Monsey Cheder - Vien, Munkatch or Imrei Shefer

amother

Mon, Sep 29 2014, 10:53 am

My brother was in Satmar for preschool when they were learning about Moshe Rabeinu and Matan Torah. The teacher held up a picture of Moshe holding the Luchos and asked who this is. My brother answered, "Statue of Liberty" and the teacher called up my mother, furious that he was even aware of such a thing. My mother promptly switched him out of Satmar to Vien, where he B"H thrived Smile

Anon because lots of people heard this story.

amother

Mon, Sep 29 2014, 11:31 am

amother wrote:

Yet you really do want to run away.
...
Please find yourself before you decide where to place your children. I don't know how old they are, but if you want to make some life changes, it only gets harder when they are older.
...figure out what you hate about the place that you are in, and where you want to be realistically.

I did consider running away. Well not quite running away, but choosing an alternate route. I have seriously considered moving OOT, and living peacefully the lifestyle that's good for us. But I'm not the type to make spontaneous life changes. I pondered it in depth, and realized that at the end of the day, we need our family. Choosing a different lifestyle might make things easier in some ways, but a lot harder in other ways.

What I hate about this place(s) is the whole attitude. The way the focus is on the nitty gritty things a person does or wears. The way people pretend to be "holy" and trash anyone who doesn't exactly fit the mold. The way schools care more about the length of the skirt or hair, than the quality of education or emotional wellbeing of the students.

One thing that got me so mad was when my sisters' school started with this whole internet thing. Every parent had to sign these forms stating that they don't have Internet, otherwise the kids won't be accepted into school. And hey guess what? The very same school gave out business phones - with Internet of course - to its staff members. Really??? If it's so important to you that you can kick a kid out of school because of it, how can you then go and distribute it free of charge to your staff??? The ones who are supposedly the role models for the school??? (It's true, in case you're wondering. One of these staff is an immediate family member. And so are a few relatives).
This is just one example.

I can go on an on.

And what irks me maybe the most - is that you can go against every single rule - but if you have money or pull, you'll get in there. Sad reality. Maybe it hits me so bad because we have no money, power or pull. So we always got the brunt of it all. But if a school honestly believes in something, they will be a sample themselves, and stand by it NO MATTER WHAT.

Enough on this for now. Thanks for letting me get off some steam

amother

Mon, Sep 29 2014, 11:38 am

mandr wrote:

Newsflash: Many, if not all, schools are moving more towards the right. In Monsey girls' schools alone, look at YSV, Ashar, Ateret, Bais Rochel - these are all becoming frummer than they used to be. That's how it is these days.

I agree with PP. You don't want to send your kids to a "bummy" school, yet you don't want the chassidish rules.

Frum is not the issue. Fanatic is.

Chassidish rules?? Since when is the slice amount in a kappel, shoe color, hairstyle, pony length(!!!!!! Thank God not in my days)....chassidish rules? Is that really what Chassidus was meant to be? What's wrong with the way Chassidish schools were a couple of years ago?? Do they really think that squeezing our breaths out will make us better Jews? Honestly I've found, that the crazier the rules get, the more OTD's there are. Not necessarily is this the only cause. But if I would go OTD, this would be it. And so would it be for quite a few other people I know

amother

Mon, Sep 29 2014, 5:56 pm

I have boys in Imrei Shefer

They're definitely not a mainstream chassidish cheder regarding all the nonsense rules. I appreciate that because to me, it shows a level of respect for the parent body. (And no we are not bummy in any way at all). I can't think of a single rule they have regarding the way the boys or parents dress.

Rabbi Melber the administrator who's very hands-on involved in the day-to-day is a genuniely nice person. If I as a parent will come with a suggestion, I know I'll be listened to, not just dismissed. I haven't gotten to know the new menahel well but he has a lot of experience as the former principal of YSV (but he's chassidish). The melamdim are all excellent. The class sizes are small, most well under 18, and I love that. The school has a small cozy family feel. The parent body mostly know each other.

The English department seems to be improving but they still don't offer any science or history classes which is my one complaint - they learn basic English and math. English starts in kitta gimmel (2nd grade - no Pre1A here).

mandr

Mon, Sep 29 2014, 9:40 pm

TO tell you the truth, I'd be leery about a Chassidish school that has zero rules regarding parents' dress. I don't mean they have to have lots of nitty gritty rules, but at least some normal ones?

We let you have a TV, internet whatever...
You can wear shorts, sandals, no sheitel, short-sleeves...
You can vacation with your children in Amsterdam while you do your business...

Rules are good for us. The Torah is one giant rule book.

Come on. A school needs rules. For parents too. Your children model you. They bring part of you to school with them each day. If I'd run a school I'd definitely want my students coming from a home that adheres to decent standards.

Maya

Mon, Sep 29 2014, 9:49 pm

mandr wrote:

Who draws the line at which rules are "normal"?
Perhaps this kind of school would not be a fit for you. It works for their student body of 100+, for people who realize that some things are more important than scrutinizing the "decency" of other parents.

joy613

Mon, Sep 29 2014, 10:02 pm

amother wrote:

Anon because lots of people heard this story.

OT I know, but I generally can understand the sheltering of this lifestyle but this has me baffled.

I'm trying to figure out what is wrong with knowing what the Statue of Liberty is. It's this huge thing in middle of the water. Hard to miss.
Is the problem that it means they went to Manhattan and that's forbidden? Is it because it's a lady? Do many satmar people not know what the Statue of liberty is?

amother

Mon, Sep 29 2014, 10:02 pm

MaBelleVie wrote:

Why does anyone need more rules than halacha provides us with? The Torah is perfectly complete as is.

OP here.

Yes of course I believe that a school needs rules. Halacha must be followed. And maybe the community standards as well. But to focus on the stupidities?? Ok maybe I was harsh. To some people, certain extremes are important. But to make that the focus?? To keep adding rules that make my head spin??
I have a friend whose done some pretty bad, bad stuff. Like really bad. But yet she would never in a million years do things like carrying on shabbos, wear a pony wig or eat cholov stam. I know she isn't everyone. But she's not the only one. When you grow up being scrutinized on the trivialities, when you stress on the wrong things... Oh well.

amother

Tue, Sep 30 2014, 12:18 am

mandr wrote:

Sorry to tell you but people with your mind set are a part of the problem, what I hear you saying is that if your kid's mossad would not tell you to cover your hear and wear long sleeves and to not watch tv, you wouldn't know how to behave? Are people animals that without force would be lost? Where is your respect for a fellow human being? I'm a delighted family member of Imrei Shefer; the parent body is very respectful, no young bummy type at all, no tv, etc. and yes, no stupid rules about slices of kippah etc, and guess what, the parent body knows how to behave better than in schools with books of rules, and hiding & lying, signing false documents about internet. Let's face it: you have on this very blog many parents who signed for their kid's school that they don't have internet at all (and they don't even know what it is. lol)

33055

Tue, Sep 30 2014, 1:07 am

mandr wrote:

I agree with you about the shorts and sandals. I wouldn't want to send my kids to a school where my kids could go into a house where the mom is wearing shorts. This is against halacha in any school that I would send to. I can't imagine that it is not against halacha in a chassidish school.

I expect the families to be vetted. A no TV and Internet rule may mean the parents still watch secretly, but it is not out in the open for my child to be exposed to. Similarly, I don't want my children to be in and out of houses with mothers in shorts. I am proud to be a parent of the schools I send to. I wouldn't be if there weren't standards.

amother

Tue, Sep 30 2014, 1:33 am

amother wrote:

We are probably putting our child into Imrei Shefer this year. My dh asked Rabbi Melber outright, will you reprimand me or make any problems for me because I often wear shorts and sandals in the summer? The answer was a most definite no. It's not their focus. They want the new generation of Chassidish kids to be educated well, in both Jewish and secular studies. That's all.

Please clarify the "shorts and sandals" was you or your DH? Full day wear or for exercise?