Wouldn't it be fun to be a man? (sometimes!)

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chani8

Tue, Jun 11 2013, 8:04 am

Mrs Bissli wrote:

Reesa wrote:

"Hi Honey, can you have lunch ready for me? I'll be home in 10 minutes"
"What's for dinner tonight? I'm starved"
"I'll be home later. I need to take care of some things"
"I need more clean socks. Can you do more laundry?"
"Gotta run, it's almost shkia"

Huh? I don't get it. Aside from the last sentence, I say these comments fairly frequently to DH.
Why do you have to be a man to make such inquiries/statements?

And some women daven mincha near shkia, too.

chani8

Tue, Jun 11 2013, 8:14 am

I have no desire to be a man.

No, I wouldn't think it fun.

I just want women to be treated like "men," in that we are not zex objects, not second class citizens, and deserve respect and equality in all areas of society.

We'll know that we've reached equality in society, when there are public toilets on all hiking trails.

Merrymom

Tue, Jun 11 2013, 9:39 am

amother wrote:

You all seem to think the main disadvantage to being a man are things a frum man needs to do, like get up for minyan.

So let's set aside the religion aspect for a moment. Who do you think has it easier in general, men or women?

Personally, I think men have a much easier time of life. Biologically, they have less worries (no monthly period, no pregnancy, no birth). Socially, in the dating world, women have the advantage for a short while (till their early 20s) -- afterwards, it's much easier to be a man looking for a partner than the other way around.

There's also social pressure on women to look good. The standards for women are higher. A woman who wants to be considered well-groomed has to spend a considerable amount more of time and money than a man who wants to be considered the same.

I love being a woman but if I am honest, I think a man's life is easier.

I disagree. There's nothing sadder than a widower, a man literally loses his home without his wife. The wife makes the home and in every way enhances his life, even if he's a player it mainly stems from loneliness. I think women can function perfectly fine on their own but just prefer to be married. The Torah even ackowledges this by not requiring a woman to get married.

momX4

Tue, Jun 11 2013, 9:49 am

When I am home with the kids at night its no big deal. When I need to run out at night, DH is BABYSITTING!! I think its weird.

I would love to have 1 day a week where I don't have to worry about the kids or the house. My DH has that all the time. When he wants to go out with me I have to get the kids settled, myself ready, while DH is doing nothing. Not fair!!

But I am a SAHM and DH is out all day. He wished he could be home more, I guess to deal with crazy kids coming off the school bus.

PinkFridge

Tue, Jun 11 2013, 11:19 am

Immediate reaction: shouldn't the question be, WOULD it be fun to have a man?

Sounds like some people need not a wife but a service. If you're burnt out, take a break and go easy on yourself for a bit if possible.

momsters

Tue, Jun 11 2013, 11:28 am

Never want to be a man! Love woman!

mille

Tue, Jun 11 2013, 12:19 pm

Yeah, almost all of those examples are really skewed by (in my opinion) outdated gender roles.

We both cook dinner. We both do laundry. In fact, I generally wait until Sundays to do laundry when he's home so I can get help carrying all the baskets down to the laundry room. We are equal partners.

That said, I don't see the appeal in wanting to switch. I'm fine with who I am, so I don't want to change that in any aspect, really!

Ruchel

Tue, Jun 11 2013, 12:23 pm

Ok, we deal with periods, pregnancies, give birth...

But daily minyan, shaving, 3 davenings a day, tsitsis in summer, being responsible for the house's frumkeit level (I know not all hold the husband is the "rav" of the house)... help!!

causemommysaid

Tue, Jun 11 2013, 12:44 pm

our lives are equally stressful. trading with the hubby would be giving up one set of responsibilities for another.

BatZion

Tue, Jun 11 2013, 1:17 pm

Nah..I wouldn't want the responsibilities that a Jewish man has either...I also don't think women can trade motherhood for anything in the world and the men will never ever have the relationship that a woman has with their child that she carried for nine months inside of her... As much as I agree that men do seem to have to juggle less (in my experience) they have their own worries.

Obviously this discussion will have women answering from their perspective- according to their husbands and other men in their lives so women will also obviously answer according to their roles and relationships. On the whole though? Come on!! Girls have more fun Smile

tsiggelle

Tue, Jun 11 2013, 1:24 pm

Who wants to have a wife ? Not me.

chani8

Tue, Jun 11 2013, 1:35 pm

tsiggelle wrote:

Who wants to have a wife ? Not me.

Well, if she was the domestic obedient type . . . (then she might teach me a thing or two) LOL

tsiggelle

Tue, Jun 11 2013, 1:40 pm

chani8 wrote:

tsiggelle wrote:

Who wants to have a wife ? Not me.

Well, if she was the domestic obedient type . . . (then she might teach me a thing or two) LOL

Well, when you want to make that choice, don't forget to consider the hormone factor and all that entails, women's idiosyncrasies and all. Just to forewarn you.

chani8

Tue, Jun 11 2013, 1:48 pm

tsiggelle wrote:

chani8 wrote:

tsiggelle wrote:

Who wants to have a wife ? Not me.

Well, if she was the domestic obedient type . . . (then she might teach me a thing or two) LOL

Well, when you want to make that choice, don't forget to consider the hormone factor and all that entails, women's idiosyncrasies and all. Just to forewarn you.

Oh gosh. If I were a man I just might consider being gay. LOLOL

HindaRochel

Tue, Jun 11 2013, 1:51 pm

No urge whatsoever to be a man. Except like DrMom said. Okay, then maybe.

flowerpower

Tue, Jun 11 2013, 2:01 pm

You mean dropping into a simcha on the way home from work while I have to do the whole nine yards just to go say mazel tov for one second?
Or come home to a spotless house And the kids are sleeping?
Or not have to worry about monthly visitors or losing the baby fat?
Or not having to wake up seven times a night due to someone crying?

Nah, I'd rather be a woman along with having to deal with all those things all the time!

Clarissa

Tue, Jun 11 2013, 4:37 pm

Just read my post from earlier, and I thought I'd mention an update:

My husband is out this evening, going to a museum with a friend. Fine by me. He told me he'd go food shopping tomorrow night. That's fine with me, too. I said I'll do some of the food shopping today so his shopping list isn't so long and he said not to worry about it. I said I don't mind, and went. So I'll deal with the kids tonight but he'll do what he needs to do tomorrow, and he'll have a good time tonight. If I want to go out with a friend tomorrow night he'll be fine with it, too.

You don't completely have to lose yourself because you're married, in my opinion.

greenfire

Tue, Jun 11 2013, 5:06 pm

tsiggelle wrote:

Who wants to have a wife ? Not me.

um - me [reasons above ^^^]

tsiggelle

Tue, Jun 11 2013, 5:55 pm

greenfire wrote:

tsiggelle wrote:

Who wants to have a wife ? Not me.

um - me [reasons above ^^^]

Sorry dear, it aint a wife you want, it's a maid.

amother

Tue, Jun 11 2013, 6:02 pm

tsiggelle wrote:

greenfire wrote:

tsiggelle wrote:

Who wants to have a wife ? Not me.

um - me [reasons above ^^^]

Sorry dear, it aint a wife you want, it's a maid.

I thought that was what a wife is King

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