Proper swimming etiquette

amother

Aubergine

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 9:33 am

I go swimming every day, there are private locker rooms for changing. Yet there are 2 women that completely strip at the poolside and change there! I'm flabbergasted every time I see this. Many women stopped bringing their kids, some have filed a complaint with the owners. There are cameras all over the pool area, I don't understand how a women can strip like that. The locker rooms don't have cameras.

amother

Melon

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 9:38 am

mddm wrote:

I go swimming in a Frum Development pool, so only women in the locker room. I find that there are woman who change into and out of their bathing suits in the locker room where they are visible to all. I find it uncomfortable, especially when there are young girls there.
Is this common and I'm the crazy one or are they out of line??

Where I go swimming, this is common, but there are booths for those who do not feel comfortable undressing in front of other women.

However you cannot ask not to be "exposed" to seeing other women undress in the locker room.

amother

Viola

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 9:40 am

breindy s wrote:

So this morning I went for a swim in a pool I had never been to! and I was stunned at the locker room behaviour, there were no cubicles and everyone was literally changing in front of each other, frum people! I couldnt beleive it and was going to ask on imamother if this is normal and I am the one with body image issues... and then I see there is a thread on this already.. lolll

I assume you never knew the original Loehmann's in the Bronx. The fitting room was one dismal room with a few mirrors. No cubicles, no curtains. You stripped and tried on clothing with thirty forty women all doing the same thing. (And then competed for a place at the mirror.) Maybe they did this to foster the idea that prices were so low they couldn't afford cubicles, but it's my belief that this was just a sign of contempt for their customers.They could certainly afford to put up some piping and a few shower curtains and let people change with a modicum of privacy. The only thing I ever bought in Loehmann's was a necklace and I was sorry I bought that. I love a bargain, too, but not enough to put up with humiliation to get it.

amother

Peach

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 10:02 am

amother [ Viola ] wrote:

Loehmann’s is gone but that one dismal room with a few skimpy mirrors that you have to compete to see yourself in - that’s alive and kicking in at least one frum women’s clothing store. Am I the only one who hates shopping there?

amother

Rainbow

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 10:18 am

What exactly is the problem with women seeing other women changing and naked? There's no halachic issue and no moral issue because they're changing for a purpose to get in and out of their bathing suit. Why would you need to shelter your young girls from this, especially if they're a teen? You don't need to even shelter younger girls. A lot of frum women have body image issues and are ashamed, but this attitude needs to change. Hashem gave each woman a beautiful body and there's nothing to hide or be ashamed of in the appropriate place, like a changing room.

amother

Peach

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 10:40 am

amother [ Rainbow ] wrote:

There's a huge divide between shame and modesty and it might be worthwhile for you to look into that. A woman can be modest in the presence of other people without feeling an ounce of shame. She can feel happy with her beautiful body without wanting to share that with anyone besides her one chosen partner. It enhances the relationship when there are secrets you share only with each other. There's nothing to hide or be ashamed of in the appropriate place, like in the bedroom. FTFY

amother

Aubergine

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 10:41 am

amother [ Rainbow ] wrote:

Lot's of women are uncomfortable seeing nude women and having their younger girls see nude women. There's nothing wrong with that. It's not about being ashamed. It's called being tzenuis. Yes, even amongst other women. My body is beautiful, but not meant for other's besides my husband to see. I find it disturbing that women are ok with their young kids being exposed to full nudity. If there are designated locker rooms for changing, it is very odd to completely strip at the poolside. Especially if there are cameras all around the pool area.

amother

Rainbow

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 10:45 am

amother [ Peach ] wrote:

You can be modest without shame. But changing without anyone else seeing you in a changing room does not make you more modest. The bedroom is not the only place where it's appropriate to be naked, there's the doctors office, locker room...

amother

Rainbow

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 10:47 am

amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:

Being uncomfortable means they're ashamed not modest. What's wrong with young kids seeing naked women in an appropriate setting like a changing room? Boys who go to the mikva are also seeing older naked men, so for boys it's ok but not for girls?

amother

Daisy

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 10:49 am

I just want to say that I took my daughter (9) to a public swimming pool (Women’s hours) and was HOPING we’d see people undressed- not parading around, changing- especially bec seems like these days frum people don’t even swim in plain bathing suits anymore! I want to teach her body positivity, want her to see bodies of different shapes and sizes, and people confident and comfortable letting people see their imperfect bodies. This should be a spin-off but is everyone actually so Tzniyus or they’re just ashamed and self conscious about their bodies?

amother

Aubergine

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 10:52 am

amother [ Rainbow ] wrote:

No, being uncomfortable does not mean we're ashamed of our bodies. It is inappropriate for young kids to be exposed to nudity. Nudity is Nudity, regardless if it's in a locker room or on a screen.
Young boys generally don't go to the mikvah.

amother

Aubergine

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 10:53 am

amother [ Daisy ] wrote:

Privacy does NOT mean that we're ashamed and self conscious of our bodies. There's no reason in the world that we or our girls need to see others breasts, private parts, and behind.... it is disturbing that you're hoping your daughter should be exposed to nudity. How can we teach our kids body safety and privacy yet be ok with exposing them to adults nude bodies?

amother

Bronze

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 10:57 am

This might be a spinoff, but my husband described going to the mikva as a 10 year old. He didn't have any issues with it when he was fist telling me, but when I started questioning him ("wait, so it was you and all these naked older men around? You were ok with that?") he admitted that he probably wouldn't put his kids in that situation. So no, it's not ok, even if it's in a totally 'acceptable' framework. Its uncomfortable for kids to see naked adults, period.

amother

Daisy

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 10:57 am

amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:

context is everything. Nudity is not inappropriate in certain contexts, like when someone is getting dressed. I clearly said not strolling around, just getting dressed. Rarely do I see people totally naked. They have a towel around their waist and are putting on a bra. Or something like that. But seeing other people’s bodies like that is not inappropriate.

vintagebknyc

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 11:06 am

amother [ Daisy ] wrote:

This. This is why my mother took me to Loehmann's. Guess what: it worked.

amother

Viola

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 1:11 pm

amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:

Forced nudity is an invasion of privacy. Some people have a sense of personal modesty having nothing to do with being ashamed of their bodies. Not everyone is interested in showing their body to all and sundry. I don't show my diamond jewelry to everyone, either.

amother

NeonPink

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 1:36 pm

amother [ Viola ] wrote:

There's no forced nudity, just an understanding that in this space, nudity is accepted.

amother

Lightyellow

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 1:48 pm

amother [ Viola ] wrote:

Have you been to Brenda's and Fashion Island in Brooklyn?
It she same

amother

Aubergine

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 1:53 pm

amother [ NeonPink ] wrote:

There's no forced nudity, just an understanding that in this space, nudity is accepted.

Bringing a child anywhere where there are nude adults, is forced nudity. There's absolutely no reason for a child to ever see the body of a naked adult.

amother

Aubergine

Fri, Jan 21 2022, 1:54 pm

amother [ Lightyellow ] wrote:

Have you been to Brenda's and Fashion Island in Brooklyn?
It she same

I've never seen anyone strip naked in a communal dressing room at a frum store.