Tuition worries | Imamother

amother

Tue, Jul 10 2012, 6:01 am

Culturedpearls wrote:

amother wrote:

Thanks

Do the typical Yeshivish seminary's participate in this? example Seminar, Hadar, BJJ, Bnos Chava etc

http://www.masaisrael.org/prog.....layim
http://www.masaisrael.org/programs/bnos-chava

Thank you so much, you really made my day, that my girls might be able to have this opportunity. It is something I really felt bad about.

mummiedearest

Tue, Jul 10 2012, 6:02 am

honestly, if they want to be home for pesach and not burden their parents financially, they can choose a local program associated with an accredited college and apply for financial aid. that would be a help, I'm sure. if they don't want that, they can survive being away for pesach and succos. after hs programs are luxuries. especially if it involved travel costs.

ora_43

Tue, Jul 10 2012, 6:09 am

OP, I do sympathize.

There are all kinds of reasons why some other people might find it easier to afford tuition (better paying jobs, rich parents, jobs that paid better 10 years ago allowing them to make a bigger down payment on their house, etc). But ultimately, I think most people are struggling.

If it helps, remember that the financial stress is temporary, but the mitzva is forever.

Culturedpearls

Tue, Jul 10 2012, 6:13 am

amother wrote:

Culturedpearls wrote:

amother wrote:

Thanks

Do the typical Yeshivish seminary's participate in this? example Seminar, Hadar, BJJ, Bnos Chava etc

http://www.masaisrael.org/prog.....layim
http://www.masaisrael.org/programs/bnos-chava

Thank you so much, you really made my day, that my girls might be able to have this opportunity. It is something I really felt bad about.

My pleasure. On the masa site there's also a list of places that can assist with additional funding which do work in conjunction with masa. So if you get $5k through Masa you could get another few thousand by contacting one of the listed organizations and also by applying for any scholarships the school can offer.

amother

Tue, Jul 10 2012, 7:33 am

amother wrote:

I don't get it. B"H we have children ranging in age from elementary school to Bais Medrash. I don't understand how so many people manage this financially. If we paid full tuition, we would be paying over 80 K a year! I don't even know if we earn that a year! (And dh and I are both hard working.) That doesn't even account for the cost of airfare to bring children home for Yomin Tovim-I'm not even referring to off-Shabbosim. Then, there is the cost of hats, suits, uniforms, etc. We are on public aid health insurance, but I don't know where to go. We have asked for scholarships, etc., but they don't feel like enough. I am so stressed about it. We have received help from some chesed organizations, but it is extremely embarrassing. The recession has hit us hard. We used to pay full tuition and give with an open hand. Now, we are forced to accept. And even worse, ask for it. We live out of town. Please do not suggest now sending our sons out of town for Yeshiva. Yeshiva is like a shidduch and we need to do what is best for our sons' Torah learning.

If nothing else, at least I get to vent where nobody knows my name.

I live out of town too. We're a bit older and came with one of the kollelim. We didn't last as long in kollel as some other families but we definitely helped build the community with out large family, ka"h. People know we keep it real and we've benefited from generous tution assistance. We've managed to give back in some ways, and I hope bli neder we can pay them back.

I don't know how people send their boys away so young. I do understand how local may not work for everyone. People who do may luck out on Spirit cheap flights, or rely on rides. Now that we finally sent a son away - and we bypassed E"Y for him, his rosh yeshiva doesn't steer everyone there - we see how it's done. There is a big difference between what his yeshiva asks for and what they settle for, and we're in the working poor so there's no govt help, but they're still understanding.

As for shidduchim, the girls either look for a boy who's prepared to work sooner rather than later, or who has what it takes to move out of town; depending on their goals they'll get a degree and experience, etc. As for making the chasuna, we live in a generous community and also lucked out with machutanim who made minimal requests, and not because their kids weren't quality and had to settle.

Reading this over I don't know how much practical help I'm giving you. But I can give you some long term chizuk: in this day and age living simply is becoming an anomaly but it can help you raise really healthy kids who WILL thank you and will respect you for being the people you are, and letting them grow into the people they're becoming. B"H we're seeing it now.

amother

Tue, Jul 10 2012, 8:11 am

OP here. I forgot to say how all of our children who are old enough to work are working. Without us asking to, they use the funding to pay for some of their own clothing and "extras". I don't want them to resent our situation. I know that they are not angry at us, but the situation is frustrating for them. Our older children happen to be in Yeshivos with wealthier children. I am afraid that it has given them a taste for a less heimish lifestyle. Interestingly, one of our older children pointed out that he knows that wanting excessive stuff isn't proper, but he have expensive taste. He doesn't mind working for it though.

I feel guilty. I know that this nisayon is from Hashem, but it is still hard.

amother

Tue, Jul 10 2012, 8:48 am

I was in sem in Israel in 1986. Only a very few, VERY wealthy kids went home for Sukkot/Pesach. For the rest of us, it wasn't even an option. So today it's the norm? Wow.

Raisin

Tue, Jul 10 2012, 9:11 am

amother wrote:

I was in sem in Israel in 1986. Only a very few, VERY wealthy kids went home for Sukkot/Pesach. For the rest of us, it wasn't even an option. So today it's the norm? Wow.

airline tickets have gone way down in price. I remember paying pretty much the SAME for a ticket in the 90s that you pay for a ticket today. But every thing else (food housing salaries) have tripled or more.

amother

Tue, Jul 10 2012, 9:24 am

Raisin wrote:

amother wrote:

I was in sem in Israel in 1986. Only a very few, VERY wealthy kids went home for Sukkot/Pesach. For the rest of us, it wasn't even an option. So today it's the norm? Wow.

Huh? I went home for Pesach in 1995, for $575. Haven't HEARD of such prices today.