Comments on Ongoing Story!

seeker

Sun, Jun 23 2013, 2:46 pm

That's handy! Didn't think to look there, I went back to the main forum list. Thanks.

goodrms

Mon, Jun 24 2013, 8:46 pm

Any ideas for a plot? Should it be Shalom Bayis?

seeker

Mon, Jun 24 2013, 11:47 pm

I like subtle. OK, I guess you need a bit of drama to keep things interesting, but I don't think we need a SB calamity. Life settling in is complicated enough, yknow? We could definitely use more going on than just this newlywed girl, though.

Can we have a brief tutorial on how this ongoing story thing works? As I was posting I kept wondering what would happen if someone else were doing the same at the same time. Are we supposed to coordinate here and then write it out? That seems to zap the fun out of it, no? I don't really get how the whole thing is supposed to go, it just seems interesting.

seeker

Tue, Jun 25 2013, 1:51 am

I should be sleeping but instead I'm intensely craving some form or another of feedback on my installment. Waiting

(No, don't worry, I'm awake because I was doing productive stuff. Until now. Now I am reading this thread wondering why no one has much to say)

Maybe in addition to discussing the plot here, we should also develop the characters so we don't need to sift through everything others wrote 10 times to make sure we're being consistent. For example, we should keep a master list so that if one person mentions that, say, Ariella's father's name is Daniel and he is a lawyer, someone else won't go ahead and hire him as Abe the dentist. I was thinking of tossing in a sister tonight but not sure if others were imagining a different family dynamic.

seeker

Tue, Jun 25 2013, 1:56 am

Oh, and goodrms? I wasn't actually planning to go into detail about this under the assumption that we keep "kosher" here, but... waking up disoriented in the hotel the morning after, why is he wearing PAJAMAS?! I mean, I guess in the real world of frum literature, references to hairy man legs would probably get censored out but pajamas is just too much for me Wink

mandr, I liked the wet basement line. Did we forget to go on with that or are we flashing forward and back? I'm not sure whether to surge ahead or if we should stay focused.

goodrms

Tue, Jun 25 2013, 12:52 pm

seeker wrote:

I was thinking of tossing in a sister tonight but not sure if others were imagining a different family dynamic.

Please go for it! We need some more action.

seeker

Thu, Jun 27 2013, 2:45 am

So it's past my bedtime but I just wanted to jot down a plot idea to see what people think. It may be a little too mundane for drama seekers but we could have several plot lines running at once and this could be the low key one:

I was thinking of introducing a character, neighbor of Ariella & Moshe, also relatively newly married but not as young and fresh-faced and with a chip on her shoulder, feeling like she could never relate to this teeny bopper neighbor with the charmed life, why does everyone think they will be such cute friends when they have nothing in common, etc. She had been an "older single" for a while and is having some identity struggles now feeling like she doesn't quite belong in either camp - not one of the "singles" anymore but not your typical newlywed either, plus trying to reconcile her former independence with finding her feminine side in marriage. Over time they get to know each other, maybe get thrown a little closer by helping each other through some kind of crisis, gradually it comes out that Ariella is actually not shallow at all and they find a lot of common ground to relate. Then she helps bridge the gap that has formed between Ariella and Shira since their friendship was shaken up by Ariella's marriage (because meanwhile they kept growing farther apart; they really still wanted and needed each other very much but they kept rubbing each other the wrong way while trying to come to terms with the new dynamics) - she is the perfect bridge between them because she had that still-single experience while also understands the newly married friend's new considerations. They all grow to accept that things are different but they can adjust and grow with it, and all respect each other's different positions in life.

What ya think? Have name for neighbor?

June

Thu, Jun 27 2013, 3:46 am

good one.
I was trying to think of a good plot, couldn't come up with anything because honestly, most issues are discussed to death in all the different forums here and it would be a little weird to fictionalize some people's very real struggles.
this sounds like a good plot. Thinking of Chaya for the neighbors name. I just feel like it would fit.
what do you think?

sarahd

Thu, Jun 27 2013, 6:55 am

I like the name Chaya, June, and the plot is a great idea, seeker!

goodrms

Thu, Jun 27 2013, 7:41 pm

I Love everyone's posts especially the last one! Keep it up!!!

sarahd

Sun, Jun 30 2013, 6:43 am

Good installment, June!

goodrms

Tue, Jul 02 2013, 9:43 am

So Chaya Marks is Ariella's neighbor?

June

Tue, Jul 02 2013, 11:38 am

yup.
I know there were already a few characters but I couldn't think of any way to continue with the sister or the mother, and I didn't love the way Ariella was turning out, so I decided to introduce a new person.
If anyone thinks it's better to wait with her, I'll take her out and we can introduce her later.

can someone else continue, please?
we have so many characters to choose from!

The two newlywed couples/neighbors
Shira, the friend
The sister
The mother

thanks!

June

Tue, Jul 02 2013, 11:40 am

lol I just thought of a good plot.

Ariella discovers imamother and vents all her angsty newlywed stories....
she gets tons of good advice from another poster who turns out to be her next door neighbor chaya.
and they all live happily ever after

peanutsmom

Tue, Jul 02 2013, 12:16 pm

This is funny. B/c on the inshidduchim.com one they didn't write out the whole plot first (as far as I know) and that was a big part of what is so fascinating about the story. Like each "writer" got to decide how she wanted it to go. Yes there was editing b/c then they would discuss it and decide they didn't' want that to happen yet-but it still gives the story a very cool idea-with so many different ppl making one plot. Unless here we base it on seeker's plot and then see where it goes from there. What do you think?

June

Tue, Jul 02 2013, 12:30 pm

peanutsmom, why don't you give it a try? Wink

peanutsmom

Tue, Jul 02 2013, 12:48 pm

just did

amother

Tue, Jul 02 2013, 1:29 pm

I just added the new part - shira feeling all emotional about her friend leaving her ... - posted as amother cuz not confident about my writing skills but needed to share that part. btdt

goodrms

Sun, Jul 07 2013, 9:53 pm

C'mon folks! are we going to let the singles beat us?

agreer

Mon, Jul 08 2013, 12:48 am

Loooooved the line abtlakewood Mikva horrors! So funny!

But there is not enuf action... I. The Dina/Donny story, almost every post had some DRAMA...that's what makes it so good! Maybe everyone could end in cliffhangers?