I don't think this is fair

amother

Mon, Feb 02 2015, 8:35 pm

Funny. I thought I was the only mother who thought this, but in my case its not choir.
My son is always chosen as the lead actor in every play they'll make, as the person in charge of everything the class does, the winner of almost every competition there is, etc.
Bh he is very responsible and organized and has a great head. He definitely deserves it, but I feel like the other kids in his class don't even try any more cause they know who's gonna win. ..

My dh once mentioned to the principal that whoever won this competition last shouldnt be in the next time around. He didn't agree. ..

Disclaimer : we have a son a grade younger that tries very hard, but is not as good as him, so there's a different boy in his class that always wins, so I see both sides.

Blueberry Muffin

Tue, Feb 03 2015, 8:38 am

The schools want each and every show of theirs to be fabulous because it showcases their school and gets alot of attention when they put on great performances. In my community - the middle school play is put on for the women and girls in the community - and even if people don't have kids in the school they are still invited and come.
My daughters never get the star leading role, they don't even get more than three words! I feel badly for them because it is always the same girls in the community that get the lead roles - yes those girls are very talented, but the truth be told - is that my daughters put on performances in my home and are quite talented as well - part of acting is from within and part of it is scripted - where the play writer writes the lines - in the past performance at my kids school there were some main parts that many girls could have gotten, but it was yet again 0 given to the girls that everyone ooh and ahhh-ed about at previous performances. I actually feel badly for my daughters because then they think that they are not good enough to act and are just used as "extras" in plays instead of someone helping them develop their skills.

bandcm

Tue, Feb 03 2015, 7:42 pm

amother wrote:

Except I did not say everyone should get a solo.

I believe that you go to school to develop yourself and you don't need to consistently hear "you're not good at this, you're not good enough for that."

Let the star singers have a solo, and let the girls with average or not-so-great voices participate too by singing in the choir. What are you so worried will happen if a girl with a not-great-voice sings together with 50 other girls?

If it's an issue because there are too many girls, there are ways to break it down. Class A does a performance this time, class B does it next time.

I believe all school extracurricular activities should be open to all students regardless of ability, and if there are more students than available slots, figure out a way to make it work. Offer it to only one grade at a time, or make a lottery. No kid should have to go through 4 years of HS without ever having an opportunity to play on a sports team, sing in a choir or act in a school play, IF THAT"S WHAT THEY WANT TO DO.

When my grandmother, a"h, was in school (a non-Jewish private school in the UK), she was once made to participate in a chorus consisting of two hundred students. It was the school rule - every child in the class had to be in it. She was, of course, placed in the back row.
A famous choirmaster was coming to train the chorus. As soon as they began the opening number, he banged his hand on the table and yelled "STOP!" Then he moved nearer to the stage and yelled, "WHO'S THAT CROAKING IN THE BACK?"
It was the only time in the school's history that a child was excused from participating in the chorus.
And this story (particularly the choirmaster's fabulous turn of phrase) has entered family lore. So now all my cousins on here know who I am.