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Question for mothers of Lakewood high school girls
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amother




Cerise


Post  Tue, Jun 04 2019, 11:32 am
Emotional wrote:
My husband rents workspace and a few guys from unrelated businesses also rent space in the same location.
A guy who my husband barely knows, I'll call him Nochum Nebachstein, comes over to my husband like this:
"My daughter is the BEST girl in her class in Bais Tova. No seriously, she really IS the best. She got accepted to BOTH Shiras Devorah and Oros, and we just CAN'T decide..."
My husband politely smiled and congratulated him, but the next statement:
"In fact our daughter is so desirable that Bais Tova pays US to send her to their school..."
My husband wasn't sure what to make of that statement, or even whether or not to believe it.
When I heard this, all I wanted to do was ask for the guy's tehillim name, and for his daughter's. All this bragging can't be good for their mazel.


It’s sad but it’s true Bais Tova let’s learning families to go for free without paying tuition. But I find it hard to believe that this guy is one of them because 1. He is working and it’s only for learning families and 2. This started two years ago for new families and his daughter is in eigth grade.

So please this guy is lying. It’s a scholarship program for learning families
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Emotional




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jun 04 2019, 11:43 am
amother [ Cerise ] wrote:
It’s sad but it’s true Bais Tova let’s yeshivish learning families to go for free without paying tuition. But I find it hard to believe that this guy is one of them because 1. He is working and it’s only for learning families and 2. This started two years ago for new families and his daughter is in eigth grade.

So please this guy is lying. It’s a scholarship program for learning families

On the VERY random chance that it's true, anyone with half of a dead brain cell would keep that information to themselves....
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Emotional




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jun 04 2019, 11:52 am
amother [ Cerise ] wrote:
It’s sad but it’s true Bais Tova let’s learning families to go for free without paying tuition. But I find it hard to believe that this guy is one of them because 1. He is working and it’s only for learning families and 2. This started two years ago for new families and his daughter is in eigth grade.

So please this guy is lying. It’s a scholarship program for learning families

And as an aside, "letting us send for free" is not the same thing as "paying us to send there."
I think this guy has major, major self esteem issues, not to mention poor judgement.
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amother




Cerise


Post  Tue, Jun 04 2019, 12:27 pm
Emotional wrote:
And as an aside, "letting us send for free" is not the same thing as "paying us to send there."
I think this guy has major, major self esteem issues, not to mention poor judgement.



This guy is a liar. That’s why he is bragging because he is jealous that he’s not on the scholarship. Bais Tova doesn’t pay anyone to come to their school they give some learning families free tuition it’s a different thing and again it just started two years ago so his daughter would be in first grade then.

Also his daughter probably didn’t get into oros and he is lying about that also. Many families lie that their child got into two schools when they didn’t.

Another thing Bais Tova this year told an few kids not to apply to Shiras Devorah and apply elsewhere, so maybe he’s one of those families so his ego was bruised so he’s bragging that his daughter got into two schools so you won’t ask questions why he didn’t go to Shiras Devorah.

Definitely this guys ego was bruised which is why he is bragging.
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Emotional




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jun 04 2019, 12:49 pm
Also BH my daughter is finishing tenth grade, so we are not in the parsha right now... but this guy didn't really know my husband. For all he knew, my husband had an eighth grade daughter who was just rejected from 7 schools, and happened to be in a lot of pain right now. If you're going to brag, you gotta be careful who you brag to.
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groisamomma




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jun 04 2019, 12:59 pm
naturalmom5 wrote:
I LOL met that girl, she was outside Starbucks on Motzi Shabbos, wearing shorts. LOL


I don’t think this comment is funny.

Emotional, the guy sounds socially off and I agree that anyone on the scholarship with half a brain would keep it to themselves.
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esther36




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jun 04 2019, 1:06 pm
amother [ Cerise ] wrote:
It’s sad but it’s true Bais Tova let’s learning families to go for free without paying tuition. But I find it hard to believe that this guy is one of them because 1. He is working and it’s only for learning families and 2. This started two years ago for new families and his daughter is in eigth grade.

So please this guy is lying. It’s a scholarship program for learning families

Before u start spreading rumors confirm the facts. My husband is BH in kollel for the last 15+ years and we work very hard to make ends meet. We definitely do pay tuition!!! I wish there was a different option as I have a few girls there and it really adds up... Go ask Rabbi Sanders to confirm this info before u make major upheaval! Cuz if it's true I would love to know about it!!
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amother




Cerise


Post  Tue, Jun 04 2019, 2:00 pm
esther36 wrote:
Before u start spreading rumors confirm the facts. My husband is BH in kollel for the last 15+ years and we work very hard to make ends meet. We definitely do pay tuition!!! I wish there was a different option as I have a few girls there and it really adds up... Go ask Rabbi Sanders to confirm this info before u make major upheaval! Cuz if it's true I would love to know about it!!


It is true but only certain families get it. You had to be offered it it wasn’t by application. I Know a few families who get free tuition. Again it’s not for every kollel family which is why this guy was bragging because not everyone is offered free tuition.
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amother




Cerise


Post  Tue, Jun 04 2019, 2:02 pm
[quote="amother [ Cerise ]"]It is true but only certain families get it. You had to be offered it it wasn’t by application. I Know a few families who get free tuition. Again it’s not for every kollel family which is why this guy was bragging because not everyone is offered free tuition.

Again this is an invitation exclusive to certain families.
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Emotional




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jun 04 2019, 2:13 pm
amother [ Cerise ] wrote:
It is true but only certain families get it. You had to be offered it it wasn’t by application. I Know a few families who get free tuition. Again it’s not for every kollel family which is why this guy was bragging because not everyone is offered free tuition.

But this guy wasn't in kollel... and he was claiming that his daughter is so magnificent and extraordinary that Bais Tova pays him to send her there.
I don't even know what to make of a person that would make a ludicrous statement like that.
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amother




Lemon


Post  Tue, Jun 04 2019, 3:08 pm
Emotional wrote:
But this guy wasn't in kollel... and he was claiming that his daughter is so magnificent and extraordinary that Bais Tova pays him to send her there.
I don't even know what to make of a person that would make a ludicrous statement like that.


Someone who is seriously lacking in other areas of his life... Sad
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amother




Cerise


Post  Tue, Jun 04 2019, 3:58 pm
Emotional wrote:
But this guy wasn't in kollel... and he was claiming that his daughter is so magnificent and extraordinary that Bais Tova pays him to send her there.
I don't even know what to make of a person that would make a ludicrous statement like that.



Is he claiming that as a four year old his daughter was so amazing and such a genius and so gifted that Bais Tova came knocking on his door and begged him to send his daughter to them and when he said no they even offered him thousands of dollars every month just to have his precious gifted daughter in their school.

Come on free tuition is one thing but as a three or four year old does he really think his daughter was so much better than all the other girls?
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Emotional




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jun 04 2019, 4:04 pm
amother [ Cerise ] wrote:
Is he claiming that as a four year old his daughter was so amazing and such a genius and so gifted that Bais Tova came knocking on his door and begged him to send his daughter to them and when he said no they even offered him thousands of dollars every month just to have his precious gifted daughter in their school.

Come on free tuition is one thing but as a three or four year old does he really think his daughter was so much better than all the other girls?

It could be he meant that Bais Tova is offering him money to send his daughter to Shiras Devorah (their own high school), but either way - unless his daughter has Rivka Imeinu's candles, challos, and Ananei Hakavod in her personal tent - I don't buy it.
And if his daughter is REALLY such an amazing tzaddeikess, it's unlikely she carries her father's genetics for terrible middos.
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amother




Cerise


Post  Tue, Jun 04 2019, 4:17 pm
Emotional wrote:
It could be he meant that Bais Tova is offering him money to send his daughter to Shiras Devorah (their own high school), but either way - unless his daughter has Rivka Imeinu's candles, challos, and Ananei Hakavod in her personal tent - I don't buy it.
And if his daughter is REALLY such an amazing tzaddeikess, it's unlikely she carries her father's genetics for terrible middos.


Then you don’t know how the high school system works in this town. All Bais Tova had to do was tell oros you can’t take this girl in because we want her in our high school and oros wouldn’t take her. Never ever would Bais Tova offer him money to keep his daughter there. Then why would he say I don’t know which high school to go to if Bais Tova was offering him money of course he would send to Shiras Devorah.

What makes more sense is that Bais Tova told him apply elsewhere we don’t want your daughter in our school so he used pull to get into oros and he has to brag because he’s lacking confidence that his diaghters wasn’t wanted.
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debsey




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jun 04 2019, 4:23 pm
esther36 wrote:
Before u start spreading rumors confirm the facts. My husband is BH in kollel for the last 15+ years and we work very hard to make ends meet. We definitely do pay tuition!!! I wish there was a different option as I have a few girls there and it really adds up... Go ask Rabbi Sanders to confirm this info before u make major upheaval! Cuz if it's true I would love to know about it!!


My understanding is that R' Sanders will occasionally waive tuition or a portion thereof for a girl from a kollel family if he feels that girl will be a beneficial addition to the grade. For example, if one particular grade is likely to be too full of wealthy, entitled girls, he wants to make sure there's a healthy environment. He looks for girls who are strong role models with more down-to-earth values who are likely to have a good influence on their peers, and offers them a scholarship. Same thing with some elementary school kids- if he thinks a down-to-earth mother will have a good effect on the other mothers in the class, he will offer a scholarship.

I think it's a healthy attempt at a certain level of social engineering. Schools in lakewood can be very stratified. This way, the girls get exposure to girls from less wealthy and more down-to-earth homes, and all benefit. This way, he can create a balanced grade and that's much healthier.
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unexpected




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jun 04 2019, 4:33 pm
It's possible somebody wanted to give this guy tzeddakah and did it through the school so the guy wouldn't be embarrassed. We paid for someone's bussing once and the school was happy to go along with it and say they were giving it for free
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Emotional




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jun 04 2019, 4:40 pm
amother [ Cerise ] wrote:
Then you don’t know how the high school system works in this town. All Bais Tova had to do was tell oros you can’t take this girl in because we want her in our high school and oros wouldn’t take her. Never ever would Bais Tova offer him money to keep his daughter there. Then why would he say I don’t know which high school to go to if Bais Tova was offering him money of course he would send to Shiras Devorah.

I know VERY well how the system works in this town. I have a daughter in high school. I was just trying to come up with a possible explanation to this man's bizarre statement, while simultaneously making supper and helping my five-year-old open his applesauce. Can't Believe It
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amother




Lemon


Post  Tue, Jun 04 2019, 5:03 pm
unexpected wrote:
It's possible somebody wanted to give this guy tzeddakah and did it through the school so the guy wouldn't be embarrassed. We paid for someone's bussing once and the school was happy to go along with it and say they were giving it for free


Sounds like the same idea as a friend who told me double play called her up to tell her they need her son because he’s a great baseball player and they are giving it to him for free. I didn’t buy that one either.
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naturalmom5




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jun 04 2019, 5:47 pm
debsey wrote:
My understanding is that R' Sanders will occasionally waive tuition or a portion thereof for a girl from a kollel family if he feels that girl will be a beneficial addition to the grade. For example, if one particular grade is likely to be too full of wealthy, entitled girls, he wants to make sure there's a healthy environment. He looks for girls who are strong role models with more down-to-earth values who are likely to have a good influence on their peers, and offers them a scholarship. Same thing with some elementary school kids- if he thinks a down-to-earth mother will have a good effect on the other mothers in the class, he will offer a scholarship.

I think it's a healthy attempt at a certain level of social engineering. Schools in lakewood can be very stratified. This way, the girls get exposure to girls from less wealthy and more down-to-earth homes, and all benefit. This way, he can create a balanced grade and that's much healthier.


Debsey that's a fascinating thesis but it is more pashut than that
My husband learns in same bais medrash as one of R Sander's machutonim.
If the stories he tells me are true it renews my faith in humanity.
R Sander's is a very big Baal Tzedoka
Whenever he hears that someone is really struggling he quietly waives the tuition
Sometimes he gives a bag of stuff from B Nosh to a yungerman for breakfast and says he bought too much for a meeting
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amother




Sienna


Post  Wed, Jun 05 2019, 1:06 am
amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:
No. Everyone mailed out around the same time, but the Vaad decided which parents can be manipulated into sending to Yesodos or Bnos BY, placed those girls there, and crossed them off the list. As a result, there are fewer girls vying to get into Bais Yaakov, Bais Shaindel, etc. You have one week from now to register (it actually has to be postmarked by Tuesday!) to confirm your slot.

Now the schools know who registered in which school and they can discuss how many more kids to accept, so they make their selections, and send out letters again. That's called Round Two.

Does anyone know if registering at the 2nd choice school (just to hold the slot) will kill any chances of pushing dd into her 1st choice during the second round?


So...my daughter got accepted to Bnos Bais Yaakov. She's a very good girl with excellent grades but I'm new in town and have no connections or money so I think trying for another school is utterly pointless. I've heard they were trying to "recreate" BBY but sadly it seems it still doesn't have the best name. Would you know if they had any success at all in bettering the school? Why does it have the reputation it does? Any info you (or anyone) can give me would be very helpful. You can do it privately if you don't feel comfortable doing it here but I personally feel it should be done publicly to help inform people. Many thanks!
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