Daughter's highschool - is this normal?

amother

Teal

Tue, Apr 24 2018, 11:25 pm

Sheesh amother pearl! Why are you being so rude??? OP asked a question & stated her opinion which she is well entitled to do! You don't have to agree with her but don't be rude! Her wanting to know if it's normal for her daughter to be treated to a day off doesn't make her a bad mother! As you being rude definitely makes you a bad person.

amother

Pearl

Tue, Apr 24 2018, 11:28 pm

No that doesn't make me a bad person. I'm just so fed up with these parents that complain to the schools and mess up the fun and excitement for the children that have parents who are happy about it. (Usually normal parents are happy to see their children being happy)
And it wasn't directed at the op. Just in general

TwinsMommy

Tue, Apr 24 2018, 11:31 pm

my daughter has special needs--- she's only 11 now and by high school I'll likely be able to leave her alone for an hour or two or three but in just a few years from now I don't know that I'd be comfy leaving her home alone all day long so speaking from that group of quiet parents of kids with special circumstances--- not everyone would be happy having their 9th grader have a free for all at the house with no supervision for an entire day. So parents need advance notice---- one day is not enough as a parent who doesn't work or doesn't have plans on a school day is kind of rare.

Seems unprofessional to me.

amother

Bisque

Tue, Apr 24 2018, 11:43 pm

amother wrote:

Giving kids an extra day off of school as a reward, is not 'fun and excitement' - it's lazy. 'fun and excitement' would be doing something special for them.. supervised.

amother

Teal

Tue, Apr 24 2018, 11:47 pm

Amother pearl, being fed up gives you no excuse the be rude. Everyone is entitled to an opinion. If a mom wants to call in to ask about the girls being given a day off, so be it! It doesn't effect you so why are you mad??

amother

Azure

Wed, Apr 25 2018, 1:03 am

Twins mommy and all others complaining, almost every hs I know will let girls go home early, without any notice to parents if there are a few afternoon spares such as when a teacher doesn’t come in. I never heard of a hs calling the parents to inform them.
At that age, the girls are self sufficient enough that they leave school an hour or two early no problem.
Twinsmommy, you should come clean to any hs that you apply to, that this won’t work for your daughter. They should have the option not to accept her if they cannot accommodate her special needs, before it becomes a situation. I’m not being insensitive to you, I’m just pointing out something that you have an issue with, that’s normal hs functioning.
If someone doesn’t like something that works for most. Choose another school.

amother

Green

Wed, Apr 25 2018, 3:19 am

amother wrote:

That's for sure not the case everywhere. It's probably only in Brooklyn or where everything is walkable. I was in public school in a suburb. We relied on school buses until 12th grade, when we drove ourselves. In fact, in 10th grade we once had a substitute not show up for one class, and we all just went to the lunch room (other kids were having lunch then- it was a big school) and we got detention for it later in the week. We were expected to stay where we were supposed to be. I think it's perfectly fair to ask if this is in the realm of normal for a school of OP's type in OP's location, which judging by the responses it is.

amother

Azure

Wed, Apr 25 2018, 3:40 am

Sorry amother Green, I live oot. All the high schools here let the girls out early without parental notice. My daughters will show up at home earlier then usual and tell me their teacher was absent. I never thought twice about it and never heard of parents complaining.

amother

Copper

Wed, Apr 25 2018, 3:46 am

amother wrote:

by us it's the same. Only the parents sign a paper that they are okay with it. If not they can ask in the beginning of the schoolyear to get notified if the girls come home earlier

amother

Green

Wed, Apr 25 2018, 3:53 am

amother wrote:

How do they get home?

amother

Green

Wed, Apr 25 2018, 4:20 am

amother wrote:

so by is most girls go to school by foot anyway, so it's not a problem

Well that's exactly why I said "or where everything is walkable." And out of curiosity, how OOT can you be if you have multiple girls' schools that are filled by girls in walkable distance? Is that really true in most "OOT" places?

Rachel Shira

Wed, Apr 25 2018, 7:09 am

I think it’s a little strange that you’re looking at high school as childcare - you’re paying this much per day, so they should occupy your child then. That’s not the point of high school.
I also think that high schoolers should be treated with a certain amount of autonomy. Maybe because I lived in a dorm, but I think it’s totally normal for girls to be trusted to be home alone and to pass this kind of message on to their parents. Also, to me a day off is a pretty common occurrence later in high school. Not frequent, but it keeps the girls happy when they’re getting burnt out. For example, senior ditch day, etc.
I do think that 9th grade and 11th grade are 2 different stories. I have a bit more of a problem with 9th grade having this day off with no notice to the parents.

amother

Silver

Wed, Apr 25 2018, 8:37 am

Twinsmommy, you can tell the high school, (when you are telling them all the other requested accomodations and/or quirks of your dd) that impromptu days off can be complicated for you so can they please let you know as soon as they know it may be a possibility. Commit to making contingency plans without telling your dd, so that the school can keep it a surprise (and prevent disappointment if it doesn't happen) but you are prepared. They often know these thjngs are in the works before they are finalized.

Kiwi13

Wed, Apr 25 2018, 9:01 am

I think it’s weird that the reward is a day where they don’t go to school at all. I’ve had similar things when I was in high school, but it was never a “day off,” it was a trip or party to celebrate WITH the class. Kind of like a team building thing to bring the class together and boost morale. It also wasn’t usually the whole day (unless the class earned a trip). Sometimes we would go for ice cream for one or two class periods, and I think that was fine.

Your daughter’s school is making a mistake in my opinion. This kind of “reward” does nothing to celebrate their selling the most tickets, it does nothing to bring the class together in their accomplishment, it does nothing to reinforce the goodness of school and education (quite the opposite, actually). Definitely call and complain. I would bet you’re not the only parent who is upset by the school’s poor judgment call.

seeker

Wed, Apr 25 2018, 9:14 am

I do agree with the points against it, however I don't think it's that egregious. I would not waste a phone call to the school over this. It's not grossly inappropriate, even if there could be better approaches, and you really don't want to be the parent who complains about everything and gets tuned out.

High school girls work freaking hard and could use a day off. They do not require the parents to hire a babysitter at the last minute or otherwise rearrange their own schedules. And they are old enough that it's not really impactful anymore with regard to communicating mixed messages about the value of education (which is what I would argue if we were talking about, say, 3rd grade)