College and Women | Imamother

nicole81

Fri, Apr 28 2006, 12:25 am

I also pursued college for a while while I was single. I was never serious about it, and found "better" ways to spend my time. Since I became pregnant with my first, I realized it was now or never and I have completed most of what I need to graduate through two pregnancies, giving birth mid-semester, and iy"h a baby in another month and a half. Plus I worked (more than) full time throughout this all. It's been tough, but by this time next year I should be done. (Then comes the master's...)

My motivation for going lies in the fact while dh b"h makes decent money, it is not enough to support us, and I will probably need to be prepared for a lifetime of working. While I do get paid quite nicely without my degree, the hours I work are absolutely ridiculous and I barely see my child. Plus, I'm actually interested in certain medical fields and not just office work. Ideally, I would like to have more flexible hours but make enough to contribute to my household. I'm making sacrifices now but I know when I reach my goal, be it in 3 or 10 years from now, it will definitely be worth it.

Fortunately, my school has offered more online classes over the past year, and now the bulk of what I have registered for for the next semester is through the internet. This is a great option for young women/mothers to get the education they want without being exposed to the college environment and without taking time away from raising their children. There are even degree programs based entirely online these days, and the reputations of such programs are improving each day.

If my daughter(s) are interested in college at some point, I will definitely encourage them to go. But I will also encourage them to finish as much as they can before they get married to make it easier on themselves and their husbands. Out of high school for 4 years before I got married, I definitely had the opportunity to finish college, but I messed up. It's been hard trying to make up for those years while having a family at the same time, and while not impossible at all, I wouldn't want my daughters to struggle like this.

Chani

Fri, Apr 28 2006, 7:34 am

NOT going to college was never a possibility for me...My parents would have been devastated had I not gone, especially since in my mother's family all of the ladies went to college for several generations, including my great-grandmother. B'H that she did, since her husband died very young and she had a family to support, which she managed by working as a journalist and later an editor. I understand why so many are frightened of the environment, but it is possible to go just for the education without getting drawn into the social life.

ektsm

Mon, May 01 2006, 7:03 pm

Chani wrote:

same here

amother

Mon, May 01 2006, 7:51 pm

Why is it that teachers are looked at so disrespectfully as a profession??? I went to college and have a Masters degree, to be a teacher. I did not just "fall" into it, it is something I genuinely am interested in- and it is a valid profession. I have no problem with people choosing whichever career they feel like, but it seems that some people's attitudes towards education is that you might as well be cleaning houses...

Those who teach without an education may very well not be professionals, and may or may not really know what they are doing, but that doesn't go for all of us. Really, I hope your children don't hear you talk about their teachers this way.

Sorry to vent- but some of the attitudes here are upsetting.

BrachaC

Tue, May 02 2006, 1:15 pm

Hi! I'm a newbie on this site. I have a lot to say about the college issue, but am aware that every situation is unique.
I am currently working on my masters in social work at a state university. my husband works full time in kiruv and we live in "the burbs" with about 10 other shomer shabbos families. It took me until I was 23 and impending birth of my second child to finish my BA in humanities through Thomas Edison/neve while we were living in Israel. For most of my high-school career I thought I wanted to be a PhD pharmacist and work in a hospital. Well, my first semester at school (secular) taking Bio, Chem and Pre-Calc I realized that I just was not cut out for it, and moved on to another major, then I met DH and moved to Israel, at that point my BA became a slow, painful process. We did not have the money for me to be able to go to Maalot or Touro full time and get a degree, so I did it the "frum" way by taking correspondence, cleping, tests, tests and more tests. It was MISERABLE.

Once we figured out that we were moving back to the US eventually I was able to motivate myself to just finish out that humanities degree knowing I would go to grad school. I really enjoy going to school. The advantage of a field like social work is that it is very female dominated, and there are usually 3 or 4 guys in a class of 20. Most of my professors have also been women.

I have come to realize that because we live in a kiruv community, and my background etc I view the world differently then most, but having a career, and something to do that you enjoy seems to be crucial. If you love teaching, then by all means teach. I agree with most posters that it is only those girls that are brought up with the mentality of "I want to be a Mommy and a Mora and an Eishes Chayil" when they grow up that is disturbing. I think it's also that our kids interact with teachers and they make such an amazing impact on their lives that they take it for granted that when you grow up you become a teacher. My daughter (6 yrs old) has said that several times, and I don't discourage her, but I also look for opportunities to point out other professions that are attainable in the hopes that she will file them away in her brain to help her make a good decision. (Eg- we met a frum woman who owned a clothing store, she asked me why all of her eye doctors were men, and I said that she could become an eye doctor when she grows up...)

This has been long enough. Thanks for reading.