Be careful with your chumros!

Lechatchila Ariber

Tue, Oct 16 2007, 4:53 pm

GR wrote:

EstiS wrote:

Quote:

If it obligates one's descendents, then the fact that some family members dropped it only means they did the wrong thing, and you are obligated to reinstate it (along with all the other chasidic customs).

yeah, like candle lighting. you should probably find out if they did it before marriage. your kids may have to start doing it shock

To take that a step further, since most frum people come from a Chassidishe background, what does that mean for the lost minhagim they are supposed to be keeping?

And how does this discussion coincide with Shalhevet's argument that Chabad should be teaching all their mekuravim/Chabad House attendees, their own original minhagim?

You decide.

GR you may recall she changed her mind after it was pointed out that many of those attendees actually did have as their original minhag the minhag of candle lighting.
If I can be bothered, I'll try and find the exact quote later on.

shoshb

Tue, Oct 16 2007, 5:06 pm

Quote:

Remember that post?
Until it's edited I consider it an affront to my father. To prove it isn't, edit it with a different example.
When you have taken back your chutzpah I will be willing to talk to you normally again.
So long for now.

You know, GR, I've always been a fan of you and your posts, and I understand why you took Shalhevet's post as you did. However, the above is really a bit disengenuous. On another thread, where Mali sarcastically called some posters "donkeys", your response was:

Quote:

Funny, Mali!!

I think you can see why that can also be taken as affront, and perhaps you should apologise/edit, as you expect Shalhevet to do.

gryp

Tue, Oct 16 2007, 5:45 pm

Thanks for your understanding, Shosh. It's nice when people "get it."

What the other thread has to do with this, I have no idea, but allow me to explain that I laughed at Mali's connection between the quote and Imadonkey. No, I don't think name calling is funny. I should have clarified what I was laughing at and I'm sorry I didn't.

Lechatchila Ariber

Tue, Oct 16 2007, 6:10 pm

shoshb wrote:

Quote:

Funny, Mali!!

I think you can see why that can also be taken as affront, and perhaps you should apologise/edit, as you expect Shalhevet to do.

shosh, mali didn't call poster's donkeys. Did you even understand the quote she posted, or were you just responding to the english part of her post?

Ruchel

Tue, Oct 16 2007, 6:22 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

shalhevet wrote:

Yeh, most frum people come from a chassidishe background Scratching Head

. Right, five hundred years ago everyone was chassidishe.

I have actually heard that most Jews are Sefardi.

In France, Ashkenazim are 33%.
In the world, Sefardim are 30ish%.
lol

gonewiththewind

Tue, Oct 16 2007, 7:56 pm

EstiS wrote:

with all due respect you have all of 38 posts?
you don't seem to be familiar with whats been a happening and where this thread originated.

before judging, you need to recognize that as a newcomer to a discussion or board, you are missing some information and only get half a picture

Actually I do realize that the reason for all this discord is because you feel Shalhevet is Lub bashing.

But after rethinking I owe GR an apology. My comment probably hurt her feelings and I'm not her mother to be teaching her about emotional maturity. So please be moichel any emotional pain I caused. Really

I know I am new, but I am probably older than most of you and I just feel sad that you ladies are missing such a nice opportunity to share problems and solutions, thoughts and ideas, because of all the discord. This should be a warm, secure place, a virtual support group. Why the cruelty

I am not one to preach as I myself was just nichshal in onaas devorim, but all the halachos of bein adam lechaveiro also apply online. We run to do chesed and hachnosis orchim but bash someone up on the net? Its an easy chesed to write something comforting or encouraging...so why not grab it.

My apologies again

gryp

Tue, Oct 16 2007, 8:15 pm

MiriamF, I don't think you really understand the situation. I am willing to erase the insults and accept your apologies because of the simple fact that I don't consider my feelings important enough to hold permanence at the expense of Ahavas Yisroel. My own "kavod" I can live without, but when someone knocks my father's kavod which he certainly has earned is his own right- that I will not give up on.

Quote:

since most frum people come from a Chassidishe background,

I meant that most Ashkenazi Jews have a Chassidishe ancestor somewhere in their lineage. Not that all Jews used to be Chassidim. Rolling Eyes

gryp

Tue, Oct 16 2007, 8:18 pm

EstiS wrote:

GR wrote:

EstiS wrote:

Quote:

yeah, like candle lighting. you should probably find out if they did it before marriage. your kids may have to start doing it shock

btw, Esti, the discussion centered mainly on candlelighting, but other minhagim also were in the discussion. I remember the Seder Ka'arah of Pesach being mentioned.

Tefila

Tue, Oct 16 2007, 8:26 pm

Quote:

Before the Inquisition? The one last week or the one 500 years ago?

Miriamf though you are new and are not aware of what has transpired before, to know how certain posters feel about certain shitas. I applaud you Smile

since you can look objectionaly at this thread . And for trying to make peace. Thanks Wink

B/c yes we have more in common that unites us as Jews then that which devides us.

Lechatchila Ariber

Tue, Oct 16 2007, 8:34 pm

GR wrote:

EstiS wrote:

GR wrote:

EstiS wrote:

Quote:

yeah, like candle lighting. you should probably find out if they did it before marriage. your kids may have to start doing it shock

btw, Esti, the discussion centered mainly on candlelighting, but other minhagim also were in the discussion. I remember the Seder Ka'arah of Pesach being mentioned.

I know but my point was that while she originally was stressing that we should not be teaching mekurovim to light candles but rather to help them find their own original minhagim; once it was pointed out that for many of those mekurovim their minhag was to light candles, she changed tactics and suggested that the minhag was in disuse for too long, so we shouldn't be teaching it to them

Yael

Wed, Oct 17 2007, 11:46 am

This discussion has veered in the wrong direction, and will now be locked.
Its a shame that women from different derachim are unable to communicate effectively and share an intellectual discussion without it being tarnished by comments which mock and insult.
I hope future discussions will evolve in a more serious, mature, and respectful way.