I'm very broken by what I read on ima. I feel brainwashed.

amother

Cerulean

Thu, May 04 2017, 10:02 pm

If it helps OP I'm right here with you except I don't get help from my parents

I'm 36 , I have 7 children [I can open multiple thread here about birth control options failing, clashing with other medical conditions so please don't shoot - beleive me I know the issues] and I have $50,00 debt.

Oh and my DH has a mental disorder. whatever [thought this whatever thing fits in here nicely]

The only thing is that I haven't acrrued more debt the last few years.
yippee

I'm literally hoping for miracles to pull me out of debt and to help me pay for the simchas in my family

amother

Violet

Thu, May 04 2017, 10:20 pm

amother wrote:

Since I'm on this site, I constantly see questions like;
Do you have a retirement plan?
Do you plan for the future?
It's painful to me to realize that I don't have a half baked answer to these questions.
I got zero financial training, ok whatever.

Back to OPs original comments.

Its one thing not to be able to save towards retirement (and yes - this is a very big problem.) but its something different to not have a concept of what that theoretically entails.

Education is free. Better to have an idea of what you should be doing - if you could - that's it.

many threads here on how to be frugal - if that's what it takes.

Ilovemaryland

Thu, May 04 2017, 10:53 pm

finprof wrote:

Ask any question you want. I have a PhD in finance and am a finance professor, what do you want to know?

What do you think of Black and Scholl method for options investing

Would you recomend Binary Options

amother

Bronze

Thu, May 04 2017, 11:35 pm

amother wrote:

I'm th OP.
Who ever said I'm getting help from my parents? If anything, it's the other way around...

return2You

Thu, May 04 2017, 11:42 pm

I've been trying to make heads and tales out of my own finances the last few months and came across this amazing book called "the rich bit@ch" by Nicole Lapin

It is extremely easy to read, she makes it easy to implement and quite funny too. ( excuse the occasional off color words)
I highly recommend!

Rich b****: A Simple 12-Step Plan for Getting Your Financial Life Together...Finally https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062.....1AH6R

Last edited by return2You on Thu, May 04 2017, 11:50 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Bronze

Thu, May 04 2017, 11:42 pm

amother wrote:

Thanks. I am a minimalist by nature.
I think that financial planning seems so far fetched to me that I am nervous to hear what I should be doing out of fear that I won't be able to get there. I guess that's where my whatevers originate from...

amother

Olive

Thu, May 04 2017, 11:46 pm

Nobody ever says, I don't understand shidduchim, ok whatever. When something is important to you, then you figure out how the system works. I think the frum world doesn't make a priority of financial planning because it's so obvious that there are conflicting values at work here that stand in the way of fiscal responsibility.

On the one hand: young marriage,large families, little to no college education and delayed entry for men into the work force.

On the other hand: private schools, supporting young couples, and, depending on where you live, expensive weddings, fitting out newlyweds with the best of everything, jewelry, shtreimels, wigs, high end cars and/or strollers, vacations, expensive clothing etc.

Very few people can afford both. Rather than look realistically at social expectations, people just throw up their hands in despair. This doesn't bode well for the long term.

amother

Bronze

Thu, May 04 2017, 11:50 pm

return2You wrote:

I've been trying to make heads and tales out of my own finances and came across this amazing book called "the rich bit@ch"

It is extremely easy to read and quite funny too. I highly recommend!

Rich b****: A Simple 12-Step Plan for Getting Your Financial Life Together...Finally https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062.....1AH6R

Thanks! I read the pages available online. Seems refreshing.

amother

Bronze

Fri, May 05 2017, 12:02 am

amother wrote:

In 'my case, only your first hand is Right.
I have the option of doing a $3000 wedding and I am ok to do it.
To me, jumping off the social merry go round will not be the solution.
Solid financial education and planning would have been.

amother

Olive

Fri, May 05 2017, 12:05 am

amother wrote:

I'm happy for you. But I suppose you know that you are unusual. And still, that young couple is starting out already behind if they have children before they bring in an income that supports them.

amother

Bronze

Fri, May 05 2017, 12:22 am

amother wrote:

I'm happy for you. But I suppose you know that you are unusual. And still, that young couple is starting out already behind if they have children before they bring in an income that supports them.

I'm literally turning myself upside down that my children should get an education before they get married.
And one more thinng; they were raised not to need that fancy car or vacation. It's meaningless.

amother

Violet

Fri, May 05 2017, 12:38 am

amother wrote:

I'm literally turning myself upside down that my children should get an education before they get married.

what does that mean about turning yourself upside down?

if getting "an education" important value for you - then be sure that what ever Jewish education they have now, and in the future mirrors that. There was a mother here who complained that all her hard work was 'undone' by a Yeshiva that told her on otherwise. I suppose this is the Brainwashing you speak of.

I hope you're now motivated to learn more about financial planning for your family. Best of luck.

amother

Bronze

Fri, May 05 2017, 12:51 am

amother wrote:

if getting "an education" important value for you - then be sure that what ever Jewish education they have now, and in the future mirrors that.
what does that mean about turning yourself upside down?

It means that I'm working very hard for it.
It's possible that because I got to this point I decided to make sure they have a degree to start out with.
As for the boys, I don't know how becoming a CPA etc. in a frum environment can undo anything.

amother

Violet

Fri, May 05 2017, 1:05 am

amother wrote:

.
As for the boys, I don't know how becoming a CPA etc. in a frum environment can undo anything.

what I meant was - mother told her kids how important it is to get a secular education to be able to support their families - son then goes to a Yeshiva with a heavy 'don't worry it will all work out" no need for more secular education attitude, and all her 'mentoring' was washed away.

There are many frum yidden doing just fine without secular schooling... that not the issue - but 'basic financial literacy' should be something every adult should have....even in the "surrendered housewife" model... where the wife can say 'honey - I learned that we need to plan for retirement, you're on that right?' and then walk away.

amother

Cobalt

Fri, May 05 2017, 2:01 am

amother wrote:

even in the "surrendered housewife" model... where the wife can say 'honey - I learned that we need to plan for retirement, you're on that right?' and then walk away.

I did that "surrendered" thing, and found out that a couple of years ago DH sold off all of our life insurance policies in order to pay off a bad investment. We're too old to get new ones, and now we have nothing to pass down to DC in case something should happen to us, CVS.

crbc

Fri, May 05 2017, 6:50 am

I did not read all the comments , but look into Dave Ramsey - his books are available in the library and his video are on YouTube , including his seven baby steps program . Also if you are on FB, there is frum and frugal group , based on his principals. Good luck!

water_bear88

Fri, May 05 2017, 7:10 am

Ilovemaryland wrote:

What do you think of Black and Scholl method for options investing

Would you recomend Binary Options

I don't know about Black and Scholl, but whatever you do, stay away from binary options!!! All those companies are running scams and almost nobody sees their money back let alone any profit.