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Forum
-> Parenting our children
black sheep
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 Thu, Dec 19 2013, 12:52 pm
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I take back my "never" because there is a big difference between leaving a baby in the house and driving away even just for five minutes, and leaving a baby while you take out the garbage, or bring in the groceries from the car, or bring your toddler outside to wait for his bus or carpool. As long as you are just right outside, it is unlikely that something can happen that is so different than if you are in the house. But driving away? Never. And as other amothers said, it really never is just five miutes.
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causemommysaid
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Thu, Dec 19 2013, 2:16 pm
Never!!!!
I did it once in my life for 10 minutes. (baby asleep, ran down the block to drop something off at a neighbor), I had a video monitor with me and when I came back I decided that it was irresponsible of me and I wouldn't do it again.
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libby1
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Thu, Dec 19 2013, 2:18 pm
never ever never know what can happened next minute no sorry the next second!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a neighbor who does this once her child woke a one year old and was screaching near the door trying to open it up and we neighbors were at loss cause theres no key by anyone to open for her!! twenty minutes later mother came back to a schene all of us quit mad and poor child I think trauma for life!
I say never take chance
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amother
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Thu, Dec 19 2013, 3:28 pm
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never if you are going somewhere- but if you are going outside to your sukka at night, or taking out the garbage, waiting for another kids bus etc- it depends on how far it is- sukka we lived on a top floor and our sukka was on the roof- so we did, but I would never leave them alone in that apt when I took out the garbage- 4 flights down and across the street! I know some ppl around me leave a baby alone sleeping while they run 5 minutes to get an older kids from gan- they call their house from their cell and listen in, I would NEVER do that- if my neighbor was home and it was bad weather I would leave my baby by her, I also made my babies schedules around gan pickup- they napped earlier or later (or in the beginning both).
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imaima
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Thu, Dec 19 2013, 3:33 pm
| mandr wrote: | | While I agree that a baby should never be left alone, I always wonder about this scenario. I live on the second floor and cannot push a carriage down the steps. It needs to be folded before taking it down. Now, the baby can't be in the carriage while it's in the folded state obviously, so where does the baby stay until the carriage is downstairs? So what I do is, I put the baby in the crib, run downstairs with the carriage, then run back up to fetch my baby. Is there a better way to do this? |
No.
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Barbara
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Thu, Dec 19 2013, 3:42 pm
| imaima wrote: | | mandr wrote: | | While I agree that a baby should never be left alone, I always wonder about this scenario. I live on the second floor and cannot push a carriage down the steps. It needs to be folded before taking it down. Now, the baby can't be in the carriage while it's in the folded state obviously, so where does the baby stay until the carriage is downstairs? So what I do is, I put the baby in the crib, run downstairs with the carriage, then run back up to fetch my baby. Is there a better way to do this? |
No. |
Yes. Baby in sling.
Not that I think that what you do is terrible, depending on the logistics of your building. But sling is the way to do it.
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JoyInTheMorning
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Thu, Dec 19 2013, 3:50 pm
I used to take out the garbage with my baby sleeping alone inside our apartment. I'd take the elevator, put the garbage bag into the trash can, and come straight back up. It didn't take more than 5 minutes, and yes, I timed it because I'm obsessive=compulsive that way.
Slings didn't work for me, and I'm not very strong physically; I could never do anything else when carrying a baby. It wasn't an ideal solution but I think there would have been greater danger in trying to hold a baby when overburdened with stuff.
I think we have to use our common sense. People spend more than five minutes in their basements putting in the laundry while their babies are asleep. Nobody's threatening to call CPS on them.
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imaima
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Thu, Dec 19 2013, 4:32 pm
| Barbara wrote: | | imaima wrote: | | mandr wrote: | | While I agree that a baby should never be left alone, I always wonder about this scenario. I live on the second floor and cannot push a carriage down the steps. It needs to be folded before taking it down. Now, the baby can't be in the carriage while it's in the folded state obviously, so where does the baby stay until the carriage is downstairs? So what I do is, I put the baby in the crib, run downstairs with the carriage, then run back up to fetch my baby. Is there a better way to do this? |
No. |
Yes. Baby in sling.
Not that I think that what you do is terrible, depending on the logistics of your building. But sling is the way to do it. |
Depends on the size and type of the stroller.
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Barbara
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Thu, Dec 19 2013, 4:44 pm
| JoyInTheMorning wrote: | I used to take out the garbage with my baby sleeping alone inside our apartment. I'd take the elevator, put the garbage bag into the trash can, and come straight back up. It didn't take more than 5 minutes, and yes, I timed it because I'm obsessive=compulsive that way.
Slings didn't work for me, and I'm not very strong physically; I could never do anything else when carrying a baby. It wasn't an ideal solution but I think there would have been greater danger in trying to hold a baby when overburdened with stuff.
I think we have to use our common sense. People spend more than five minutes in their basements putting in the laundry while their babies are asleep. Nobody's threatening to call CPS on them. |
Once you get an elevator involved, you're outside the ambit of "its just like if I were in a house." If you're in the basement of your house, and chas v'shalom something happens, no one is blocking the stairs and telling you that you can't get to the kids. But in a split second, they can turn off that elevator (and tell you that you can't use the stairs).
See, that's the thing. Everything is great when it goes smoothly, and you can say "see, no problem." But everything doesn't always go smoothly. The trash bag breaks. You need to wait for the elevator because someone is moving. There's a fire alarm. Probably a million other things.
Out of curiosity, are you married? Any reason the trash couldn't wait until your husband was home, so someone would be with the baby?
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amother
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Thu, Dec 19 2013, 4:48 pm
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Before reading this thread, I thought is was okay to occasionally leave the baby or toddler sleeping to go outside the building and pick up the older one, but after reading all these crazy scenarios (some of them real) I don't think I'll do it anymore, bli neder. Some of these stories made me cringe!
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amother
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Thu, Dec 19 2013, 4:51 pm
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When my parents had one baby, they lived in an apt. building with a laundry room in the basement. My father once left the baby sleeping in his crib and went to do laundry. On the way back up, the elevator broke down and my father was stuck for over an hour until they got it working again! B"H the baby was playing in the crib when he finally got back home, but he never left any of us alone after that!
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JoyInTheMorning
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Thu, Dec 19 2013, 5:03 pm
| Barbara wrote: | | JoyInTheMorning wrote: | I used to take out the garbage with my baby sleeping alone inside our apartment. I'd take the elevator, put the garbage bag into the trash can, and come straight back up. It didn't take more than 5 minutes, and yes, I timed it because I'm obsessive=compulsive that way.
Slings didn't work for me, and I'm not very strong physically; I could never do anything else when carrying a baby. It wasn't an ideal solution but I think there would have been greater danger in trying to hold a baby when overburdened with stuff.
I think we have to use our common sense. People spend more than five minutes in their basements putting in the laundry while their babies are asleep. Nobody's threatening to call CPS on them. |
Once you get an elevator involved, you're outside the ambit of "its just like if I were in a house." If you're in the basement of your house, and chas v'shalom something happens, no one is blocking the stairs and telling you that you can't get to the kids. But in a split second, they can turn off that elevator (and tell you that you can't use the stairs).
See, that's the thing. Everything is great when it goes smoothly, and you can say "see, no problem." But everything doesn't always go smoothly. The trash bag breaks. You need to wait for the elevator because someone is moving. There's a fire alarm. Probably a million other things.
Out of curiosity, are you married? Any reason the trash couldn't wait until your husband was home, so someone would be with the baby? |
Barbara, you're right, it wasn't perfect. (And in answer to your question: sometimes people travel, and yes, I would be alone for as long as a week, and I took out garbage every day to avoid mice.) A neighbor had a key, and I went down with my cell. Of course, yes, there could be a blackout and cell phones could stop working, and so on. On the other hand, I could also have a stroke or heart attack while in my apartment or fall and break my leg in the shower. I don't know the relative risk of these events. I don't even know how to calculate them. I agree that a trip down the stairs seems qualitatively better somehow than a trip down the elevator, even if one spends longer down in the basement of one's house. I also feel that a trip down the elevator seems qualitatively a lot better than going outside or taking the car somewhere.
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anon1234
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Thu, Dec 19 2013, 5:12 pm
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I live in an apt building on the 2nd (and top) floor (no elevator) and the laundry room is on the first floor. I can't physically hold my baby and the laundry while shlepping up/down stairs so I bring down a load to put in the wash/switch to dryer while baby is sleeping. I also might go get groceries quickly from the car in the garage in a pinch (if they are perishable, otherwise I leave for when hubby gets home). But I would NEVER get in my car and drive away without the baby! And I would never go further than inside my building where I could be there in a heartbeat if need be. I wouldn't even go to the store on the corner 3 buildings down to get something. I just wouldn't. I even told my hubby that when we move I would only choose an apt with a washing machine inside our apt bec I feel like it's not the greatest scenario, I only do it bec I don't really have a choice and I hate it, wish I didn't have to.
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anon1234
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Thu, Dec 19 2013, 5:16 pm
Oh and those talking about taking a shower when baby is sleeping, I take the (video) monitor with me in the bathroom and place it on the vanity where I can see it and jump out if need be. Until I starting doing that I always would imagine hearing cries from the other room 
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busydev
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Thu, Dec 19 2013, 5:41 pm
I will run down two flights from my apartment to get something from the car parked in front or let someone in the main front door (we dont have a buzzer) and leave the baby sleeping/in his crib or the toddler playing (not together of course)... I am away no more then 2 minutes. if that. I will also go out the back door to borrow something from the neighbor (I call before and do any schmoozing on the phone not outside their door.) I have went to a neighbor for a learning group with my monitor (and its about 45 seconds from the neighbors table to the crib), but only with an older infant/toddler that almost never wakes once hes down for the count.
but I wont do more then that.
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amother
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Thu, Dec 19 2013, 5:44 pm
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This thread reminded me of a neighbor of mine who will leave her kids sleeping ("they never wake up"-my thought "until they do") and go for a while. for instance she was in yeshiva simchas torah night without them!! its about a 3 minute walk... but she was there for a long time, not running back every 10 minutes or anything. there were fine b"h but I was quite horrified.
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Fabulous
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Thu, Dec 19 2013, 6:20 pm
| anon1234 wrote: | | Oh and those talking about taking a shower when baby is sleeping, I take the (video) monitor with me in the bathroom and place it on the vanity where I can see it and jump out if need be. Until I starting doing that I always would imagine hearing cries from the other room |
smart idea. I always used to imagine crying, jump out and he was sleeping or playing in his crib nicely 
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bamamama
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Thu, Dec 19 2013, 6:33 pm
| mandr wrote: | | anuta wrote: |
baby in one arm carriage in the other, folded, going down the stairs?
Or baby in the front carrier, carriage in both hands being taken down?
Or baby in the carseat on the top landing, you bring down the carriage, then bring down the baby? At least the baby is outside the apartment just a flight of steps up... |
1. Carriage is too heavy.
2. I don't own a baby carrier.
3. Then how do I go back to put the carseat away? This is for a carriage that includes the bassinet, not the click-carseat-on like a snap-n-go. |
The solution to your problem is to wear your baby whether you like that solution or not. Otherwise, you're stuck with what you've got. I recommend the Ergo. You can prob pick one up used for cheaper than new.
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amother
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Thu, Dec 19 2013, 7:05 pm
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It's child abuse. Rationalizing it is deciding what degree of child abuse is acceptable.
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Kfar
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Thu, Dec 19 2013, 7:35 pm
All the "I can't" reasons are really "I dont want to because . . ."
Just laziness. Never ever leave a baby alone in the house.
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