Why are you fat? | Imamother

amother

Tue, Dec 03 2013, 7:55 pm

So, I'm actually not fat, a medium size, but I eat a LOT!!! I am sure I am fat for how I supposed to be, because I eat all the time, absurd amounts, and I wish I could stop!! I am thankful for having a good metabolism, but I honestly wished I didn't like to eat so much!!! Eating an entire pizza pie is not uncommon for me!!

amother

Tue, Dec 03 2013, 7:57 pm

amother wrote:

wow! And I am obese and I don't think I eat nearly as much as others who are far smaller than me. If I ate two, maybe three slices it would be max, I would be too full.

amother

Tue, Dec 03 2013, 7:59 pm

amother wrote:

wow! And I am obese and I don't think I eat nearly as much as others who are far smaller than me. If I ate two, maybe three slices it would be max, I would be too full.

And I cannot think of only eating 2 or 3 slices!!! And to make it worse my husband is the same,so we reinforce each others bad habits!!No one would ever guess how much I eat, only the ones who actually have seen me eat an entire pie!!

paprika

Tue, Dec 03 2013, 8:06 pm

Most people blame their mothers for being fat.

If mother gave large dinner portions, it's her fault that I have no portion control.

If mother gave small portions, I still feel the need to eat till no more goes in.

If she was too health conscious, I can't look at a piece of vegetable today.

If her food was heavy and oily, well this is the only way that I was taught to cook.

If she didn't allow me to eat any sugary foods, I still crave sugar today.

If she kept telling my to stop eating, I still have to show her that I'm the one to decide how much to eat.

Since all of us fat people are survivors of deprivation or over indulgence, we can pat ourselves on our backs that the only scar we walked away with is the fat on our bodies.

amother

Tue, Dec 03 2013, 8:15 pm

like someone else said "what is fat?"

are you talking about what BMI considers overweight or obese?
are you saying a specific size or larger?

personally I am about a size 6, I am not happy with where I am in my weight. I remember 3 years ago my baby was 9 months old, I was back to a size 6-8. I had a dinner to go to and I cried to my dh the night before saying that I understood that if you took everyone in the room at the dinner and sized us up based on physically being fat, I'd be part of the 25% of the skinniest people in the room. However, I felt ugly and fat. I felt that my clothes didnt fit right, in my eyes I was fat and ugly.

why am I fat?
I am an emotional eater, my mother had her own weight issues, I picked up bad habits that I'm not willing to change. I dont blame her, cause I'm an adult and I can choose to follow what I saw her do, or do something differently

amother

Tue, Dec 03 2013, 9:13 pm

I'm fat because I'm taking a preventive for migraines. It's the only one that works for me that is compatible with my trying to conceive, but unfortunately, one of its side effects is lots of weight gain (it's also prescribed for anorexics). I think I gained 30 pounds in three months (almost as bad as being pregnant) and I went from a size 10 to a size 16. It didn't help that I'm quite short so almost anything shows. My next baby better appreciate it!

amother

Tue, Dec 03 2013, 9:36 pm

It's always the mother's fault. No matter what the mother did or didn't do, it's her fault.

But I know mothers who taught their kids lifelong good eating habits, and to eat minimally and stay very slim for life. Even through pregnancies and multiple births. These women have 10-12 kids and are still size 4 and under. They don't eat. Eating is an after thought, something like another chore. They don't enjoy food. They eat to live, not live to eat. They cook and bake for their families, but are so busy doing laundry and keeping their homes immaculate, that food is not a priority. They have a quick coffee in the morning, tuna and veggies for lunch, and whatever they make for their families for dinner, but only a little bit of it..... They will indulge, in a tiny taste of this or that, and then go right back to not eating and enjoying their flat stomachs....
They claim to always be a bit hungry. They teach their kids to pause and think before eating, is your stomach asking for the food, or you just want it because you see it? They keep their homes stocked with mostly healthy food, most of the time.
I am seeing three generations of this, and they are all slim, all of them.... I am trying to learn their method of mindful and healthy eating choices, it is working, but slowly.

spring13

Tue, Dec 03 2013, 9:54 pm

I'm fat because it's REALLY hard to find the time to exercise the way I'd want to. Because this white collar office job life that most Jews lead, myself included, is not the way my body was constructed to function - I was built to pick turnips in a field several miles from my house, where chasing cows off would be a regular occurrence.

Oh, and carbs are THE BOMB. I love veg and fruit and so on, but CARB ME UP BABY.

imamiri

Tue, Dec 03 2013, 10:26 pm

imasinger wrote:

I was fat for the majority of my life because food is a quick, easy, and immediately rewarding way to handle negative emotions, and because EVERYONE who denies themselves certain foods will eventually start to crave them and overeat.

Now, I am learning to differentiate between true hunger and emotional hunger, learn the subtle signals my body sends to say when my stomach is full enough; and not deny myself anything, but only eat until done -- and I am losing weight without dieting.

^^This this this. For some people (myself included), food is a way to handle feelings.

amother

Wed, Dec 04 2013, 12:17 am

imasinger wrote:

There is only one word in your post that I don't agree with-EVERYONE. People with allergies or other dietary ristrictikns are people and they do not crave and end up overrating. Other than that I agree with you.
As for myself, I am by no means fat, just maybe slightly overweight, but I think I carry it pretty well. I was anorexic for many years and have an addictive personality, so the thought of dieting or doing intense exercise is a no no for me. I recently started a gluten free diet, and I think I have actually lost a few pounds. I am currently 2 sizes bigger and about 30lb heavier than when I got married, but I think it is all within the average range, or maybe slightly overweight.
Why am I not smaller now? I'm not working, I don't get out much because my baby takes a long nap right in the middle of the day, I like carbs (mostly pasta and cheese) and I don't like preparing food for myself.

amother

Wed, Dec 04 2013, 12:17 am

imasinger wrote:

amother

Wed, Dec 04 2013, 1:33 am

I'm overweight because I have no self control. I overeat, and eat the wrong foods.

my mother actually is an excellent role model (whom I don't take after in the least), but I do have someone to blame Smile

My older brothers teased me for years about being overweight (I was always chubby as a kid), and every time I ate something wrong would poke fun and try to tell me to stop. I think I'm still rebelling against that.

ValleyMom

Wed, Dec 04 2013, 1:46 am

I just LOVE when obviously SKINNY women answer questions like this.

I'm zaftig because I overeat and never exercise.

I overeat because I desperately try to control everything and then life happens and things do not work out as I planned and so I EAT.

2/3 of my kids are doing what I "believe" is fabulous.

The third is not doing what I would love her to be doing.

YES--I am well aware this is not a healthy way to live life and I am working on it....

Please do not be hostile pr judgmental I KNOW I'm wrong....

:-(

amother

Wed, Dec 04 2013, 3:12 am

I enjoy eating. Also have unhealthy eating habits. I try eating healthy foods but I don't stop there. So after I nosh the lettuce and snap peas, I'm on to the cake. Don't forget the midnight binges.

I'll partially blame the genes, but not my mother.

I also can't stand exercise. I find it hard and boring. I will walk across town to buy something in a store but cannot imagine biking/working out/whatever in one place for half hour.

ironically, it's during my pregnancies that I barely eat- no apetite. But BH my babies have plenty of stored fats to keep them growing!

amother

Wed, Dec 04 2013, 4:17 am

Fat from the most terrible eating habits and yes dues to my youth.

Having an abusive mother, and no cooked nutritious dinners or being punished to skip meals caused me and my siblings not to have the best eating habits. But I am by far the worst.

Now I am borderline anorexic and bulimic.

Today I have eaten 2 tbsp of cous cous, 3 bites of a fruit, 1 piece of watermelon. 5 chewy lollies.
Tried to throw up once but it didnt work bec not enough food went in, and waited a bit too long.
Took laxatives.

Now I am finally losing weight, but that is because I am hardly eating and throwing up...

But I am an exercise aholic- LOVE any type of exercise and do it every single day!!!

imasinger

Wed, Dec 04 2013, 5:04 am

amother wrote:

Amother, my heart goes out to you for all you have suffered. I hope you are in a better home situation now, and get lots of love.

The relationship to food (and exercise, believe it or not) that you describe is not "borderline" anorexic and bulemic. Your description sounds like you are well over the border.

If you aren't already getting help from someone trained in eating disorders, would you be willing to get some names from people on the board? I'll bet someone could help you find a counselor near you. All you need to do is post the question anonymously and give your approximate location.

As your mind heals from the traumas you have experienced, so will your body.

Your post serves as a warning, IMO, to the OP, and all of us, about why one should not title a thread, "why are you fat". Because people's perceptions do not always match reality, and the word "fat" is very emotionally loaded.

Huge hugs!

imasinger

Wed, Dec 04 2013, 5:13 am

amother wrote:

You are 100% right about the reasons for cutting out certain foods making a difference. Thank you for pointing that out.

Last edited by imasinger on Wed, Dec 04 2013, 6:19 am; edited 2 times in total