My cleaning lady steals my fruit!

groisamomma

Tue, Sep 24 2013, 11:41 pm

ysmommy wrote:

granolamom wrote:

oh, except for one I fired after finding out that she used my toaster oven.

you fired someone for using your toaster? can I ask why?

For kashrus reasons I'd probably fire her too. Especially if I made it firmly clear that using appliances, or anything hot related to food, is off-limits without me.

OP, if she's helping herself to a fruit she must be hungry. Even if it's not meal-time, these women work HARD and may get hungry even if the clock doesn't say it's time for lunch. I get hungry when I work hard, too. You wouldn't begrudge her food if you would be offering it to her more often.

FTR, my cleaning lady comes to me during off-hours, too, but I always offer her fruit or snack. Many times I pack up a portion of dinner for her to take along and eat later.

DrMom

Wed, Sep 25 2013, 12:42 am

groisamomma wrote:

ysmommy wrote:

granolamom wrote:

oh, except for one I fired after finding out that she used my toaster oven.

you fired someone for using your toaster? can I ask why?

I would say *only* if I made it firmly clear that using appliances, or anything hot related to food, is off-limits without me. There is no way for someone to know that this is an off-limits appliance unless they were specifically told so. It is unfair to fire someone for being unable to read your mind.

Happy 2B

Wed, Sep 25 2013, 12:45 am

ysmommy wrote:

remind me never to work for you.

seriously- what is wrong with you?

she cleans your toilets. you cant forgive her an apple? you should always be offering her drinks and at least a snack.

Why are so many of you being so rude to the OP.

She is not saying she is unwilling to give her a fruit.

All the OP asked if you re read the original post is if it is normal and customary for a cleaning woman to take fruit without asking. She is not saying she is unwilling to give her a fruit.

OP, I think it is is not normal to take without asking but like someone else mentioned she may be used to it based on other homes she visits and you should not assume she "steals" other items because of this.

My cleaning lady also broke things without telling me. And my sample parfumes are missing. Maybe we have the same lady???

marina

Wed, Sep 25 2013, 1:22 am

It's really important to learn the correct way to speak to your Hispanic cleaning lady. Mexican women don't really understand our culture and our expectations and they pretty much only understand very simple phrases in general. But the good news is that there's a super youtube video teaching you how to speak to your cleaning ladies, especially, you know the Hispanic ones.

I found this video to be invaluable! Enjoy and I hope you don't keep your jewelry out when she comes over. Even if you've seen this video before, it is still a super review. I do post it a lot when we imamothers struggle in relating to our Latino household help.

turca

Wed, Sep 25 2013, 1:43 am

marina wrote:

Lol
I'm Mexican.
Op please feel to pm when u need help for your fruit concerns. Or any concern regarding Hispanic manners. Ill gladly help u
Edit: the above offer applies to everyone else

Ruchel

Wed, Sep 25 2013, 7:51 am

amother wrote:

You don't offer your cleaning lady food? Everyone that I knows offer their cleaning lady food and drink. I also would not mind in the least if they took a fruit without asking.

I don't know anyone who does. The cleaning lady brings her stuff, if she wants.
But I wouldn't mind.

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Sep 25 2013, 7:57 am

Ruchel wrote:

amother wrote:

You don't offer your cleaning lady food? Everyone that I knows offer their cleaning lady food and drink. I also would not mind in the least if they took a fruit without asking.

I don't know anyone who does. The cleaning lady brings her stuff, if she wants.
But I wouldn't mind.

It probably depends on how long the cleaning person is in your home. I have a cleaning guy who comes for two hours. I dont offer him any food, but I always put out a bottle of water with a cup so he can drink whenever he wants (when I am home when he comes, sometimes I am not home when he comes to clean)

Shana_H

Wed, Sep 25 2013, 9:53 am

I've never had cleaning help, but my mother always has, no matter who was in the house repairing, installing, cleaning, pruning, whatever it was, whoever it was and for however long or short a time it was, Mom always put on the coffee pot and cut huge slices of Apple Crisp! And I've never forgotten, she wasn't just my Mother, she's been my greatest inspiration.

amother

Wed, Sep 25 2013, 10:45 am

Happy 2B wrote:

ysmommy wrote:

remind me never to work for you.

seriously- what is wrong with you?

she cleans your toilets. you cant forgive her an apple? you should always be offering her drinks and at least a snack.

THANK YOU Happy2B! Thank you for actually reading my post and not attacking me. I was just wondering if taking food from the fridge is a normal thing for cleaning help to do. I'm not hoarding my fruit or starving my hired help. Goodness.

greenfire

Wed, Sep 25 2013, 11:08 am

marina wrote:

alguna vez te he dicho cuánto yo te quiero tanto mi amiga ~ quieres una manzana?

JAWSCIENCE

Wed, Sep 25 2013, 11:13 am

Since she told you about it, it definitely does not feel like stealing to her. Many people consider fruit left in a bowl to be in the "hefker" category - meaning anyone in the home can eat one unless they are a small child that needs Mommy's permission. She probably has worked by many such people.

If you have fruit you do not want her to touch or are nervous she will eat things that you need for recipes after then you should just go over the rules of food in your house with her. Do this with any subsequent cleaning person you have.

granolamom

Wed, Sep 25 2013, 1:02 pm

ysmommy wrote:

granolamom wrote:

oh, except for one I fired after finding out that she used my toaster oven.

you fired someone for using your toaster? can I ask why?

She was new. I showed her what food she could eat, I feed my help well. I stressed that I could not allow her to bring her own food but that she was more than welcome to eat ours. I stressed that under no circumstances could she use my oven or toaster oven. I know that technically she can but I am not always home and didn't want to worry about it.
I went out and came home an hr later to find my toaster hot. Strange. And then I noticed her Tupperware container with food remnants in my fridge. Enough evidence for me that I couldn't trust her with kashrut or to follow my instructions

FranticFrummie

Wed, Sep 25 2013, 5:36 pm

A friend of mine schedules her cleaning lady to come while she's making dinner. She just makes enough for one extra person, and then offers her a bowl or plate of whatever's on the menu that night. The cleaning lady eats before she leaves, and then the house is nice for the rest of the family to sit down and eat. No extra work having to coordinate a snack, if you're already in the kitchen and making a big pot of whatever.

causemommysaid

Wed, Sep 25 2013, 5:44 pm

amother wrote:

Happy 2B wrote:

ysmommy wrote:

remind me never to work for you.

seriously- what is wrong with you?

she cleans your toilets. you cant forgive her an apple? you should always be offering her drinks and at least a snack.

you called the thread "my cleaning lady steals my fruit"

that doesnt sound like your just wondering.

chani8

Thu, Sep 26 2013, 4:39 pm

Thread titles can be dramatic. That's fine.

And OP is new to having a cleaning lady. Understandable that she doesn't know the etiquette.

But my reaction to the cleaning lady helping herself to food would be more like, OMGosh, I've not been offering her food.

Now that you know that she goes from your home to another job, I think you should offer her more than fruit. Maybe some cheese and crackers or a sandwhich.

As far as things getting damaged, I know it's hard to get past that feeling of betrayal at not being told, but try to step into her shoes at the fear of it all. She needs this job and she made a mistake, and she just wants it to go away, not have to admit it and suffer from it.

I once had the best cleaning lady in the world, but I just could not find it in me to trust her, as she made mistakes like that, too, breaking a thing, once even scratching the living room window. We moved away, and oh how I miss her now! She loved us and cleaned the house from top to bottom, each time to the best of her ability. I'd love a scratched window now if it meant I'd have my house that clean.

nyer1

Sat, Sep 28 2013, 8:49 pm

im honestly apalled that people don't think to feed their cleaning ladies. they are doing labor around your house that you arent doing. for hours at a time. you don't think they deserve a drink or a MEAL? if you don't let nonkosher food in your house, you can't expect them to NOT EAT.

when my cleaning lady comes I ALWAYS make her lunch and coffee and leave her a cold drink. she is SO thankful. its not hard to do. it makes a huge kiddush hashem

ElTam

Sat, Sep 28 2013, 10:45 pm

I think the food thing has been answered. On the breaking things and not saying, I think you have to understand that many cleaning people are understandably afraid, having be fired, docked pay etc., for breaking things, which happens in the course of cleaning. I break things when I am cleaning. My cleaning lady has been with us for more than five years and I can tell she's always afraid to tell me the rare time she breaks something, even though I always say, "It's no big deal, thanks for letting me know."

I would just say, "I understand that things sometimes get broken in the course of cleaning a house. Please just let me know when it happens." Unless you are fining yourself, your husband, and your kids every time something gets broken, the cleaning person shouldn't be treated any differently. Unless you are talking about regular breakage through negligence, in which case you get a new cleaning lady.

Just my .02.