Wear a snood to a store in Monsey

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Inquiries & Offers -> New York related Inquiries

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Next

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

watergirl

Mon, Feb 19 2018, 1:30 pm

Blumy wrote:

When people wear a snood and it's half off. The whole top part of their hair is showing! THAT'S disgusting!

No. Its not disgusting. Its a woman who’s hashkafa says she can leave out that much hair. Or a woman who chooses to for whatever reason. Maybe hair covering is hard for her? Maybe she struggles with it? Maybe she has to have it that far back because otherwise she gets horrible migraines and she has a heter (I know one such woman). Why cant you celebrate that a woman is covering her hair, keeping this obligation, and leave her be without name calling? Gosh, with friends like you, who needs enemies?

Can people STOP calling other women disgusting please!!??

Last edited by watergirl on Mon, Feb 19 2018, 1:31 pm; edited 1 time in total

Blumy

Mon, Feb 19 2018, 1:31 pm

Mommyg8 wrote:

So are you equally judgmental about short skirts? Tight clothes? No socks? Just trying to clarify.

No I am not. I'm scared to say anything on this site about this whole snood thing but it literally became a style. I'm surprised at what type of people do it..

thunderstorm

Mon, Feb 19 2018, 1:32 pm

watergirl wrote:

You go girl!!!!

Blumy

Mon, Feb 19 2018, 1:32 pm

watergirl wrote:

it's not a hashkafic issue here. it's halacha!!

watergirl

Mon, Feb 19 2018, 1:33 pm

Blumy wrote:

it's not a hashkafic issue here. it's halacha!!

No, its hashkafa.

Blumy

Mon, Feb 19 2018, 1:34 pm

watergirl wrote:

No, its hashkafa.

Sorry, it's usually more than a tefach.

SuperWify

Mon, Feb 19 2018, 1:36 pm

I’m feeling pretty judgmental now on those that are judgmental...

watergirl

Mon, Feb 19 2018, 1:37 pm

Blumy wrote:

Sorry, it's usually more than a tefach.

Again, hashkafa. I’m not going there now with you. My one and only point is that its never ok to put someone down for anything, esp her observance of something that is difficult for many, such as hair covering.

Blumy

Mon, Feb 19 2018, 1:39 pm

watergirl wrote:

you're right it's just sad

DVOM

Mon, Feb 19 2018, 1:45 pm

Blumy wrote:

When people wear a snood and it's half off. The whole top part of their hair is showing! THAT'S disgusting!

Ouch!

Strong words Blumy!

If we ever met in real life, I hope me and my hair don't disgust you! I have very fine, silky hair and with four little guys to run after I do my best to keep my hair covering squarely on my head, but it does slip back sometimes... I usually don't even notice until someone points it out to me or I pass by a mirror. Wow. When I see other women with a bit of hair showing, I don't feel disgusted, but sympathetic. It can be hard to keep the thing on your head all the time!

Blumy

Mon, Feb 19 2018, 1:50 pm

DVOM wrote:

Obviously I am not talking about you. I was in the store the other day and a lady was fixing her snood like y'know pulling it forward then back, she legit put it to the back of her head. I didn't think it was ok.

DVOM

Mon, Feb 19 2018, 1:57 pm

Blumy wrote:

Like I said, it can be hard to keep a hair covering on your head all the time. For me, it's the mechanics of it that mess me up sometimes. But haven't you ever done something you know you shouldn't, because it feels good? Worn something a little risqué? Said a joke in mixed company that you know made you look particularly cute, or feminine, or interesting and attractive? The pull to feel beautiful, look beautiful, be recognized, is really strong. I have only sympathy for women who struggle to cover their hair. If the lady in the store fixing her snood felt prettier with it hanging off the back of her head, I don't condone her actions, but I'd work on myself not to feel disgusted by her. Perhaps she's struggling. I may not struggle in the same areas, but I struggle too. I'd want the sympathy and support of the women around me, not their disgust.

little neshamala

Mon, Feb 19 2018, 1:58 pm

This makes me so sad. Please, blumy, please try to reframe your thoughts. Every tisha bvav we watch all these presentations about sinas chinam and then poof it all goes out the window!
I cant handle this.
We need mashiach.we NEED him. Find me one person who will disagree about that.
Hashem straight out told us the reason was sinas chinam but we just cant stop looking down on our fellow Jew, even if they ARE doing something neged halacha....I cant I just cant

little neshamala

Mon, Feb 19 2018, 2:04 pm

Blumy wrote:

Also, now that I think about it...im quite frum I think. My Rav (who is very yeshivish) showed me exactly what a tefach is (and I believe there are different opinions). He held up his hand and explained its 4 fingers worth of a MANS hand-and he specified its large fingers, so not a small mans hand. Using his hand, it really came out to a generous area. And this only applies from ear to ear.

Now, im sure other people have been told otherwise by their Rabbanim, whether its more or less.

So why dont we assume this lady has been told by her Rav that that is the ammount of hair she is allowed to expose, and leave it at that?

Blumy

Mon, Feb 19 2018, 2:10 pm

little neshamala wrote:

sorry you're taking it a little far. I don't hate these people. It just really irks me. Believe me, I have friends that do it and do I say anything to them? No! I am not that type of person! but since this is a site online that I can voice my opinion that's what I am doing. I love my fellow Jews-don't get me wrong.

southernbubby

Mon, Feb 19 2018, 2:11 pm

watergirl wrote:

I would say this; when I was young and newly married, there were no websites such as this one and I honestly didn't know how much hair covering was expected because my mother had not covered her hair but when I went to the Kotel for the first time, I wanted to be respectful, all the while not knowing that my hair was not adequately covered or that it was respectful to cover my feet with stockings.

So some people that are shopping in the store with open shoes or half a head covering possibly don't even know that they are doing anything "wrong" or it was never something that they were raised to do.

OTOH, when people have been raised to know, or educated to know, and they choose to do otherwise, what they wear to a store is one thing but would it hurt them to dress a bit more respectfully at family events or to enter a holy place? I can't understand the outrage when a woman is asked to dress a bit more tznius to come to shul on YomTov or to attend a family simcha or simply to avoid embarrassing her own family in the neighborhood. It simply can't be that hard to comply once in awhile both for peace in the family and for the sake of the respect of holy places. It is almost as if some people must always announce to the world that hair covering and other aspects of tznius are too big of an imposition, even when the situation demands it. And then, no one can pass judgment on them, no siree. Everything is about them and their feelings and nothing is about the feelings of those whose customs are being stepped on. It is absolutely fine to come to the simcha of a very frum family dressed in an attention getting way because we have to be more worried about passing judgment than this woman is worried about embarrassing or offending anyone. It is so interesting that we have to bend over backwards for those who can't bother to respect our feelings.

So yes, hair covering is difficult but if a job required a certain helmet or surgical hair covering, it would somehow have to happen. So now it is correct to scream "judgmental" rather than to ask anyone to dress respectfully of the occasion. Of course, maybe the person is doing the family or community a favor by showing up at all and she finds the community so deplorable that it takes everything just to get her to show up half dressed.

little neshamala

Mon, Feb 19 2018, 2:13 pm

Blumy wrote:

But its not about what you say or what you choose to keep inside your head. Its the attitude. Im sure you want to love your fellow Jew, becayse you say you do.
But then try not to look down on them. Re-read your posts, see how you come across.

naturalmom5

Mon, Feb 19 2018, 2:16 pm

Mommyg8 wrote:

So are you equally judgmental about short skirts? Tight clothes? No socks? Just trying to clarify.

Blumy, by that line of reasoning, women who don't cover their hair at all are even more disgusting.

Blumy

Mon, Feb 19 2018, 2:17 pm

little neshamala wrote:

What can I say? it just bothers me that's all. Doesn't necessarily mean I look down at them

Blumy

Mon, Feb 19 2018, 2:19 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

Blumy, by that line of reasoning, women who don't cover their hair at all are even more disgusting.

For some reason it doesn't bother me as much..

Page 4 of 8

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Next