Why do people just walk by?

nyer1

Wed, Jan 30 2013, 12:21 pm

gumby wrote:

I have never seen that. Where I live ( in busy Ny) I have personally picked up people off the floor and once tripped and have people come to my aid. I feel horrible for you.

not sure which NY you are referring to. I fell down the subway steps and people LITERALLY climbed over me to catch the train.

MimiMommy

Wed, Jan 30 2013, 12:52 pm

nyer1 wrote:

gumby wrote:

I have never seen that. Where I live ( in busy Ny) I have personally picked up people off the floor and once tripped and have people come to my aid. I feel horrible for you.

not sure which NY you are referring to. I fell down the subway steps and people LITERALLY climbed over me to catch the train.

I've had several times where I'd get on a subway very visibly pregnant, but nobody offered me a seat. But to people's credit, I've also had several people offer to help carry strollers up and down subway steps. I think it depends on who happens to be there when you need help.

lkwdmommy

Wed, Jan 30 2013, 2:04 pm

I am so sorry you had to go throughthis!

I had just the opposite experience. I once fell on the way home from shul and a bunch of men came to check if I was okay. I was mortified - just wanted everyone to look the other way and not see me in this embarrasing position. embarrassed

Barbara

Wed, Jan 30 2013, 2:41 pm

nyer1 wrote:

gumby wrote:

I have never seen that. Where I live ( in busy Ny) I have personally picked up people off the floor and once tripped and have people come to my aid. I feel horrible for you.

not sure which NY you are referring to. I fell down the subway steps and people LITERALLY climbed over me to catch the train.

Well, you know how hard it is to catch a train. Rolling Eyes

But that's never been my experience, either in NY or in the large city I am from. Indeed, motzei Shabbat, we saw a man slip on ice, and my DH helped him up and we stayed to make sure he was OK. Even my teenaged DS has helped people who have fallen.

OP, I hope that you're OK.

amother

Wed, Jan 30 2013, 3:12 pm

Well not many people are nice and kind, only a few, but I also have not experienced this personally, I once hurt my foot very badly because a lady rushed past me and ran over my foot with her luggage and I was kind of standing by a wall in so much pain, I was almost crying, and quite a few people came over to me and asking if I was ok and needed help.
But I know what you mean - when someone shows you kindness it's such a lovely feeling it's like ah, some kind people in the world Very Happy

never know how much a smile can make someone' s day

Liba

Wed, Jan 30 2013, 3:16 pm

I fell a couple months ago, tripped and ended up sitting in the sidewalk. When I got past the pain to look around there was a young couple watching me from about 100 feet away, whispering between themselves. It is a quiet street, so no one else was around. I was embarrassed to have them staring. Once I pulled out my cell phone they looked relieved, decided they were off the hook and left.

I am still not sure what I would have wanted them to do, but it wasn't pleasant.

I am sorry about your pain. I am sorry about your humiliation. I am sorry no one helped you.

If you can get your hands on arnica (homeopathic pills and/or cream from the health food store) it is wonderful for helping to heal bruises.

Refuah shelayma!

Rutabaga

Wed, Jan 30 2013, 10:20 pm

It's terrible that no one even asked if you were ok.

One time on vacation I was holding DD's hand coming off a dock, when I somehow tripped and went sprawling, pulling DD down with me. DD was b"H ok, but scared and crying, and I hurt my ankle and couldn't get up. DH was right behind me, but he couldn't help both of us. Thank goodness for the kindness of perfect strangers! I sent DH to deal with DD, and other people helped me get up and hobble over to a bench.

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Jan 30 2013, 11:05 pm

Liba wrote:

Thanks, I dont have any on me, but the funny thing is, is that I have pain all over my body, but not too many actual bruises, so I am jsut taking it easy today, staying home, staying on the couch for the most part.

bamamama

Wed, Jan 30 2013, 11:35 pm

thatgirl wrote:

Not to mention when I was pregnant and fell down the stairs when all of the men were leaving shul. I almost died of embarassment. But one rabbi yelled "put your dress down". I still cannot believe such a persons words to a pregnant lady on the floor. NO he did not offer to help me up.

KolDodi

Thu, Jan 31 2013, 11:10 pm

I did not read all the responses, but just a drop of a different perspective here. First of all if I was the one walking by I would surely lend a helping hand. No question there. However from the other side of the coin I am a very shy person and if I was the one falling, unless it was a serious fall where I needed medical help (and could not get it myself) I would sort of prefer people not see or pretend to not see. The attention really embarresses me. Again I am not excusing what other people did, because you should not decide for someone else if this is how they feel or not. Just saying....

freidasima

Fri, Feb 01 2013, 12:35 am

Shabbat that is AWFUL! First refuah shleima! Second I always help unless it looks like a dangerous person (think: unkempt man holding a gun as he falls...) and so does my dh, my children, my in law children etc.

It's all in the education. The only think you can do is educate your family to help, that's how it starts.

Culturedpearls

Fri, Feb 01 2013, 1:05 am

Oy, that's so hurtful in everyway.
There was a scandal in EY some time back when a man was thrown off his motor bike on a Tel Aviv highway. Cars kept passing him by lying on the road & no one stopped to help. He died I believe, R"LZ.
I saw the video & it was truly shocking.
Are we really so selfish & self absorbed?

chocolate moose

Fri, Feb 01 2013, 12:23 pm

gumby wrote:

I have never seen that. Where I live ( in busy Ny) I have personally picked up people off the floor and once tripped and have people come to my aid. I feel horrible for you.

Well, if you dropped them or if they otherwise were unhappy with the way you helped them up, they could sue you. It's a sad comment on society.

I was at a Bar Mitzvah and dh had a hunk of meat at the buffet and almost dripped sauce on a little boy's yarmulkah. He tried to move the child out of the way of the sauce, but I said you can't touch other people's kids without permission.

FancyPansy

Sat, Feb 09 2013, 6:45 pm

The first thing my parents were told when they moved to NJ was never to help anybody because they may get sued. huh???

I will share 2 stories:

My closest friend and her husband got attacked by a maniac a few years ago. The guy pulled in front of their suv and hit them head on with his car, the bumper of the maniac's car got stuck on their suv. The guy then got out of his car and started to pull her husband out of the suv window. All this time traffic is blocked in both directions, people were looking out of their windows and NOT ONE person called 911. An off duty police officer who was stuck in the traffic jam got out of his car and heard all the noise, he was the only one who ran to them and intervened. The guy took off on foot, the car he was driving was stolen, and out of all those people who watched only one woman said she would testify in court, then changed her mind and said she couldn't do it.

A woman that I knew since HS, and her husband told me one night her and her husband heard someone screaming on the sidewalk. A man was getting beat up. This woman and her husband closed the drapes, went in the back bedroom and turned on the tv really loud, so they could say they did not hear anything.
I asked her why not call 911, I didn't expect them to run out and get into a fight, but at least call for help, right? She said they "did not want to get involved". That was the last time I spoke to them, I have no respect for people who would do that.

I am sorry to say, I don't expect anybody to help anybody. It makes me want to cry when I see this stuff.