How to make tichels look professional?

SJcookie

Sat, Jan 12 2013, 7:48 pm

OP, I'm not really sure how you define professional, but here's how I define it: Kol Kvod Bat Melech Pnima. The most important thing is to look professional in HaShem's eyes. That's all.

Many women wear their hair in a bun to work. So, if you want to "blend in" more, I think a subtle tichel tied in a bun-style, would be pretty "professional" looking.

I only wear scarves & hats, and yes, I live in Israel, but I lived in NYC for most of my life AND I worked in professional environments there. I worked in offices, in a school, and in a therapy center.

And guess what? Not one person displayed disrespect towards me for wearing a scarf to work. (And I would experiment with many different styles.) If anyone WOULD comment, they would tell me how beautiful my haircoverings look, and how they look up to me for having the strength to cover my hair. And those words weren't even coming from Jews!

(When I worked in a Jewish school, I also received many compliments/positive comments from frum women.)

On one hand, living in Israel makes it "easier" because so many other women wear tichels, but on the other hand, I didn't feel embarrassed or like it was too difficult in America. I mean, there're enough freaks on the NYC subways and in Brooklyn, Queens, Manhattan, etc., so no one really looks or thinks twice when they see someone look different Very Happy

Wish you a lot of hatzlacha OP!

morah

Sat, Jan 12 2013, 8:08 pm

amother wrote:

morah wrote:

To those saying it can't be done, clearly you are ashkenaz and have a choice. I do not have a choice, my husband is sefardi and his family rav says absolutely no sheital, full stop. Our rav is not sefardi, but I asked about it, and he said if this is my husband's minhag, I have to follow it. When you have no choice because you have to follow your psak, then you find a way to make it work. I currently work in a Jewish environment and can wear what I want on my head, but I have worked in secular environments and its not a problem if you dont draw attention to it. Understated, muted colors, no tails or fringes, secure so you're not fixing it all day, and nobody will blink. You may get asked about it from time to time, but its no different from being asked about why you don't eat BLT.

I thought it was the wife's minhag that is followed on headcoverings.

1. Not everyone agrees on that. My Rav, whose own wife wears a sheital, said to follow my husband's minhag. 2. I don't exactly have a minhag on my side anyway- my mother doesn't cover her hair.

amother

Sun, Jan 13 2013, 12:56 am

I think Muslim ladies' fashion blogs are actually a good source of ideas. We obviously don't tie our scarves the same way, but the color combinations on styles that are tied close to the head are really helpful, as is advice on matching scarves to your outfit.

For example, I think this would look really nice tied as a tichel.
http://www.artizara.com/media/.....d.jpg

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Jan 13 2013, 1:27 am

morah wrote:

amother wrote:

morah wrote:

I thought it was the wife's minhag that is followed on headcoverings.

1. Not everyone agrees on that. My Rav, whose own wife wears a sheital, said to follow my husband's minhag. 2. I don't exactly have a minhag on my side anyway- my mother doesn't cover her hair.

I thought that it was the decision of the wife and/or couple about how the woman should cover their hair. I for one can not follow my husband's minhag as his mother never covers her hair (not even always to shul).
I learned that this is one of those things that the couple has to talk about and decide together, so its each individual couple that is going to choose, not a rav or even mother or mother in law.

busydev

Mon, Jan 14 2013, 12:04 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

morah wrote:

amother wrote:

morah wrote:

I thought it was the wife's minhag that is followed on headcoverings.

1. Not everyone agrees on that. My Rav, whose own wife wears a sheital, said to follow my husband's minhag. 2. I don't exactly have a minhag on my side anyway- my mother doesn't cover her hair.

Also I was thinking... do sefardim hold that not using wigs is a MINHAG or HALACHA? if its halacha you for sure would have to follow dh. Minhag there can be differences of opnions/ideas. or thats my take on it. tho I never heard the hair covering follows the wifes side- only candlelighting and mikva

MaBelleVie

Mon, Jan 14 2013, 12:37 pm

busydev wrote:

shabbatiscoming wrote:

morah wrote:

amother wrote:

morah wrote:

I thought it was the wife's minhag that is followed on headcoverings.

1. Not everyone agrees on that. My Rav, whose own wife wears a sheital, said to follow my husband's minhag. 2. I don't exactly have a minhag on my side anyway- my mother doesn't cover her hair.

Many hold that its assur halachically.

ruti13

Tue, Jan 15 2013, 3:15 pm

I wholeheartedly agree that if you love this mitzvah, love covering your hair, love being Jewish, and are strong and connected with what you do, then you will have no problem covering mitpachot in the workplace... no matter how corporate it gets. There are many classy head coverings out there, and as one poster mentioned, a simple neutral tichel tied in a low bun looks gorgeous with hoop earrings and a suit dress. As well, berets with a jewelled pin look beautiful and professional.

I wear my tichels to work every day as a teacher. I get the most wonderful compliments and questions from my students as well as my coworkers. I truly feel like a queen when I cover my hair in the way that I do, and I know that shines through. I have seen many muslim women in the corporate workforce that cover much more than we do, and don't seem to have any problems. To all the women out there that cover beautifully and answer questions with grace and confidence, you are a kiddush Hashem!

amother

Tue, Jan 15 2013, 3:28 pm

ruti13 wrote:

Who LOVES covering their hair? No one I know! I believe in it, I do it, but I sure as he** don't love it! It's hard!: its your vanity bumped up against your religious beliefs, and though my observance wins out, it doesn't mean that it's not a difficult, sometimes annoying mitzvah that I only love on a 3 day yom tov!

ewa-jo

Tue, Jan 15 2013, 4:30 pm

amother wrote:

ruti13 wrote:

I LOVE COVERING MY HAIR!

Why? Well, I have three small children and if I didn't cover it, I would be one of those mommies with a messy ponytail of hair streaked with greys. Yuck! I don't have the time to style it properly before dropping my kids off at gan in the mornings... I would much rather wear a tichel or hat and look decent than let people see my ugly hair. Before I was married, my hair was nice, but now, I have no time to pay serious attention to it, so the mitzvah to cover my hair is really a chesed to me.

amother

Tue, Jan 15 2013, 10:07 pm

melalyse wrote:

I LOVE COVERING MY HAIR. And although I do wear a sheitel on Shabbos mornings and weddings, I love it so much more when I am wearing scarves and tichels. I really feel beautiful in them.

This is so fascinating to me. I am so sorry to offend, but I've never seen a woman in a tichel and thought she looked anything but comfortable. Certainly not beautiful. Wow. Each to her own, I guess.

seeker

Tue, Jan 15 2013, 10:10 pm

I like covering my hair, but if I had to wear a sheitel every day I would hate it due to discomfort. I feel proud about it, to me it symbolizes being a Jewish married woman and I like what that stands for. I also don't mind that it's so much easier than hair maintenance. I feel like spending time and energy making your hair look right is best left to teenagers. I do sometimes miss having my hair out and pretty but the specialness of covering outweighs that most of the time, and making it look nice for my husband at special times makes up for the rest.

melalyse

Tue, Jan 15 2013, 10:38 pm

amother wrote:

melalyse wrote:

I LOVE COVERING MY HAIR. And although I do wear a sheitel on Shabbos mornings and weddings, I love it so much more when I am wearing scarves and tichels. I really feel beautiful in them.

This is so fascinating to me. I am so sorry to offend, but I've never seen a woman in a tichel and thought she looked anything but comfortable. Certainly not beautiful. Wow. Each to her own, I guess.

I don't just throw a tichel on. Many times I wear a few scarves at once. Different days tied differently. Sometimes with a flower or a pin.

Check out rivkamalka.com or wrapunzel.com and see beautiful women in beautiful hair coverings.

seeker

Tue, Jan 15 2013, 10:42 pm

I was actually once at a wedding (in my sheitel, when I still used to wear it) and saw someone looking so beautiful in a tichel that I ALMOST overcame my ridiculous shyness to ask where-what-how and I wish I had done so. I ended up being too shy to approach her because she was surrounded by friends and I had no idea who any of them were... but it was very nicely done. And not because it was overstated in any way, just modestly beautiful.