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Forum
-> Inquiries & Offers
-> Moving/ Relocating
hop613
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 Tue, Nov 19 2013, 9:35 am
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I think the same mentality you don't like in flatbush, you are going to find in the 5T and the surrounding areas. I would definitely look into places like fairlawn NJ, Springfield NJ, Elizabeth NJ, Teaneck etc. These places may be more your speed. And yes, in general I believe that the middle between left wing and right wing MO is quickly disappearing.
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Ruchel
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Tue, Nov 19 2013, 9:36 am
| hop613 wrote: | | the middle between left wing and right wing MO is quickly disappearing. |
yes. as is the "old fashioned MO"
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amother
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Tue, Nov 19 2013, 9:42 am
| hop613 wrote: | | I think the same mentality you don't like in flatbush, you are going to find in the 5T and the surrounding areas. I would definitely look into places like fairlawn NJ, Springfield NJ, Elizabeth NJ, Teaneck etc. These places may be more your speed. And yes, in general I believe that the middle between left wing and right wing MO is quickly disappearing. | I grew up in teaneck and I know many families that are exactly that, the middle between left wing and right wing MO. I dont think it is disappearing per say, but you have to just find where they still are.
OP, I would definitely think about teaneck.
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amother
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Tue, Nov 19 2013, 9:43 am
If you don't like the materialism of Flatbush then you will not like Teaneck. It is for the most part a well of community and as a whole, they spend accordingly. Maybe look into the Beth Aaron, Arzei Darom, side of Teaneck (Teaneck is very big) or look into Elizabeth.
When you say MO do you mean wearing pants not covering hair? Do you mean only skirts cover some hair? Do you want to send to a co-ed school. If so, how co-ed? There is a large spectrum of MO and it would be helpful to know where you fall.
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amother
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Tue, Nov 19 2013, 9:45 am
There are definitely places in the 5 Towns where you would fit in, but they do tend to be on the more materialistic side.
Teaneck is moving to the right, but would almost certainly be a nice fit for you.
Englewood?
Riverdale/New Rochelle/White Plains would also fit you well, except they don't have stores, etc open all that late. All are a much easier commute to Manhattan than 5 Towns.
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Dolly Welsh
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Tue, Nov 19 2013, 10:22 am
Maybe you should think about whom you accept instead of who accepts you?
See if you can pull a group of people as proper as yourself together, and stand up for yourself, possibly even right where you are.
You are more right wing than you think.
Your values are on the inside.
It sounds as if a group of about three to five people were unpleasant to you. That's not a reason to move zip code. It's only three to five people.
You were spared the company of idiots.
You aren't wearing pants, you cover, and you aren't silly enough to get your blessings from labels.
So, you aren't drifting away from Orthodox badges and practices. You aren't going leftward. You are holding the line.
And as a lawyer in midtown, that isn't easy, to be the only one in the office who never wears pants, ever, when everybody else does.
However, you are not quite as strict and inward-focused as the Yeshivish.
So, you are just plain MO.
I can see how this might be lonely. It is always lonely to have inner values instead of the much easier exterior kind. Values one can buy at the store are about what one can see. Being religious is about what one cannot see.
You sound pretty cool.
But you might have to forge your own community of the likeminded. It might not be as easy as finding the right zip code.
And stop fretting about what other people think.
When you see this kind of tacky social dynamic operating, sail smoothly past. Don't return fire, it isn't nice. Just love yourself and don't worry about it.
Your choice might be between people who are less successful than you and people who are more materialist than you.
I would go for ease of commute and carefully construct a solid inner circle.
Do you know any BTs?
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abby1776
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Tue, Nov 19 2013, 12:53 pm
A lot of people I went to Columbia with moved to White Plains.
If you are considering out of town - Silver Spring is a really nice modern orthodox community. Lots of lawyers.
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BlueRose52
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Tue, Nov 19 2013, 1:18 pm
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Have you considered Staten Island? A lot of the modern orthodox people from Flatbush send their kids to JFS, which is an excellent modern orthodox school in SI.
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bubbebia
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Tue, Nov 19 2013, 1:52 pm
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If you are looking for MO communities and expense is not so much of an issue look to the north of NYC or west into Northern/Central NJ. Places like Teaneck/Bergenfield/New Milford and Paramus, or Highland Park/Edison, Elizabeth and the West Orange/Livingston areas are possibilities. All have MO communities with the amenities and schools and easy access to the City. Passaic would not be a good choice for you. Also, if you want to stay on the east side of the Hudson, look into Riverdale/North Yonkers, New Rochelle/Scarsdale/White Plains.
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amother
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Tue, Nov 19 2013, 2:11 pm
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I'd say it's worth it to look into West Hempstead a little more. It does have a few kosher restaurants and is not far at all from the 5 Towns (half hour drive) if you do need something very late or are in the mood for a restaurant there. The commute into Manhattan is ok - there is the LIRR, and it's also right off of a highway. The local elementary school is MO, though children do commute to neighboring communities also for school. Bottom line, it's a really nice, growing community. I'd reconsider it.
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amother
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Tue, Nov 19 2013, 2:24 pm
If OP is anti materialism, Englewood isn't the right place. It's a much wealthier community than the others in Bergen County and people are pretty fancy. It also tends to be very very modern. Not one woman I know who lives there covers her hair. I see a lot of (expensive) leggings worn around town. Most families send to Moriah, which is not for everyone since all the other schools have opened in the past 10 years. It's more self-selecting at this point.
Another vote for Teaneck, just not the West Englewood section. Beth Aaron and Arzei Darom are not materialistic at all.
If you want a more RWMO community check out Bergenfield. Most families send to YNJ.
The commute can be awful though 
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amother
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Tue, Nov 19 2013, 3:09 pm
Honestly, I recommend checking out all the surrounding places to Teaneck(like Englewood, Bergenfield, Paramus, and Fair Lawn). Most people I know who decided against Teaneck just found it too overwhelming. It's just too big with too many people to truly have a cohesive community feel. Your shul may be very tight knit and everyone is welcoming and accommodating, but your neighbor across the street may really have nothing to do with you because you go to a different shul than them. It wasn't my speed, either.
We are in Fair Lawn and love it. The community is incredibly awesome and wonderful. Everyone gets along pretty well, young couples and not-so-young-couples. Plenty of people with kids of all ages. There are new programs in the shul being developed all the time. People don't hesitate to help out with ANYTHING. It's really so much love and kindness that it's unbelievable. I absolutely love it.
The best part is, we get all the benefits of Teaneck with none of the downside, in my head! We are 12 minutes away from a billion kosher restaurants, we have the benefit of being able to send our kids to a TON of schools (seriously, so many options, and there are even new options that have opened up recently like Yeshivat He'atid)
Also, the nursery school at Anshei Lubavitch in fair lawn is seriously the most warm, friendly, loving place ever. Everyone who sends their kids there really loves it, and they are so accepting of everyone. There's also a new nursery program through the MO shul (Shomrei Torah), which is too new for me to know all that much about, but people seem to like it!
I posted anonymously because fair lawn's not terribly huge, and I feel like it's obvious who I am if you know me by posting this...  but if you have any more questions, please let me know. I sadly do not have space to host you for shabbos, or I'd absolutely offer. If you get in touch with the shul for hospitality, who knows, I may end up hosting one of your meals, since I am signed up through the hospitality committee to host prospective couples 
Good luck wherever you end up!
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sequoia
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Tue, Nov 19 2013, 3:52 pm
| abby1776 wrote: | A lot of people I went to Columbia with moved to White Plains.
If you are considering out of town - Silver Spring is a really nice modern orthodox community. Lots of lawyers. |
What a coincidence. A lot of the people I went to Columbia with also moved to White Plains 
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amother
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Tue, Nov 19 2013, 4:36 pm
| BlueRose52 wrote: | | Have you considered Staten Island? A lot of the modern orthodox people from Flatbush send their kids to JFS, which is an excellent modern orthodox school in SI. |
Wow, how times must have changed.
I grew up in SI a long time ago and went to school in Flatbush, to what was then an 'excellent modern orthodox school'.
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flowerpower
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Tue, Nov 19 2013, 4:44 pm
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I was going to suggest Staten Island or Great Neck.
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dancingqueen
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Tue, Nov 19 2013, 6:38 pm
OP, I also find that the five towns has a very brooklyn vibe - or brooklynites who make it and are very into conspicuous consumption.
I can definitely see you fitting into the center/rw MO areas of teaneck. Englewood and westchester are too LW for you I think.
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jflower
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Tue, Nov 19 2013, 7:14 pm
OP, please feel free to try out my shul. H & M outfits are welcome & the women are extraordinarily friendly & go out of their way to welcome newcomers. Not too many women with small children come on a regular basis so it's an older crowd but if you can get past that, it's a wonderful shul. People are very down-to-earth & dress moderately.
Please don't tar all Flatbush people with the same brush. You had a bad experience in one shul. Try another one. You may not love every single shul in your new neighborhood either.
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staten islander
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Tue, Nov 19 2013, 9:40 pm
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I echo other posters in suggesting Staten Island.I have kids in JFS if you would like to pm me.
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