Kid needs speech mother denies???

HindaRochel

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 7:45 am

I had great pediatricans. One was of the old school; the kind that didn't run a thousand tests to prove the kid had a cold. He talked to mom, asked questions and evaluated the child based on what he knew of kids and how the thousands of thousands of kids whom he saw in his practice, some of which was of the stop by the house variety, lived and behaved.

I think it is all part of the rush to get kids doing that is so prevelant today. Seriously, people start worrying about a child who isn't reading by age four. Has no one heard of the Moores (better late than early) or Charlotte Mason?

lubcoralsprings

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 7:45 am

I definitely think that some agencies rush to give speech therapy but there is a time and a place for everything. A two year old who isn't talking is just not right. If you told me a fourteen month old with no words I would say ok, but with a two year old with NO SPEEECH?? I don't think it has anything to do with parenting decisions but more to do with getting help when needed. Sometimes parents don't always know what's best and B"H for agencies that can help. The guidelines for speech milestones can be flexibile by a couple of months say if you have a slower child but not by a few years.

HindaRochel

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 7:49 am

1. amother isn't an agency, she is a friend. She really doesn't have inside information even if she thinks she does.
2. A parent who has a pediatrician, or takes their child regularly to the doctor has whom to ask. A good pediatriacian does assess these things and will make a note to discuss the issue further next visit if there are concerns.

Most children do speak by two. Most childern start speaking in short sentences and their speech becomes more and more clear till by three they are speaking fluently. But not all. Most three year olds who I know who start speaking at three basically start speaking at three level.

Kind of like my daughter with reading. I wouldn't say she knew how to read her native language, English, till 8. But once she read she took off, reading fluently and at grade level and higher.

anon

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 7:56 am

chocolate moose wrote:

HindaRochel wrote:

Some children do not speak till three and are quite fine.

And when I said that, people poo-poo'd me ...

The people who would poo-poo that statement just aren't bothering to comment at this point.

Although now that I'm posting, I'd like to ask just what exactly HindaRochel means by "some" and "quite fine". Somehow I just find it very hard to believe that there are a bunch of kids running around who didn't say a word until they were 3 and went on to do very well in school. I'm not saying that it never happens....but I believe the word "some" is very misleading.

And just another question...why on EARTH would you trust the opinion of a regular pediatrician who has become skilled in the prevention and treatment of childhood diseases MORE than someone who has become skilled in evaluating and treating speech and language disorders? The logic boggles my mind. Oh right, cuz speech therapists are a bunch of unethical, money-hungry individuals who are interested in getting as many children into therapy as possible. Rolling Eyes

Pickle Lady

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 8:00 am

lubcoralsprings wrote:

We are talking about no speech not talking in sentences. I have never met a healthy two year old that didn't have any language by age two.

BUT the child the OP is talking about is not TWO he is 20 1/2 months and still has time until he is 2. When I looked up the guildlines for his age group for speech online only a few words are expected at that age. Also he is a boy and some boys are later talkers and this is a chld from a large family and its also common for them to talk late. A child is not a computor and no 2 children will grow at the same rate.

Last edited by Pickle Lady on Thu, Nov 08 2007, 8:02 am; edited 2 times in total

gryp

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 8:01 am

Quote:

Although now that I'm posting, I'd like to ask just what exactly HindaRochel means by "some" and "quite fine". Somehow I just find it very hard to believe that there are a bunch of kids running around who didn't say a word until they were 3 and went on to do very well in school. I'm not saying that it never happens....but I believe the word "some" is very misleading.

Sure they are. I can think of more than a bunch of kids like that off the top of my head.
School teaches kids how to talk. My 3 year old didn't say much more than "I want _____." Almost every day he picked up words and phrases and brought them home. After a few weeks he was talking in paragraphs.

I've heard this is a very common scenario from other preschool teachers.

HindaRochel

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 8:01 am

First we are talking about a not yet two child in the original post.
Second, my own child did not speak till 3. GR's child wasn't speaking until about three, correct GR? I knew one child and heard about several others from other moms whose kids didn't talk till three.

As far as trusting a pediatriacian, a good pediatrician deals with children on a daily basis and assesses them for troubles. Who do you take your child to that you wouldn't trust them? I wouldn't take my child to a regular pediatriacian for a full work up and treatment plan, but s/he would certainly know that the child requires help.

anon

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 8:05 am

Can I just clarify one thing?

A bilingual child is not in the same category as a monolingual child!

GR, HindaRochel....You are using your bilingual children as examples of late bloomers who turned out to be fine, and that it totally and completely misleading. Unless the OP, or other mothers who post here, are talking about bilingual children, the language development of your bilingual child is completely irrelevant.

HindaRochel

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 8:16 am

Anon,

My son wasn't bilingual.
And we don't know all the facts in terms of op's friend. The child may be speaking more than anyone knows.

We didn't think my oldest was speaking more than "ima" and "aba" at the age she was speaking until she was quite a bit older and we were watching a video my fil made of her. The phone rang, and quite clearly we heard, months after the fact, my daughter saying "I git it" But at that time we thought she was basically pre-verbal.

Four out of five of my children are now bi-lingual, with one being more or less a natural speaker of both languages (she came here at four). But we only moved here four years ago.

We know no other factors in the above case other than what op told us. ANd that doesn't tell us how the child is, but how the child is percieved.

anon

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 8:19 am

GR wrote:

Any of the factors I thought mattered in my son's slow speech can maybe be discounted in the OP's friend's child. We'll never know.

And that is EXACTLY the problem with this thread, something that I believe sthillmom mentioned a while back. You cannot compare one child to another. The fact that an almost 2 year is not speaking at all can be very concerning, and it doesn't stop being concerning just because someone else's child turned out to be fine.

Is there such a thing as a late bloomer? YES
Is it always clear whether a child is a late bloomer or truly language delayed? NO

However, there are various factors which can point to one or the other, and hopefully a skilled speech pathologist will be able to pick up on these factors.

It is such a disservice to dissuade a parent from getting a child evaluated and perhaps receiving services just because you know of children who ended up not requiring therapy. You can tell parents all these stories to give them HOPE that their child is fine, but the child should still be evaluated.

HindaRochel

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 8:25 am

No one is stating the child shouldn't be evaluated, what most of us seem to be saying, or at least I'm trying to say, is that it isn't OP's concern. She could raise the issue, but then leave it alone. She doesn't know if the child is receiving help, she doesn't know if the mother has talked with the doctor, she doesn't know if the child speaks more at home.

She just knows she told the mother politely that she should take the child to one of two different orginizations to have the child evalutated.

Now if the mother herself were on the list and were asking I would tell the mom if she has any concerns she should ask her doctor, tell her my story, but that there are a lot of factors involved and no one knows better than herself and her doctor.

anon

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 8:29 am

HindaRochel wrote:

I'm still not sure if you clarified that all these nonverbal 3 year olds ended up being good students in school. The fear is not that they're never going to talk. You can have a big yenta with a language impairment.

But even they did....they are the exception, and it's unfair to discount the necessity of speech therapy for all these children who are receiving it based on exceptions.

As for pediatricians...if I have a medical concern, I'll ask him. If I have a speech/language concern, I'll ask a speech therapist. If I'm worried about possible sensory issues, I'll ask an occupational therapist. And if I'm worried about certain physical milestones, I'll speak to a physical therapist. As well, I would also speak to a teacher, because the teacher can easily compare one child's performance to the rest of his peers. But no, I do not expect the pediatrician to be the guru of speech and language development and many parents feel they were misled by pediatricians who poo-poo'd their concerns when the child, in fact, did have a significant problem.

anon

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 8:33 am

HindaRochel wrote:

Oh, well I think the thread went a bit off-tangent. I don't even remember the OP's post anymore. I was responding to comments about speech therapy in general.

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gryp

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 8:53 am

Quote:

The OP wrote that the mother is denying the child needs therapy. And who is the OP comparing the child to, I would like to know.

anon

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 9:38 am

GR wrote:

Quote:

The OP wrote that the mother is denying the child needs therapy. And who is the OP comparing the child to, I would like to know.

we obviously can't make judgments about that particular child because we don't know any details. Either way, it's not the OP's place to give her unsolicited advice.

I was just objecting to the fact that you were writing about your son, all the while leaving out pertinent information. You only happened to mention that he's bilingual in one of your many posts. It is such a significant factor, and since you were using him as a comparison, I feel it was misleading not to mention it at the outset.

And because each child comes with his own set of individual factors, it's silly to compare one delayed child to another delayed child.