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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Purim
Raisin
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 Sun, Feb 16 2014, 3:52 am
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you can give some nuts or dried fruit for non wine drinkers.
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etky
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Sun, Feb 16 2014, 4:59 am
Is there something immoral about customizing MM? If someone's willing to make the effort then why not optimize it for each individual recipient? I make several categories of MM: family sized ones for neighbors and friends, personal ones for my kids' friends (smaller, in a disposable container, and heavy on the candy minus the wine, coffee, tea, and any home cooked stuff) and a few MM for older friends who no longer have kids at home, w/o the kiddy candy and bamba/bissli. None of our single friends live anywhere near us but I would probably give them what I give the older couples with no kids at home. Regarding the candy dish - for me the criteria would be if they had their own residence or not. If they were still living with parents I would skip the candy dish. A bar of gourmet chocolate might be nice or a small tube of body lotion if you're looking to include a non-edible gift.
I don't think that any single friend is comparing MM with other people closely enough to get offended that they didn't get a candy dish or to even realize that they got something different.
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centurion
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Sun, Feb 16 2014, 7:25 am
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your married friends might not need the candy dish or the wine either. no need to "single" her out.
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flowerpower
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Sun, Feb 16 2014, 8:29 am
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I give the same but add a personal thing or two for them.
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imasoftov
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Sun, Feb 16 2014, 8:32 am
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If I knew that someone gave different mm's depending on personal status I would take whatever they sent me and return it to them.
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Emotional
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Sun, Feb 16 2014, 8:33 am
| cookiecutter wrote: | | I give my unmarried friends a clock so they can count the hours until they begin truly living. But its a cheap clock because they're not as important as my married friends. |
I am SURE you didn't mean this the way it sounded...
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joy613
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Sun, Feb 16 2014, 8:48 am
| Emotional wrote: | | I am SURE you didn't mean this the way it sounded... |
She was being sarcastic.
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blini
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Sun, Feb 16 2014, 5:25 pm
| happy chick wrote: | | im planning to something like a little candy dish or small salad bowl with some chocolates and a bottle of wine. thats not very practical for single friends. do people make different mm? |
Oy. You are trying to be kind, that I am certain of. Give to her what you would the married friends. One day, she will use these things in her own home. You are a sweet friend to be worried.
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Happy18
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Sun, Feb 16 2014, 5:38 pm
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Give the same thing to everyone unless there are allergies involved.
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sky
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Sun, Feb 16 2014, 5:48 pm
I give people especially close to me something special. For example my mother in law gets something different. As does my children's teachers.
I don't currently have single friends living near me, but my DH does and we give them something that is a joke between all of us. I think they enjoy it much more then what we give everyone else - and I would hope it would make them feel extra special that we put extra thought into what we gave them, especially on a day when some of them feel their loneliness much more deeply. sometimes DH ends up giving them 2 - the standard and special one. I've never once had a complaint only laughs and thanks.
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boysrus
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Sun, Feb 16 2014, 6:16 pm
If I have the time and energy, then yes, I customize mishloach manos. my standard package is the one for married friends and neighbors etc, eg bottle of grape juice or seltzer with a pineapple or box of cookies.
For example, my elderly neighbor in her nineties probably doesnt want a whole pineapple and a whole box of cookies four weeks befoer pesach when she gets mm from many people. So I customize it . I will send her a mini bottle of grape juice, some cut up pineapple in a little container, a homemade hamentash or mini homemade challah, something that I know sh will appreciate more. and why not? it will make her happier...
also , my single friends , I try to customize it. if I know that one friend loves 'kind' fruit and nut bars, and pesek zman choc bars, then I will give her one of each with a homemade hamentash and nice piece of fruit.
I believe that customizing shows that 'I care about you, you are not just one of a long list of people who I 'have' to give to.
I fyou can , tehn whyever not?
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PinkFridge
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Sun, Feb 16 2014, 6:54 pm
I will confess to not having read through the whole thread, basically just the OP and the posts that made it to most liked. A few thoughts:
- There's nothing wrong with customizing
- Though what's good for the goose and gander may be just fine for just the goose
- Many people do do OSFA, especially if they're theming
And a delayed immediate (intermediate?) reaction:
- Yes. When I make my single friends', I daven for them.
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Ruchel
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Mon, Feb 17 2014, 6:36 am
I don't customize.
I don't need any wine or a candy dish.
I don't drink wine...
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