!
I may be sounding obnoxious, but if a person is simply just stating a halacha then what is the problem? We're all busy with preparations for pesach cleaning ect. so let us be a little self centered and take a moment to do something special for ourselves lekoved Yom Tov. & for those of you who cannot afford: take a 15 min. walk outside by yourself and enjoy the weather!

Lucy

It does sound obnoxious !
And yes you have a point totaly!
Also there is a commandment not to be Jealous not just a concept. , and be happy for those that can afford something.
Though I still feel like running away for aday or two, but how about after Pesach Twisted Evil

Lucy can I come to u?

1stimer

Sun, Apr 17 2005, 12:40 pm

ForeverYoung wrote:

what a nice thread for all those who can't afford it
(see the who picked your jewelry thread 4 references)

It says that he who can't afford it should buy his wife a pair of shoes ... obviously not referring to the shoe shops nowadays...!!! Twisted Evil

ooops... hope this won't offend any1 4 being of the topic Exploding anger

Motek

Sun, Apr 17 2005, 12:40 pm

nah, she's not being obnoxious, just stating the obvious in a sensible way

for those who feel angst about other's achievements and acquisitions, make sure NOT TO READ the "How Much Have You Done" in the Housekeeping section!

sarahd

Sun, Apr 17 2005, 4:11 pm

Motek wrote:

What's the matter with a Mitzvah A Day thread? Confused

My guess is that you're referring to the Jewelry thread. Firstly, that thread was not entitled "How much jewelry did you get?". Secondly, since that thread received negative feedback, it might have been a good idea to avoid starting a new thread in the same veîn.

ForeverYoung
Guest

Sun, Apr 17 2005, 5:47 pm

Motek wrote:

apparently you didn't know about this thread:

http://www.imamother.com/forum.....t=674

we'll expect to see you and sarahd bash this thread too, since it doesn't meet your approval

that thread didn;t as anybody about what they purchased, and the title is pretty informative too, tells me exactly what I will read there/

You said: